The nominees for the A Break Instead of a Lecture Award (Pettiest Complaint) are:
- Nothing's On - What do you do when there's nothing worth watching on TV? Read a book? Take a walk? If you are Mallard, you complain about it.
- Grammar Police - "Common and minor grammatical errors are inexcusable." Don't be that guy, Mallard. Nobody likes that guy.
- Has this ever happened to you? No? - Mallard, apparently, has a history of packages being destroyed by the USPS, and he seems to believe it happens to everyone else as well.
- Car Alarms - Mallard discovered car alarms a decade after Stand-Up Comedians decided the topic was tired.
- Etc. - You know what really irks me? Shall I tell you? OK...Etc. pisses me off.