The nominees for Worst Metaphor are:
- Anybody Seen Bob? - Americans, at least under President Obama, are wimpy little Herbivores and our enemies are scary Carnivores. If we try to talk with them, they'll just kill and then eat our ambassadors.
- Dinosaur Religion - See, dinosaurs hold their own Protestant religious beliefs and Global Warming is an opposing religious viewpoint, and then there's the fossil fuel thing...Look, people, this makes total sense!
- You just don't get it - The Caveman is change. But he's also the status quo. And a caveman. Q.E.D.
- The Natural Order of Things - Hate crimes are completely natural, just like eating.
- Turkeys - Americans are simple-minded turkeys who are about to be slaughtered and eaten by hungry Pilgrims, which represent Europeans, obviously enough.