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Tuesday, March 27, 2007

That damned city

What's Mallard raving about today?

San Francisco, Illicit drug-use, North Dakota.

Mallard is unwilling to be explicit about why exactly this fact should be self-evident, preferring innuendo in place of any discussion.

The article, by contrast, delves into the potential reasons:
"The fact that state law allows the use of medical marijuana and that we have a population with a high rate of AIDS that might need to use medical marijuana may contribute to the rates," says Alice Gleghorn, deputy director of community behavioral health services in San Francisco's Department of Public Health. "We do have a cultural regional norm with regard to medical-marijuana use."

The coastal area north of San Francisco, included in the study as part of the metropolitan area, is known as a popular marijuana growing spot. "Where marijuana is very accessible, you're going to get higher use," Gleghorn says.
And yet, no matter what else you can say about today's panel, it makes me want to live in a place without gravity where people have only 4 toes.


Truce Binsley said...

Yes, Bruce. Keep telling yourself that alcoholics like yourself are morally superior to users of illegal drugs.

Kaitlyn said...

Innuendo is enough.

It's San Francisco, daveyk!

Hippies used to live there - with flowers in their hair.

You're supposed to be surprised if there isn't drug use there.

Though I think the people that are actually shocked and offended are the non-drug using citizens of San Fran, I'm pretty sure North Dakota, while close to Great White North, is far from pure. Most of it is isolated and rural, and that is the type of place meth is made. "Hilbilly crack", right? My half-sister lives in a rural part eastern Tennessee, and we think she's on meth. When she last came over, she'd lost a lot of weight and looked sick, but claimed she wasn't.

I have family in South Dakota, I'm sure my cousin and her husband have smoked pot before - it grows wild in a little patch on her mother's property in New Mexico - near the hen's yard, but not in it. Can you imagine eating the egg of a chicken that ate pot plants? She sells some of the eggs and eats the rest - all unfertilized. And Dixie (my new curled up icon) only killed chickens, not the lone rooster. Baby chicks are cute. Mallard should do a comic about baby chicks.

Anyways, I doubt the Dakotas are pure. My cousin's family lives on a reservation (they live and work at a hunting lodge and had elk(or moose?) last fall) and her kids are pissy because the Indian kids can opt out of government-run schooling. Well, duh. The reservations are supposed to be a way of giving them their own soverign nation. And my point about reservations is that they're even more likely to be poor, and the citizens turn to drink or drugs.

So I don't get his usage of North Dakota. Now, if there's someone like Pavel Navrotsky around in North Dakota that we don't know about...

"The fact ... that we have a population with a high rate of AIDS," says Alice Gleghorn.

Always with the gays, isn't it? If California is such a hippy dippy place, how'd they elect the Terminator as governor? The same reason they elected Reagan in the '60s? Because they made movies. Reagan was known for showing up "on time and sober" - that's the only thing good theyhad to say, so he wasn't quite as famous as Ahnold.

I heard about Pavel Navrotsky in The Big Book of Losers and Reagan's reputation around Hollywood in The Big Book of Bad, and they have bibliographies. Or just go to google and search. Which is the proper citation for a college research paper? I'm guessing "look [subject] up on google" isn't the way to go.

Kaitlyn said...

Augh, my cousin's mother lives in Nebraska, not New Mexico. That's where my aunt's mother lives.

And it should say "My half-sister lives in a rural part of eastern Tennessee".

I even hit preview to see if my link worked and I still missed those gems.

Kaitlyn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kaitlyn said...

(This is the post [that] has been removed by the author.. I needed to edit it.)

The Commercial Appeal (Memphis's own daily paper) is doing a special this week on corruption in Memphis. If I recall, Memphis has the most corrupt politicians and cops per capita -actually, the phrase they used was 'pound for pound'. We're more corrupt than New Orleans, ya'll! We're number one! (I need something to cheer about - the Tiger didn't make it past the Elite 8 for the second year in a row.)

Surely Mallard will use that to attack government employees or black people in the future.

I mean, tell us something we don't already know, Mallard. Everyone knows that they're all high as a kite in San Fran, and everyone knows that everyone knows it. So what did he cover, besides making his typical Hollywood Jew-I mean Liberal fly with only one foot and four toes. In animation, it's common to have four fingers - easier to animate or something. The Simpsons have 8 fingers and 8 toes. But this guy has 10 fingers and 4 toes.

And they're the high ones?

tbone said...

Ooooh, thanks so much for finding the link for us. There was no way I was going to search through the past few months of USA Todays to figure out what Mallard was talking about.

andy? said...

how many illicit drug users wear ties?

luke said...

Kaitlyn, I live in North Dakota (although I am currently trying to get the hell out) and yes, between meth and alcohol it has one of the worst drug problems in the nation. It's not full of innocents like Tinsley has apparently imagined.

This whole panel is just too effing ironic for words. People who smoke weed in their bedroom do not pose the same danger as people who get behind the wheel wasted, namely, THE DANGER OF KILLING EVERYBODY.

Kaitlyn said...

That's sad Luke. I hoped someone from North Dakota would come on and tell me I was full of shit. :(

After all, my cousins live in South Dakota, not North.

And I was only going on reports about Meth in the rural south, and the rural north is so different because... um.. you have less black people?

Sorry to hear that I was correct. The 'heartland/flyover' states are not as pure as people would like to think. They're just not on TV or in the movies. Nobody famous lives there. Oh, they came from there, but they don't live there now that they're famous.

But I agree, I worry more about the drug and alcohol (not illegal) use in rural areas... hell, just the alcohol alone, because it's often tinged with anger over the poverty.

The Nebraska town my aunt lives in is not quaint, it is dead.

So underage drinking there... what a shocker.

Wait, Tinsley's from one of the middle of the country states. Doesn't he know this, or has he never been to either Dakota?

Conservative Cartoonist Elitist!

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