What's Mallard raving about today?
Mallard rests his premise on the precarious premise that substance abuse is the exclusive domain of celebrity. In Mallard's world, average Americans do not exhibit the same tendencies towards substance abuse and rehab. Admittedly, the average American may not be able to afford Betty Ford for rehab, but the remainder of that premise is flimsy, at best.
As a side note, I admit I learned something new from Mallard: apparently the kids these days are referring to it as "habbing."