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Saturday, October 13, 2007

That damned Flipping

What's Mallard raving about today?

Reality TV.

With that much text on the page, is it too much to ask for it to make some God damned sense?


BillyWitchDoctor said...

Hey, Michael (yesterday's comments)! Mallard's back in his beanbag again! Scarfing down the usual box of Godknowswhatsis. But now he's wearing a kicky polka-dot shirt! That brings up questions about his sexual orientation!

I'd rant about the strip, but...ehhhhh. Boring McSuckshit.

Michael said...

Mallard's living room is always a depressing scene.

You'd have to assume that not only is Mallard living alone, but has given up hope on changing that situation - in the otherwise barren room, there's a beanbag that seats only one, and a TV a couple feet in front of it. I imagine the rest of the room is littered with empty beer cans, empty pizza boxes, and porn. And he lounges around in that hideous sweater, and no pants. Mindlessly staring at the TV and eating some generic snack every single night. He's supposed to be a respectable newscaster, and he goes home to this scene? Depressing.

12xuser said...

Mallard is supposed to represent the common man. Here he is camped in front of the boob tube with his box of Purina Duck Chow watching this stupid show. How can he complain about the "people who watch these shows"?

Erich said... ARE "the people who watch these shows."

exanonymous said...

I didn't even know or care what house flipping was until Mallard brought it up.

I still don't care about it, but here's a hint: if there's nothing but crap on cable, DON'T PAY FOR CABLE. I avoid reality TV and all the stupidity involved by simply not watching it.

I can't name any besides American Idol and Extreme Home Makeover that I know run this season, and that's only because of the marketing of one and the general warm fuzziness of the other.

How many can Mallard name?

Kaitlyn said...

I spent some time absolutely ADDICTED to HGTV last year (I was in the hospital for a week - military insurance as a dependent closest to "socialized medicine" we'll ever get - and one of the channels was HGTV) and I never saw any show that mentioned flipping a house - I've only seen that on commercials on A&E. (Crossing Jordan, hello.)

In more important news, I just got Stephen Colbert's book! Yay!

Anonymous said...

That messy duck.

BillyWitchDoctor said...

I just saw Sunday's Mallard Fillmore. Way to "support the troops," you gross, revolting little creep. (He's more offended by celebrities and pop music than by the inadequate armor given to soldiers in harm's way.)

If you read comic books at all, the brand new Captain Carrot And The Zoo Crew mini-series from DC Comics (about superheroes in a world of talking funny animals) mentions a duck president who had to step down in disgrace. Guess what his name was.

(Let's see if Tinny hires a lawyer over this.)

Anonymous said...

Hiring a lwayer wouldn't be a good idea. According to, the Zoo Crew Mallard came first.

Anonymous said...

Notice the implication that Mallard (and, by extension, Tinsley) actually loses sleep over what happens on these TV shows.

MartyRotten said...

Actually around 1971 National Lampoon had an Alfred E. Neuman type mascot named Mallard Fillmore as well, predating both Capt. Carrot and Bruce Tinsley. He never lasted beyond the debut issue however.