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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Those damned Official Blacks

What's Mallard raving about today?

Official Black People, Liberals, Justice Clarence Thomas.

Yesterday's Straw Liberal was apparently too realistic, so Mallard had to take this self-revealing idiocy even further.

23 comments:

Matt Ramone said...

I forget, who're the real racists again?

Truce Binsley said...

Aw crap. He's brought back the "if you'd gone to journalism school" line. I complained about that in a previous comment:

http://tinyurl.com/ysva5u

BillyWitchDoctor said...

Hey Tinny, remind me: which side's got a serious black contender for President? And which side locked their own black "joke" candidate (Alan Keyes) out of a debate last campaign? Which party's major current candidates avoided a debate hosted by the NAACP?

Hmmmm?

Mysterio said...

bwd said:

Hey Tinny, remind me: which side's got a serious black contender for President?

What about all the "grass roots support" for Walter Williams? ;)

confused said...

Walter Williams doesn't count. As a white liberal, I've just decided he's not black.

What, with my new found power, I hereby declare that Shaq and Will Smith are no longer black. However, Jason Alexander is.

It's always fun to wake up in the morning and find you have new ways to change the world.

12xuser said...

When are we going to get the strip with the conservative saying that he gets to decide who the Real True Christians are?

Truce Binsley said...

Which Jason Alexander is now black? The Jason Alexander from Seinfeld or the Jason Alexander who was briefly married to Britney Spears?

Anonymous said...

Makes perfect sense. That's why Fox News is always questioning whether Obama is black enough.

Anonymous said...

"Serious black contender for President?" Oh yeah, Al Sharpton, of course, an official Black candidate because he's a Democrat! Sharpton's a genuine black leader but Clarence Thomas isn't. I'm afraid Tinny's got a point today.

Kaitlyn said...

I have decided that Carl, Dr. Hibbert, Hermes, and Carl Weathers are the epitome of the black man.

Adjust your black-o-meter accordingly.

That is all.

This strip pisses me off more than usual, because I went to Civil Rights Museum yesterday for school and it made me cry.

Mallard, here's a Reader Response - I hope your tv debut goes well as a dead duck choking a furry on CSI: Bumfuck.

I'm stressed about papers due next week.

I'm not sure what to do with them, but then again, I haven't gone to journalism school.

Also - Prince is black, Michael Jackson is not. The white liberal is done with her proclamations for now.

tbone said...

I really expected to see an asterisk citing a New York Times headline saying something like "CLARENCE THOMAS: OFFICIALLY NOT BLACK" with a subheadline of "Liberals still undecided on Colin Powell."

Kaitlyn said...

tbone - that would be so cool.

Kaitlyn said...

Er, anonymous, does the name 'Barack Obama' sound familiar?

Also - Stephen Colbert is black, because he doesn't see race.

Kaitlyn said...

I meant 8:36 anon.

Anonymous said...

Oh, "LOL I'M REALLY A COMMIE LIEBERAL LIKE YOU GUYS BUT I'M AFRAID TINSLEY IS RIGHT LMAO" Anon has heard of Obama. He just doesn't consider him black.

(In case you haven't noticed, one of the many many MANY character flaws championed by the GOP is... hypocrisy!)

exanonymous said...

I'm afraid Tinny never has a point. That's what we like about him. He can create a liberal straw man to tear down, but we don't need one.

Clarence Thomas is black. He's the one bearing a chip over success though that makes him so unlikable. He's succeeded because of affirmative action, and yet he wants it removed, but has he tested the system without such? Or was it deep down good enough for him and once done, useless for everyone else?

Matt Ramone said...

8:06 Anonymous, I don't think the point is whether or not Thomas is a black leader. Considering he himself* doesn't think he should take a stand on race issues, he's not really considered a black leader, per se. You can't really make the same argument about Al Sharpton.

*Source - AP

PS - Kaitlyn, let's found the Baby You Got a Stew Goin'! Party. We can put the Hypnotoad up as our Presidential candidate.

ogobhe said...

God knows what tomorrow's Halloween strip will be about.

Kaitlyn said...

Matt Ramone - free brain slugs for everyone!

Or just Mallard.

Kaitlyn said...

"A stew in every pot and a slug on every brain"

Matt Ramone said...

"Brainslugs for all!"
Booooooo!

"Very well, no brainslugs for anyone!"
Boooooooo!

"Hmmmm. Brainslugs for some, miniature American flags for others!"
Yayyyyyy!


As far as this series has been going, I'm surprised Mallard hasn't made reference to this story: http://edition.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/10/18/science.race/index.html?eref=edition

Mallard: A recent report reveals blacks aren't as smart as whites!* (smugly) Maybe it has to do with fried chicken.

*Source - the Nobel committee

Anonymous said...

Hi, it's 8:06 Anonymous again. I just feel like I need to clarify what I said before.

matt ramone, I understand what you were saying, but in my earlier comment I was merely trying to point out Tinsley's hypocrisy in accusing liberals of deciding who's black, when Fox News is doing the exact same thing.

Of course, pointing out that Tinsley's a hypocrite is probably like pointing out that the sky is blue.

Marion Delgado said...

In the Constitution it says along with the power to declare people black or not, "white liberals shall explicitly have the power to declare that Seinfeld's Jason Alexander was married to Britney Spears."

Both Seinfeld and Spears stopped making money after their first year - little known fact - but in both cases their producers had to wait for Supreme Court approval to release them. Since they were both in the Constitution by name.

See what you miss by not actually reading it?