What's Mallard raving about today?
China.
Mallard Fillmore opposes products made in China.
Mallard Fillmore supports the Republican Party, which supports policies that encourage American businesses to ship manufacturing to China.
Mallard Fillmore is a useful idiot.
12 comments:
Woah, woah, woah... so Mallard, are you a liberal protectionist?!
Mallard thinks things made in China are inherently scary? Where the hell has he been for the past several decades?
...Oh, it's cheaper all right, if you're Batshit: Mallard's last Halloween costume suggestion was a sign held across his chest.
And isn't "being cheap" what a Halloween costume is really all about? Don't wear a sheet--just peek through your hands and yell, "Boo! I'm a ghost! Shut up!" (Next month: Why buy a turkey when you can kill a pigeon in the parking lot for free?)
How much you want to bet that Tinsley hasn't proudly waved a US flag made in China in the past?
Also, making your own costume isn't likely to help matters much, since there's still a very good chance that the materials from which you make it come from China themselves.
I'm working on my Bruce Tinshley costume, but I can't make up my mind on the most important part. Cheap whiskey, cheap gin, or just plain grain alcohol?
Me, I think he's just upset because there will never ever be a store-bought Mallard Fillmore costume. If there were, though, you think he'd boycott it if it were made in China?
Mallard's against store-bought costumes because they don't have easy access for his beak. Tin's against them because they don't have easy access for his bottle.
(He'll be staying inside with his porch light off this year anyway, because of the poor reactions he got the last couple of years giving out extra copies of bulk-bought Regnery books.)
Come now, a Bruce Tinsley Halloween costume would be easiest (and cheapest) of all!
Step 1: Stop shaving.
Step 2: Crap in bucket.
Step 3: Wear bucket over head.
Step 4: Bang pan on bucket while screaming nonsense at everyone ("Glenn Beck" brand bullhorn optional).
If you have friends you can skip the first two. It doesn't have to be THAT realistic, it's just Halloween.
I suppose I could try to whip up a real-size Mallard Fillmore hand puppet--which would be funny, as it would require my arm to be all the way up its ass to make it talk--but I could never bring myself to say the ridiculous stuff that comes out of Mallard's beak.
I had to reload the Chron's captcha about 30 times before it showed me one that wasn't also a paid advertisement. If you want confirmation that I've seen your message, you'll pay me for it, and with something more valuable than the opportunity to read a Mallard Fillmore comic.
The 31st time, it asked me to describe the kind of person who uses Zantac in one word. I put "asshole".
Mallard buys Amuriken, not commie China stuff! Commies!
Excuse me while I go hide under my bed from scary China.
So Mallard doesn't shop at Walmart anymore?
"Woah, woah, woah... so Mallard, are you a liberal protectionist?!"
Poor Tinsley, he doesn't even know which side he's on anymore. His brain is finally starting to go.
Has Mallard discovered that China's eating our lunch - thanks to the anti-science, anti-infrastructure, pro-job-exporting GOP (and the right wing of the Democrats)?
It's a bit late but if he really means it, fine with me ... but let's see him follow through. "Trust but verify" ya know!
I'm afraid, DaveyK, that I must respectfully disagree with a comment you made today: Mallard is a useLESS idiot.
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