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Friday, August 17, 2012

That damned Publicity

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Fox

To start, President Obama has to be aware of your existence, and due to your complete lack of relevance and talent...you are out of luck.

11 comments:

dlauthor said...

Another arrest ought to do it, Bruce.

Rootbeer said...

Comma splices aren't good enough for Bruce....

"....My name is President Obama and I eat poo-poo and I like it...."

so he had to invent the "ellipses with an extra dot splice"....

Kaitlyn said...

ow the grammar hurts my head

shouldn't it be "Uncle Jim, who's a little stubborn, has been watching"

wow he got paid for this

CW in LA said...

Remember when in an effort to score some of that free publicity Brews tried to pick a fight with Jon Stewart?

Here he at least shows the self-awareness that there's just not much chance of the prez ever taking notice of his insignificant self. It's gonna take several fifths of research to drown that realization out.

Tog said...

To be fair, Bruce only got himself all flustered because Stewart acknowledged his existence out of a clear blue sky.

After that Tinsley got all delusional about being, like, number one on "Obama's enemies list."

Steve-O said...

Next time on a very special episode of "Look what I imagined the President said when I was on the verge of passing out from doing 'research'"...

rewinn said...

"Wah! No-one's paying attention to meeeeeeeee!"

Frank Stone said...

For the record, this was the entire quote:

"So just in case some of your friends or neighbors or, you know, Uncle Jim, who's a little stubborn and been watching Fox News, you know, he thinks that somehow I raised taxes, let's just be clear: We've lowered taxes for middle-class families since I came into office."*

The Uncle Jim/Fox News crack is funny because it's true, which would make it a joke, not an "attack" -- but since Brucie doesn't understand comedy (or much of anything else, really), it's not surprising that he couldn't tell the difference.

For further edification, here are a few statements which would qualify as "attacks":

"Someone ought to burn that paper [The New York Times] down. Just go to New York and blow that sucker right out of the water."
– Bob Durgin

"What does it say about the college co-ed Susan Fluke [sic] who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid to have sex? What does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex. She’s having so much sex she can’t afford the contraception. She wants you and me and the taxpayers to pay her to have sex."
– Rush Limbaugh

"These broads [9/11 widows] are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arazzies. I have never seen people enjoying their husbands' death so much."
– Ann Coulter

"Our opponent [Barack Obama] is someone who sees America as imperfect enough to pal around with terrorists who targeted their own country."
– Sarah Palin


*And by the way: The event at which Obama made that statement took place five weeks ago. Bruce Timely strikes again!

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

Bruce habitually uses the fourlipsis, signifying that he's made some cuts in the insubstantial dialog. It's like taking a tuck in fuck-all.

Bill the Splut said...

Be easy on Bruce! For the first time, his competence-free job and its Washington Times stipend is threatened!

Pretty much defines "schadenfreude", doesn't it?

CW in LA said...

Rev. Moon is 92, which is actually younger than I would have guessed.

It's really true: Only the good die young.