What's Mallard raving about today?
Martyrbation(n): The pleasure of complaining about being persecuted, when practiced by people who aren't actually being persecuted. Example: in today's "comic", Mallard Fillmore practices martyrbation over Christmas.P.S. Hey DaveyK - is the link to the "comic" busted? No great loss!P.P.S. Take a sec to vote up martyrbation at the Urban DictionaryP.P.P.S. have a happy thanksgiving, y'all!
Shouldn't a colossal meltdown over the results of a certain election be getting started about now? I was really looking forward to a hideous flinging shit-storm of resentment and sour grapes to kick off the holidays. Why does the Tinsh hate Thanksgiving? Besides all those "concerned family members" and "interventions" interfering with his research, I mean.
Whoa. Tinsley really, really socked it to the makers of that imaginary announcement for that special he made up. I'll be surprised if it has the effrontery to show its fictional face around here again, I will.
"Outdated, offensive Christmas specials"? What the Sam Hill is he talking about? When Mallard waxes nostalgic about things that are now "offensive", he generally means "blatantly racist". I can't think of any specials like that and I was a kid in the 1960s, when TV still showed some pretty racist 1930s/40s cartoons. But Xmas specials?Like what? "Rudolph the Klan-Robed Reindeer"? The time that PC "A Charlie Brown Christmas" special replaced "An Eva Braun Kristallnacht"? "Frosty the Militaman"? "Santa Claus is Comin' to Drag Homos Behind Pickup Trucks"?You could write your own, Bruce! How about "How the Gingrich Stole Christmas"!
I take seasonal pleasure in rerunning a song I first wrote back in the last millennium:Freddy the snowman, with his hat of red and greenDidn't look too spry, but my oh myWhat a stone-cold death machine!Freddy the snowman, got most everyone but meWith his eyes of coal and his evil soulOn his chilly killing spree.There must have been a curse uponThat rusty kitchen knife;When Susy put it in his hand,The snowman took her life!(Ow!)Freddy the snowman, was a child molester tooAnd I heard him say, being dragged away,"I'll be back next year for you!"Hackity hack hack, hackity hack hackHacking hard and deep.Stabbity stab stab, stabbity stab stabKills you in your sleep![new lyrics written around 1990. ©2011 by Kip Williams]
"Yes, Vagina, There is a Santa Claus That Legislates What You Can Do With Yours."
"Back in MY day, the TV didn't show 8 hours of a burning yule log! It was 24 hours of burning crosses! THIS is what's wrong with America today! NO TRADITIONAL VALUES."
Bill: if I had to guess what crawled up Tinz' ass and died, I'd say this is War On Christmas horseshit.
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