What's Mallard raving about today?
Barack Obama
Right.
Because Obama was crazy when he suggested Republicans would run a campaign designed to make Americans afraid.
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Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
That damned racism
What's Mallard raving about today?
Racism.
I'd love to take Mallard to task for the bronzed Obama lawn sign, but since his colorists are probably saving their sanity by not paying attention to what they are coloring, I'll suffice it to say: does Mallard really believe lawn signs are that big?
And yes, I am ignoring Mallard's complaints about not being allowed to be as racist as he wants to be.
Racism.
I'd love to take Mallard to task for the bronzed Obama lawn sign, but since his colorists are probably saving their sanity by not paying attention to what they are coloring, I'll suffice it to say: does Mallard really believe lawn signs are that big?
And yes, I am ignoring Mallard's complaints about not being allowed to be as racist as he wants to be.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
That damned Bull
What's Mallard raving about today?
The Stock Market, Campaign Speeches.
Today, Mallard speaks out on a topic that no one else has the bravery to discuss: honesty in election campaign speeches.
We're it not for Mallard, Americans might still believe that politicians were scrupulously honest at all times, in all speeches. But now that Mallard is on the case, the American people are forewarned.
Seriously, Mallard gets paid for this?
The Stock Market, Campaign Speeches.
Today, Mallard speaks out on a topic that no one else has the bravery to discuss: honesty in election campaign speeches.
We're it not for Mallard, Americans might still believe that politicians were scrupulously honest at all times, in all speeches. But now that Mallard is on the case, the American people are forewarned.
Seriously, Mallard gets paid for this?
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Those damned list of things
What's Mallard raving about today?
Barack Obama, Racism.
Dear Mallard,
Regarding your list:
1. Prevailing opinion was that saying "that one" was disrespectful, not racist.
2. Nice timing bringing up Sarah Palin's clothes.
3. Prevailing opinion is that Bill Ayers is irrelevant or has already been factored into people's opinion, that the vitriol and language were completely out of bounds, and that this was an attack on Obama's patriotism, not his race.
Given these factors, we are not paying you today.
Sincerely,
King Features Syndicate
Barack Obama, Racism.
Dear Mallard,
Regarding your list:
1. Prevailing opinion was that saying "that one" was disrespectful, not racist.
2. Nice timing bringing up Sarah Palin's clothes.
3. Prevailing opinion is that Bill Ayers is irrelevant or has already been factored into people's opinion, that the vitriol and language were completely out of bounds, and that this was an attack on Obama's patriotism, not his race.
Given these factors, we are not paying you today.
Sincerely,
King Features Syndicate
Monday, October 27, 2008
Those damned SNLers
What's Mallard raving about today?
SNL, The Election.
Tina Fey said she will be "leaving Earth" if McCain-Palin win the election.
Even when trying to be non-political, Mallard still can't help being wrong.
SNL, The Election.
Tina Fey said she will be "leaving Earth" if McCain-Palin win the election.
Even when trying to be non-political, Mallard still can't help being wrong.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
That damned Hallowe'en
What's Mallard raving about today?
Elitism, Barack Obama.
"Mixed Spring Greens" (in actual quotes). What happened to Arugula?
One Presidential candidate has 8 houses and 13 cars, but Mallard feels the other candidate is the Elitist.
Or, based on the latest polling, he's complaining that over 50% of Americans, those supporting Obama over Blinky McCrankypants, eat food that he does not approve of.
Either way, this is a tired and false premise.
Elitism, Barack Obama.
"Mixed Spring Greens" (in actual quotes). What happened to Arugula?
One Presidential candidate has 8 houses and 13 cars, but Mallard feels the other candidate is the Elitist.
Or, based on the latest polling, he's complaining that over 50% of Americans, those supporting Obama over Blinky McCrankypants, eat food that he does not approve of.
Either way, this is a tired and false premise.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Those damned clowns
What's Mallard raving about today?
Clowns, Federal Employees.
Less than 2 weeks before the most important election in his lifetime, and Mallard spends his time hurling non-specific school ground insults at all Federal Employees. And drawing barely recognizable elephants, as if the clowns were not enough semiotics for his readers to understand that we're supposed to be at a circus.
Clowns, Federal Employees.
Less than 2 weeks before the most important election in his lifetime, and Mallard spends his time hurling non-specific school ground insults at all Federal Employees. And drawing barely recognizable elephants, as if the clowns were not enough semiotics for his readers to understand that we're supposed to be at a circus.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Those damned bloggers
What's Mallard raving about today?
Bloggers, The News.
Apparently Mallard just realized the extent to which blogs like The Drudge Report have driven media narrative for the last decade (e.g., John Edwards haircut).
The only change recently has been the extent to which Progressive blogs have driven the narrative (e.g., Justice Department scandal) and the lack of ability on the part of horse-crap Right Wing smears (Ayers, ACORN) to take hold.
Bloggers, The News.
Apparently Mallard just realized the extent to which blogs like The Drudge Report have driven media narrative for the last decade (e.g., John Edwards haircut).
The only change recently has been the extent to which Progressive blogs have driven the narrative (e.g., Justice Department scandal) and the lack of ability on the part of horse-crap Right Wing smears (Ayers, ACORN) to take hold.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
That damned Tina Fey
What's Mallard raving about today?
Sarah Palin, Tina Fey.
When you are 3 weeks behind the news, this is exactly the kind of commentary you should not make.
Sarah Palin, Tina Fey.
When you are 3 weeks behind the news, this is exactly the kind of commentary you should not make.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Those damned Federal Employees
What's Mallard raving about today?
Barack Obama, Federal Employees.
Rich irony, considering that the Bush Administration turned the Justice Department into the legal arm of the Republican National Committee, a role it continues to play in this election.
Barack Obama, Federal Employees.
Rich irony, considering that the Bush Administration turned the Justice Department into the legal arm of the Republican National Committee, a role it continues to play in this election.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Those damned lawmakers
What's Mallard raving about today?
Congress, the Bailout.
Mallard Fillmore, otherwise known as Confessions of a Tiny, Tiny Mind.
Argue however you want about the bailout, but it takes a special type of blind idiocy to suggest that preventing the financial system from melting down represents not "thinking about" the taxpayers.
But given that Mallard's ability to grasp complex issues boils down to: if it affects my taxes and/or the government was involved, I hate it, it's hardly a surprising take on it.
Congress, the Bailout.
Mallard Fillmore, otherwise known as Confessions of a Tiny, Tiny Mind.
Argue however you want about the bailout, but it takes a special type of blind idiocy to suggest that preventing the financial system from melting down represents not "thinking about" the taxpayers.
But given that Mallard's ability to grasp complex issues boils down to: if it affects my taxes and/or the government was involved, I hate it, it's hardly a surprising take on it.
Monday, October 20, 2008
That damned Bailout
What's Mallard raving about today?
The Bailout, Taxpayers.
There was a lot of disagreement about the form the bailout should take, general disgust/disbelief at the idiotic first suggestion by the Bush Administration, and lingering doubt about its final form.
Until today, however, I couldn't name anyone who believed we should do nothing. I couldn't name anyone who wanted to watch the financial system disintegrate.
Enter Mallard...
The Bailout, Taxpayers.
There was a lot of disagreement about the form the bailout should take, general disgust/disbelief at the idiotic first suggestion by the Bush Administration, and lingering doubt about its final form.
Until today, however, I couldn't name anyone who believed we should do nothing. I couldn't name anyone who wanted to watch the financial system disintegrate.
Enter Mallard...
Sunday, October 19, 2008
That damned Hallowe'en
What's Mallard raving about today?
Barack Obama.
Mallard, we understand that you prefer politics that "breeds division, and conflict, and cynicism" over having a black man become President.
The horse crap sanctimony about how Barack Obama is the racist is about as convincing as John McCain telling all of us that he's not running a negative campaign.
Barack Obama.
Mallard, we understand that you prefer politics that "breeds division, and conflict, and cynicism" over having a black man become President.
The horse crap sanctimony about how Barack Obama is the racist is about as convincing as John McCain telling all of us that he's not running a negative campaign.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Those damned politicians
What's Mallard raving about today?
The Bailout Plan, Politicians.
Odd. Even-handed criticism, a grain of truth, not totally unfunny.
Is it guest author day at King Features Syndicate?
The Bailout Plan, Politicians.
Odd. Even-handed criticism, a grain of truth, not totally unfunny.
Is it guest author day at King Features Syndicate?
Friday, October 17, 2008
That damned News
What's Mallard raving about today?
Barack Obama, NBC News.
Without granting this baloney premise, which is not supported by facts...
Barack Obama, NBC News.
Without granting this baloney premise, which is not supported by facts...
I'm John McCain and I approved all 24 hours of Fox News broadcasting.How does that saying about glass houses go, Mallard?
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