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Monday, August 04, 2008

That damned Stella

What's Mallard raving about today?

Beer, Barack Obama.

If you wanted to make the case that Barack Obama is an elitist, you'd end with "...of my Stella Artois."

If you wanted to make the case that you are a talentless hack who doesn't know when the point has been made and just keeps vomiting forth stuff until the page is full in the hopes that something will be worthwhile, you'd add "And what is a 'Budweiser' anyway?" You'd also make sure to emphasize the word "is" because otherwise the sentence wouldn't make any sense...or something...I guess.

20 comments:

GeoX said...

Jesus Christ is Tinsley ever a worthless little toady. Is ANYONE pushing this moronic "élitism" thing as hard as Tinsley? Has there EVER been a more witless attempt at driving home a meme? "Haw haw! That Hoosane Osama feller knows about a funny-soundin' vejtible! Real murcins don't know nothin bout vejtibles! Were dumberanna holinaground! Vote McCain!"

But seriously: Tinsley's point here is that it would be somehow élitist of Obama to drink a furrin beer that you can get fucking anywhere? Really? I suppose it would have required effort on his part to come up with an ACTUAL obscure, hifalutin drink--and that's time that he could productively spend passed out in his own vomit! The choice is clear!

factinista said...

Most normal Americans stopped being shaken by the news after a few seconds.

So for the next three months, we'll basically have "event from two weeks ago + Obama's an elitist lol" for every joke. Why do people think this is funny again?

GeoX said...

I'm pretty sure nobody actually thinks its funny. Right-wing operatives like Tinsley think, or hope, that it'll be useful, but that's about it. Another reason why he's a fucking hack: he's not even TRYING to be funny; just to build up a narrative.

Anonymous said...

I'd probably rather have a beer with Obama than McCain. Just saying.

factinista said...

Believe me, I know people who do find MF funny. Whether it's genuine amusement or simply desperation due to the total lack of real conservative humor is debatable.

Kaitlyn said...

I remember not caring about the beer thing, only thinking that it was funny that my sister and her friends had been at the St. Louis park/brewery shortly before the announcement was made. I'm sure they're responsible.

It was only funny on the Colbert Report.

This doesn't even try. I watch shows on Disney. I know when they at least try.

Anonymous said...

stella Artios is an Inbev product. another beer would not have made sense. (neither does the joke, really.)

Kaitlyn said...

Anon - If that's not an accident, and he's not lazy, then he's implying that Obama bought Anheuser-Busch.

Why does Mallard hate capitalism?


Question about beer in general - does it taste better than it smells? (under drinking age here!)

Anonymous said...

#10, #21, #24

dlauthor said...

Brucie, you're not "shaken" by the news. You just have the DTs again.

And I'm sure McCain and his incredibly rich trophy wife are always pounding back the Buds. Same with Bush, and hell, every goddamn politician who isn't in the middle of an election-season "I'm reg'lar folks jes' like y'all" pander-fest.

Michael said...

I'm a beer elitist, and Stella is not an elite beer. Bonus points if he were drinking a Stone "Arrogant Bastard".

Michael said...

And the beer Obama is holding looks like cough medicine, or possibily Red Stripe - drinking either would definitely not be elite.

ianrey said...

The thing is, one candidate is affected by the Inbev deal much more than the other. McCain will personally (or at least, through community property) net a couple million through the stock sale. That's because his trophy wife is an heiress to a multi-million dollar company which owns tens of thousands of stock shares in Anheuser-Busch, and earns $50,000-$100,000 per year in dividends alone. I'm sorry, you were talking about elitism?

GeoX said...

I'd like to see video of someone actually being presented with an MF cartoon and laughing out loud at it before I concede that such people exist.

rewinn said...

Kaitlyn ...since you're under age, I'm compelled to say "No, it tastes terrible, stay away!!!!"

Once you're 21, observe this simple rule:

Never drink a "lite beer". If you want fewer calories, drink a glass a water, then have a real beer, instead of mixing them in a factory and calling it "lite".

Michael ... you're right about Stella being a non-elite beer. It may be overpriced, but it lacks that key ingrediant of elite beers: taste! OTOH Tinsley has probably never gone near a microbrew since everyone knows that leads to liberalism.


ianrey ... good point on the money side of the deal. McCain's constantly overcompensating for his gigilohood.

Robert said...

Don't panic, Bruce. Even after the merger, Budweiser will still contain alcohol.
Fun summer drink tip: if you're feeling adventurous, try drinking Bud from something other than an ashtray.

Gold-Digging Nanny said...

Michael -- Arrogant Bastard is one of my favorites! Delirium Tremens, too. (The beer, not the explanation for Tinsley's poor drawing skills.)

Ianrey -- great point!

Kaitlyn -- I concur wholeheartedly with rewinn. When you turn 21, stay away from the light beers. And stay away from Bud, Coors, Hamms, Icehouse and the like. (My dad gave me a sip of his Hamms when I was a kid. Probably one of the reasons I was never tempted to drink beer before I turned 21.) Believe it or not, not all beers even smell the same, let alone taste the same. When you're of age, there's nothing wrong with easing your way in with a chick beer like Pyramid Apricot Ale. If you like it, eventually you'll want to try sampling several different styles of beer. Find out whether you like light-colored beers like india pale ales or pilsners, or dark beers like porters and stouts, or something in between, anywhere from a blond to an amber or a nut brown ale. (I tend to prefer from ambers down to the dark end of the spectrum.) Once you've tried a few, color often gives you a good rule of thumb for what you're probably going to like (although it can be fun to experiment with whatever name catches your eye -- I picked up on Arrogant Bastard and DT solely because of the names). Most important -- know your limits and have friends along who'll watch out for you!

exanonymous said...

Am I elitist because I don't drink beer at all?

And I don't even do it for moral/religious/criminal record reasons.

I just don't like beer, and it seems an awful waste to dedicate my life to drinking a beverage that I don't think tastes good.

Scanman said...

I always imagine that a presidential candidate will make the "mistake" of drinking a microbrew and be called an unamerican elitist. This despite the fact that microbrews are small businesses made right here in America.

As far as beer is concerned, variety is the spice of life.

john said...

The only thing lamer than Mallard's jokes are people who think they're better than others because they drink fancier beer. I hate that.

Once and for all - food and drink are 100% entirely subjective and preferences in those areas reveal nothing about the people who hold those preferences.