What's Mallard raving about today?
The economy, Christmas, Santa Claus.
So, faced with a tighter budget, Dad tells his son that Santa Claus died? I suppose that is par for the course, in terms of needless cruelty, in Mallard-land.
Seems a bit excessive to me. And not funny, but that goes without saying.
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"...Oh, and about the gifts. You won't be getting any this year, because your Mom and I really don't love you."
What's the over/under on the number of fruitcake* comics we'll see this holiday season?
I think Tinsley is going to tie himself in a rhetorical knot with his discussions of Christmas this year. I mean, after all, if people dial back the traditional crazed consumption because of a lack of discretionary income, then isn't that "market forces" at work? (See, ideologues are not rying to bring down Christmas, it's your precious free market. How do you deal with that?)
Plus, if Tinsley wants to see the public as being bereft of any true "Christmas spirit", just consuming robots decrying the lack of a giant plasma TV under the tree this year by cruelly killing Santa for their children, then, then...well, I hope he drowns in his eggnog.
*I do literally mean fruitcake the "food", not strips that are "nutty as a fruitcake".
Another in a recurring series of "Corrected Comics Stripts".
[Replace dialog in the second ballon]:
"Timmy, I think this would be a good time for us to have a little chat about the Bush/Rove economic policies and it's effect on Christmas this year...."
(Granted, no more funny than the current strip, but certainly less "elitist" --to use a favorite Mallard word-- in that it reflects an activity that many actual people will be engaging in, in one way or another, out here in the real world.)
Toots - It seems to me that, by spending a week portraying Christmas as the Season of Greed and of Lying to Children, Tinkley is now officially waging war against Christmas.
After being treated to this weird Funky Winkerbeanesque universe, I have high expectations about how condescending the final Jesus cartoon will be.
I read cutbacks as outbacks, and thought they were like shopping in the wilderness, gathering the family's presents. But that made no sense.
Seriously Santa's dead? In the Sunday funnies? Couldn't you say Santa's having budget problems, or there were so many good kids this year, you may not get enough, blah blah blah.
"...Santa's dead? In the Sunday funnies? ...
While at first I thought "Santa's dead" was a bit of a downer for the holidays, I predict it's just a set-up for Mallard, Funky Winkerbean and all the comics that didn't get invited to Blondie's 75th Anniversary will unite for A Very Special Christmas Special:
"You Rotten Kids Killed Santa With Your Constant Whining!"
(VW: "asennipp" - (a special sort of frostbite caused by sitting down in the outhouse at 40 below.)
rewinn,
Actually, Mallard DID get invited to the Blondie 75th anniversary!
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/fun/Blondie.asp?date=20050904
On the right side, next to Curtis
Attention all kids reading the Sunday funnies: Santa Claus is really your parents.
Love,
Bruce Tinsley
Tinsley believes that everyone should ignore his comforting fantasies and superstitions and start working. Anyone who demands happiness yet less than $500,000, is, according to Tinsley, a Communist.
Note that even though God and the afterlife are, essentially, disproved myths, Tinsley still clings too them. How ironic that Tinsley clings to guns and religion!
Sorry, Santa can no longer afford your size XXXXXL hats.
Also, Santa will be spending some money on a paternity test to see where that f*$@# blonde hair came from. Then we'll see who's been naughty or nice.
Blondie's 75th Anniversary is interesting, but did anyone else notice that everyone there is smiling except Mallard? Even at such a festive event, Mallard can't help but be a grump. Even Garfield is more chipper!
Excuse me but I am OFFENDED at all you chatters who use the "c word" around here instead of "Holidays"
furthermore, I want the background of this page to be a gigantic taxpayer funded MENORAH, stat
you can add a Muslim crescent and the frontspiece to "The God Delusion" if you wish.
Christmas! Gone! First 100 Days! - Barack Hussein Obama-Ayres
"pslump" - the noise tinz made in november.
"poterfou' - a fancy French way to say bottle flu when you're talking with your syndicate.
But why stop there?
You've already killed off Santa, why not make it REALLY stick in the kids' minds?
"Sorry, son, but maybe if had studied harder at your failing public school, or not eaten that jellied cranberry sauce, Santa would still be alive to watch the college football fuck up yet another playoff."
So much potential for venting ALL your hate figures, Ducky, and you use a lame, generic economy joke? Tsk. What would Reagan think of you?
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