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Sunday, December 21, 2008

That damned date

What's Mallard raving about today?


It's December 21st, Mallard.

The fact that it is the last Sunday panel before Christmas is no excuse when the plan is to draw a gray pudding-like landscape and a star.


confused said...

I'm willing to take this. The writing is good (it's not his), the artistry is pedestrian at best (but does not include an offensive caricature or shots of a duck's nether regions), and there is the lack of any rant. The only perfect gift would have been a closing statement of "It was fun, but now I retire..." (Then again, I'd miss this place!)

exanonymous said...

Hmm. God loves Mallard.

And Mallard repays him by hating liberals, women, kids who wear their pants too low, Obama, Hillary, McCain, Jon Stewart, PC-people, government workers, and everybody who is not American and most of those who are.

NotannonNotcow said...


Rebochan said...

To be fair, I mean, to play Devil's Advocate, most the comics today were Christmas wishes of some sort.

I feel dirty having stuck up for this man. I will now go shower a hundred times in ablution.

12xuser said...

Gee, thanks a lot, God, for your intolerable compliment. Those of us who suffer from disease, hunger, depression, and oppression by those who make life miserable in your Holy Name really appreciate it, in a tragic, inexorable sense.

What a load of feel-good twaddle.

Robert said...

There is no God but God. His messenger is the Prophet Mallard.

word verification: abskin.
My abskin is stretched tightly over my diamond-hard washboard stomach.

Anonymous said...

I'm guessing this is for the papers that carry Mallard on Sunday but not the rest of the week.

Still, funny how it turns out that Tinsley can turn in a good strip when there's nothing going on, nothing difficult to draw, and he uses someone else's words.

GeoX said...

Given Tinsley's non-stop whining about the pettiest shit imaginable, his seething hatred of anyone different than him, and malicious distortions and out-and-out lies about his political enemies--given all this, I say, fuck you too, Mallard. You can't do all this every day of the year and then expect all to be forgiven or forgotten, however temporarily, because it's holiday time and you decide to get all pious for a few seconds. Go to hell.

MartyRotten said...

What a terrible misuse of a wonderful writer like C.S. Lewis.
I'd like to see a strip where Aslan eats Mallard Filmore for a Christmas feast.

Michael said...

I wish God had paid Tinsley the intolerable compliment of symmetrical star-drawing ability.

Anonymous said...

Why are there people hiding under a rug? Or is it the Carpet Monster from "The Creeping Terror"?

Kaitlyn said...

Wanna know what's really sad?

There's a 50/50 chance we'll get a Merry Christmas, Poor Persecuted American Christians!

He's incredibly tame if you just read the Sunday strips.

Tame and boring.

Anonymous said...

I have not been here for two months. I check MF every day, but not at this blog.

After seeing today's strip I thought, no way can the liberals who hang out at this blog find anything wrong with this.

You people are sick. GeoX needs his ass kicked, a total asshole who is bitter with his life. You people must have very pathetic lives.

What is your problem, your "boy" won, the liberals will now be in charge of this country. I would think this would make you happy. Are any of you ever happy with anything?

confused said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
confused said...

Sorry, Obama winning did absolutely nothing to improve Tinsley's artistic/comedic abilities; so yes, we still rant about Mallard.

rewinn said...

"Christmas Is Pain" --- surely, Tinkley gives us the saddest Christmas wish of all.

But one that is completely consistent with the last dozen or so "comics".

His quotation from C. S. Lewis is pretty funny, if you know the backstory. Lewis and his ilk had been confronted with the usual problem of academics who feel the need to reconcile Christianity's factual claims with history and reason; it can't be done. Christianity was sewn together from bits and pieces over the course of centuries and doesn't really have even internal consistency ... (?but so what? that's not really its function.)

Lewis had labored long and mightily to construct an elaborate intellectual construct reconciling it all (including the important problem of "pain", that is, how can a loving omnipotent & omniscient God permit pain ... the answer is that it's good for us LOL!) but, on its first presentation at Oxford, it was thoroughly demolished ("ass kicked" as AnonyTinsley would say) by a fellow scholar who was not only merciless, but had committed the unpardonable sin of being female.

The Original Sin, you might say.

Lewis went home and composed a parable in which a coldhearted bitch tried to kill God and pervert the children, but was defeated because when God lets you kill him, it's not for keeps.

Narnia is a delightful fairy-story in seven short volumes ("The Silver Chair" is the very best; it actually poses a serious moral problem) but, as the only achievement likely to endure, must have been a great disappointment to old C.S.

And Mallard's quotation? I doubt he understands it at all, but it's surely a most depressing explanation of the season.

Johaely said...

This is one of those few days in which we are not directly exposed to Mallard's,(and by extension Tynsley's)notable misanthropy. I hope this last until, january, so that we don't have to listen to any "New Year's Resolution".

andy? said...

anon- how is a moderate winning a good thing for liberals specifically rather than everyone in general?

oh noes!!! now maybe people will have jobs and america will finally have the respect of the rest of the world, wouldn't that be just fucking terrible?!
you say geox needs to have his ass kicked for choosing to voice his opinion... very American of you with your thinly veiled racism.

and another thing anoncoward, why the fuck are you at an anti-mallard blog if you love mallard so fucking much? do you just love debating strangers with ignorance?

sorry about the length everyone else

john said...

I know I've popped up here occasionally, basically saying the same thing, but it bears repeating: the fact that newspapers publish this strip is an absolute insult to so many talented artists out there. The artwork in this cartoon strip is so lazy that it is embarrassing.

Erich said...

And in consecutive sentences, Anonymous goes from calling other people "sick" to wishing an act of physical violence to be visited upon someone for disagreeing with him. Now that's "sick."

Anonymous said...

Hey, who among us hasn't gotten really loaded, then turned to the barfly on the next stool and said "I love you, man"?

This is just the cartoon equivalent of beer goggles... he'll be back (with a headache) to hating tomorrow.

Merry Chrishmash, Tinshley...