What's Mallard raving about today?
Republicans
Most of what they say should land them in a lunatic asylum.
It's a sad comment on the Republican Party that, instead, they appears on televised "debates".
Project Wonderful Banner
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Those damned Novels
What's Mallard raving about today?
Mayans, Novels
Mallard Fillmore: Would rather the world come to an end that be forced to read a book.
Mayans, Novels
Mallard Fillmore: Would rather the world come to an end that be forced to read a book.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
That damned Bumper Sticker
What's Mallard raving about today?
Coexistence
This makes absolutely no sense. In the metaphor Mallard is attempting, all herbivores would be equally easy to target.
Pretty much all I can parse out of this is that Mallard is a petty ass hat who manages to be offended by bumper stickers.
Coexistence
This makes absolutely no sense. In the metaphor Mallard is attempting, all herbivores would be equally easy to target.
Pretty much all I can parse out of this is that Mallard is a petty ass hat who manages to be offended by bumper stickers.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
That damned Butt Call
What's Mallard raving about today?
The First Amendment
Thus proving that, like many of Mallard's "strict constructionist" cohorts, he doesn't even faintly understand the Constitution he pretends to revere.
The First Amendment
Thus proving that, like many of Mallard's "strict constructionist" cohorts, he doesn't even faintly understand the Constitution he pretends to revere.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
That damned Devil
What's Mallard raving about today?
Voters
Considering both the humor and insight on display today, Mallard Fillmore could have gotten the same result by simply posting a wordless picture of a duck head.
Voters
Considering both the humor and insight on display today, Mallard Fillmore could have gotten the same result by simply posting a wordless picture of a duck head.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Those damned Ears
What's Mallard raving about today?
Kim Jong Un
I guess Mallard's going to spend all of 2012 making predictions.
It's also probably a safe bet all of 2012 will exhibit the same juvenile sensibility on display today.
Seriously, Mallard. Didn;t you give up schoolboy insults when you left the third grade, like the rest of us?
Kim Jong Un
I guess Mallard's going to spend all of 2012 making predictions.
It's also probably a safe bet all of 2012 will exhibit the same juvenile sensibility on display today.
Seriously, Mallard. Didn;t you give up schoolboy insults when you left the third grade, like the rest of us?
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
That damned Logo
What's Mallard raving about today?
President Obama
Is Mallard Fillmore really complaining that President Obama appears on TV? I mean, he is the leader of the free world, but that's no reason for News outlets to cover him.
President Obama
Is Mallard Fillmore really complaining that President Obama appears on TV? I mean, he is the leader of the free world, but that's no reason for News outlets to cover him.
Monday, January 23, 2012
That damned Grant
What's Mallard raving about today?
Anthony Weiner, NEA
Bringing up Anthony Weiner simply indicates there's nothing really to complain about...which won't stop you from trying, of course.
Anthony Weiner, NEA
Bringing up Anthony Weiner simply indicates there's nothing really to complain about...which won't stop you from trying, of course.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
That damned Rodent Day
What's Mallard raving about today?
Rodents, Holidays.
Someone's over-compensating for missing various patriotic holidays over the years, methinks.
Rodents, Holidays.
Someone's over-compensating for missing various patriotic holidays over the years, methinks.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Those damned Explosions
What's Mallard raving about today?
Hiring, Smoking
On this hand...a desire to avoid second-hand smoke, a desire to inform people of the dangers of smoking, and a desire to pass legislation to discourage a behavior which is know to kill people.
On this hand...hiring practices which discriminate against people engaging in a 100% legal behavior.
And on this wing...a duck who can't distinguish between the two.
Hiring, Smoking
On this hand...a desire to avoid second-hand smoke, a desire to inform people of the dangers of smoking, and a desire to pass legislation to discourage a behavior which is know to kill people.
On this hand...hiring practices which discriminate against people engaging in a 100% legal behavior.
And on this wing...a duck who can't distinguish between the two.
Friday, January 20, 2012
That damned Santorum
What's Mallard raving about today?
Rick Santorum
I'm not sure name recognition is Santorum's problem, at least not in the traditional sense of the phrase.
In other Santorum news, congratulations on winning in Iowa!
Rick Santorum
I'm not sure name recognition is Santorum's problem, at least not in the traditional sense of the phrase.
In other Santorum news, congratulations on winning in Iowa!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
That Damned Title
What's Mallard raving about today?
Kim Jong Un
Mallard, you draw a cartoon Duck (badly), mangle the English language, and make no sense despite feeling as if you are the spokesperson for America and/or Conservative America.
You're hardly in a position to criticize people with delusions of grandeur.
Kim Jong Un
Mallard, you draw a cartoon Duck (badly), mangle the English language, and make no sense despite feeling as if you are the spokesperson for America and/or Conservative America.
You're hardly in a position to criticize people with delusions of grandeur.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Those damned Kids
What's Mallard raving about today?
Kim Jong Un
Mallard Fillmore's view of Foreign Policy remains as nuanced as ever.
Kim Jong Un
Mallard Fillmore's view of Foreign Policy remains as nuanced as ever.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
That damned Rhetoric
Whats Mallard raving about today?
Republican debates
Republican candidates have some freaky non-human hands, there.
Republican debates
Republican candidates have some freaky non-human hands, there.
Monday, January 16, 2012
That damned Facial Expression
What's Mallard raving about today?
Mitt Romney
Jeez, Mallard. You can't even draw the letter "o"? Even for you that's a new low.
Mitt Romney
Jeez, Mallard. You can't even draw the letter "o"? Even for you that's a new low.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Thad damned Clone
What's Mallard raving about today?
Wooly Mammoths, the 1%
Mallard has completely bought into the Fox Propaganda talking points that this is about an entitlement or a desire for everyone to have equal wealth as opposed to everyone wanting a fair shot.
Wooly Mammoths, the 1%
Mallard has completely bought into the Fox Propaganda talking points that this is about an entitlement or a desire for everyone to have equal wealth as opposed to everyone wanting a fair shot.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
That damned Mammoth
What's Mallard raving about today?
Congress, Taxes, Wooly Mammoths
Based on the fact that it will be the only Wooly Mammoth in existence, it will be part of the 1% so Congress will give it a tax break, is what I think you mean.
In other news...Mallard Fillmore decided he needs a significant raise in 2012. Unable to increase his income, he reduces the hours he spends "working" so his hourly rate goes up. The quality of his strip decreases, but only slightly, since there really wasn't much room to get worse in the first place.
Congress, Taxes, Wooly Mammoths
Based on the fact that it will be the only Wooly Mammoth in existence, it will be part of the 1% so Congress will give it a tax break, is what I think you mean.
In other news...Mallard Fillmore decided he needs a significant raise in 2012. Unable to increase his income, he reduces the hours he spends "working" so his hourly rate goes up. The quality of his strip decreases, but only slightly, since there really wasn't much room to get worse in the first place.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Those damned Departments
What's Mallard raving about today?
The USPS
Once more, Mallard, The USPS is not breaking and/or losing stuff with any regularity for anyone but you.
I leave it to you to come up with a logical explanation.
The USPS
Once more, Mallard, The USPS is not breaking and/or losing stuff with any regularity for anyone but you.
I leave it to you to come up with a logical explanation.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
That damned Discrimination
What's Mallard raving about today?
Asian-Americans, Discrimination, Civil-Right Community
Uh, Mallard...the article in question is about how some people don't check the box indicating their Asian race because they think it puts them at a disadvantage in college admissions.
Now, I know in your tiny, tiny lizard brain (tinged as it is by a certainty that Christians, Conservatives, and Whites are unfairly disadvantaged and discriminated against in every single human endeavor, a certainty based exclusively on the your feeling that it must be true) this is proof.
But, for those of us with intellects which developed after the 2nd grade, the articles doesn't actually offer any specific proof the discrimination is real.
Asian-Americans, Discrimination, Civil-Right Community
Uh, Mallard...the article in question is about how some people don't check the box indicating their Asian race because they think it puts them at a disadvantage in college admissions.
Now, I know in your tiny, tiny lizard brain (tinged as it is by a certainty that Christians, Conservatives, and Whites are unfairly disadvantaged and discriminated against in every single human endeavor, a certainty based exclusively on the your feeling that it must be true) this is proof.
But, for those of us with intellects which developed after the 2nd grade, the articles doesn't actually offer any specific proof the discrimination is real.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Those damned Bikers
What's Mallard raving about today?
Occupy Wall Street
Mallard fantasy that Occupy protesters get the shit kicked out of him is bleeding over into his comic.
Occupy Wall Street
Mallard fantasy that Occupy protesters get the shit kicked out of him is bleeding over into his comic.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
That damned Sandwich
What's Mallard raving about today?
The Election
So, I guess Mallard is trying to say that pretty much anyone can beat President Obama, which may or may not be true.
What's impossible to credit, however, is the idea that a Grilled Cheese Sandwich could possibly engender more unforeseen Constitutional questions than a Black man winning the Presidency did among Right Wingers.
The Election
So, I guess Mallard is trying to say that pretty much anyone can beat President Obama, which may or may not be true.
What's impossible to credit, however, is the idea that a Grilled Cheese Sandwich could possibly engender more unforeseen Constitutional questions than a Black man winning the Presidency did among Right Wingers.
Monday, January 09, 2012
That damned Word
What's Mallard raving about today?
Words
Ordinary Americans, who need a break not a lecture, are being lectured about proper usage from a waterfowl with only rudimentary language skills.
But, for what it's worth, Mallard. The word awesome lost its meaning long ago.
And, it's January 9, for crying out loud, stop with the psychotic New Year's fixation.
Words
Ordinary Americans, who need a break not a lecture, are being lectured about proper usage from a waterfowl with only rudimentary language skills.
But, for what it's worth, Mallard. The word awesome lost its meaning long ago.
And, it's January 9, for crying out loud, stop with the psychotic New Year's fixation.
Sunday, January 08, 2012
That damned New Year's
What's Mallard raving about today?
Baby New Year
A week after NewYears, Mallard brings us a New Years message.
Baby New Year
A week after NewYears, Mallard brings us a New Years message.
Saturday, January 07, 2012
Those damned Pears
What's Mallard raving about today?
BCS
However, as Mallard pointed out recently, all of College Football must be completely disavowed, because of Penn State.
BCS
However, as Mallard pointed out recently, all of College Football must be completely disavowed, because of Penn State.
Friday, January 06, 2012
Those damned Names
What's Mallard raving about today?
Fannie Mae, Freddy Mac
This just in, Mallard reports things which haven't changed as if they were news, lending further credence to the idea that his "job" exists only in his own mind and his newscasts occur from his parent's basement.
Fannie Mae, Freddy Mac
This just in, Mallard reports things which haven't changed as if they were news, lending further credence to the idea that his "job" exists only in his own mind and his newscasts occur from his parent's basement.
Thursday, January 05, 2012
That damned Post Office
What's Mallard raving about today?
The Post Office
I only trust studies from the Fillmore Foundation. These "analysts" of which you speak are probably communists.
The Post Office
I only trust studies from the Fillmore Foundation. These "analysts" of which you speak are probably communists.
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
That damned Guess
What's Mallard raving about today?
Guessing
On the evidence of roughly 2000 Mallard Fillmore strips, today's strip is true. A random dude in a bar is far more likely to have a better guess at virtually any topic than Mallard.
I'm not sure that's what Mallard was getting at, but as he hasn't seen fit to provide any means for deciphering, we'll go with literal reading.
Guessing
On the evidence of roughly 2000 Mallard Fillmore strips, today's strip is true. A random dude in a bar is far more likely to have a better guess at virtually any topic than Mallard.
I'm not sure that's what Mallard was getting at, but as he hasn't seen fit to provide any means for deciphering, we'll go with literal reading.
Tuesday, January 03, 2012
That damned Volt
What's Mallard raving about today?
Chevy Volt
Mallard hates the Chevy Volt for reasons known only to watchers of Fox.
Chevy Volt
Mallard hates the Chevy Volt for reasons known only to watchers of Fox.
Monday, January 02, 2012
Those damned Drones
What's Mallard raving about today?
President Obama, Iran, Drones
For a party that wants us to bomb Iran, Republicans are awful dainty about losses over Iran's airspace.
President Obama, Iran, Drones
For a party that wants us to bomb Iran, Republicans are awful dainty about losses over Iran's airspace.
Sunday, January 01, 2012
Those damned Jobs
What's Mallard raving about today?
Mallard Fillmore starts 2012 pretty much where he spent 2011: People without jobs are hilarious!
Mallard Fillmore starts 2012 pretty much where he spent 2011: People without jobs are hilarious!
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