What's Mallard raving about today?
Global Warming.
Mallard Fillmore: Though I have no understanding of science whatever, the fact that I am a useful idiot for corporate interests (who, incidentally, do not have my best interests at heart) gives me the chutzpah to comment on science.
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Saturday, January 15, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Those damned Clintons
What's Mallard raving about today?
President Clinton
On the evidence, former Democratic Presidents stay in the limelight for using their stature to do things that benefit humanity while former Republican Presidents retreat to their estates and just live out their lives with no further human contact.
Oh and (yawn) Hillary is going to (yawn) challenge Obama for the (zzzzzzzzzzz)
President Clinton
On the evidence, former Democratic Presidents stay in the limelight for using their stature to do things that benefit humanity while former Republican Presidents retreat to their estates and just live out their lives with no further human contact.
Oh and (yawn) Hillary is going to (yawn) challenge Obama for the (zzzzzzzzzzz)
Thursday, January 13, 2011
That damned Fix
What's Mallard raving about today?
Education, Taxes.
I don't seem to recall these huge increases in Education spending to which Mallard refers.
I do recall No Child Left Behind, which altered the focus from teaching children to preparing them to takes tests to which funding levels are tied.
Of course, being Bush Administration policy, that could not possibly bear any of the blame for poor test scores.
Education, Taxes.
I don't seem to recall these huge increases in Education spending to which Mallard refers.
I do recall No Child Left Behind, which altered the focus from teaching children to preparing them to takes tests to which funding levels are tied.
Of course, being Bush Administration policy, that could not possibly bear any of the blame for poor test scores.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Those Damned Liberals
What's Mallard raving about today?
Teabaggers, Liberals.
Keep people so agitated that they shoot more Liberals between now and the next election and you may just be right.
But it still doesn't make you right...or smart.
Teabaggers, Liberals.
Keep people so agitated that they shoot more Liberals between now and the next election and you may just be right.
But it still doesn't make you right...or smart.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Those damned Presbyterians
What's Mallard raving about today?
Presbyterians, Nigerians (and pretty much anyone not white)
It's amazing how often I get to say this on this blog, but, once again: Nice timing.
Interesting also is how White Americans who commit acts of terror are always lone nutjobs whose politics and religion have nothing to do with their acts of madness.
Not true of Nigerians, Saudis, Afghans, or Syrians...wonder what's behind that?
Presbyterians, Nigerians (and pretty much anyone not white)
It's amazing how often I get to say this on this blog, but, once again: Nice timing.
Interesting also is how White Americans who commit acts of terror are always lone nutjobs whose politics and religion have nothing to do with their acts of madness.
Not true of Nigerians, Saudis, Afghans, or Syrians...wonder what's behind that?
Monday, January 10, 2011
That damned (cough!) (cough!)
What's Mallard raving about today?
Naked People, TSA.
I was too sick (with some sort of plague distributed at CES) to get out of bed, let alone read Mallard Fillmore.
Feel free to snark in retrospect.
Naked People, TSA.
I was too sick (with some sort of plague distributed at CES) to get out of bed, let alone read Mallard Fillmore.
Feel free to snark in retrospect.
Sunday, January 09, 2011
That damned BCS
What's Mallard raving about today?
The BCS.
We interrupt your usual whinging for Mallard's annual whinge about the BCS.
We''l be back to our usual whinging momentarily.
The BCS.
We interrupt your usual whinging for Mallard's annual whinge about the BCS.
We''l be back to our usual whinging momentarily.
Saturday, January 08, 2011
That damned Tush
What's Mallard raving about today?
President Obama, The Media.
Wait a second, if President Obama is emulating President Bush, how is that he's also an Islamofacist Socialist Marxist Usurper, born in Kenya, who is hell bent on weakening America by not bringing on a global Financial Armageddon?
President Obama, The Media.
Wait a second, if President Obama is emulating President Bush, how is that he's also an Islamofacist Socialist Marxist Usurper, born in Kenya, who is hell bent on weakening America by not bringing on a global Financial Armageddon?
Friday, January 07, 2011
That Damned Codes
What's Mallard raving about today?
Speech Codes, US Universities.
Standard Mallard Fillmore Poetic Structure:
This structure is used in lieu of actual thought, content, or a salient point. Oh and there should be no meter or rhythm of course.
Speech Codes, US Universities.
Standard Mallard Fillmore Poetic Structure:
- Dog Whistle
- Straw Man
- Statement of Victimhood
- Mantle of Patriotism
This structure is used in lieu of actual thought, content, or a salient point. Oh and there should be no meter or rhythm of course.
Thursday, January 06, 2011
That damned Compromise
What's Mallard raving about today?
President Obama
What's sort of funny, in a desperately unfunny way, is that Republican opponents grossly characterize President Obama as an intransigent tyrant who is reshaping the United States into some sort of Socialist state. Democratic opponents, by contrast, grossly characterize President Obama as a spineless who negotiates with himself and us largely unwilling to fight for anything.
Neither is true, of course. But as is usually the case, at least the Democratic characterization is not totally unhinged from reality and instead moored to Fox Reality.
President Obama
What's sort of funny, in a desperately unfunny way, is that Republican opponents grossly characterize President Obama as an intransigent tyrant who is reshaping the United States into some sort of Socialist state. Democratic opponents, by contrast, grossly characterize President Obama as a spineless who negotiates with himself and us largely unwilling to fight for anything.
Neither is true, of course. But as is usually the case, at least the Democratic characterization is not totally unhinged from reality and instead moored to Fox Reality.
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
That damned Pop Tart
What's Mallard raving about today?
Pop Tarts.
For those who have long wondered what young starlet, the so-called Pop Tart, so enflames Mallard's passions, we can now reasonably surmise that he has a thing for Lindsey Lohan.
And, in Mallard World, this is doing wonders for her career. Of course, as we all know, in Mallard World everything is pretty much the opposite of whatever he says, so...
Update: Changed the date, will try to get to today's comic at some point.
Pop Tarts.
For those who have long wondered what young starlet, the so-called Pop Tart, so enflames Mallard's passions, we can now reasonably surmise that he has a thing for Lindsey Lohan.
And, in Mallard World, this is doing wonders for her career. Of course, as we all know, in Mallard World everything is pretty much the opposite of whatever he says, so...
Update: Changed the date, will try to get to today's comic at some point.
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Those damned Huns
What's Mallard raving about today?
President Obama, Huns.
Because when you think of Attila, you think of caving in. And when you think of the Democratic Base, Huns immediately spring to mind.
And early but strong contender for the Worst Metaphor in 2011.
(Note, for future reference, that Mallard is not bleating about the increase in deficit the compromise represents.)
President Obama, Huns.
Because when you think of Attila, you think of caving in. And when you think of the Democratic Base, Huns immediately spring to mind.
And early but strong contender for the Worst Metaphor in 2011.
(Note, for future reference, that Mallard is not bleating about the increase in deficit the compromise represents.)
Monday, January 03, 2011
Those damned Fans
What's Mallard raving about today?
Reality TV.
Which of the following is more hypocritical on the part of Mallard Fillmore?
Reality TV.
Which of the following is more hypocritical on the part of Mallard Fillmore?
- Writing something like this when Mallard feels that "average, hardworking Americans need a break instead of a lecture".
- Arguing against the Free Market when it comes to TV he purportedly doesn't like.
- Criticizing people for their TV habits when he seems to spend at least 50% of his daily strips plopped in front of the TV.
- Pretending this is not actually expressing a deep-seated self-loathing regarding his own guilty TV pleasures.
Sunday, January 02, 2011
Saturday, January 01, 2011
Happy New Year!
What's Mallard raving about today?
New Year's Eve.
Mallard believes companies throw New Year's Eve Parties.
Let that information provide context for Mallard's grasp on reality for the rest of 2011.
New Year's Eve.
Mallard believes companies throw New Year's Eve Parties.
Let that information provide context for Mallard's grasp on reality for the rest of 2011.
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