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Friday, January 14, 2011

Those damned Clintons

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Clinton

On the evidence, former Democratic Presidents stay in the limelight for using their stature to do things that benefit humanity while former Republican Presidents retreat to their estates and just live out their lives with no further human contact.

Oh and (yawn) Hillary is going to (yawn) challenge Obama for the (zzzzzzzzzzz)

14 comments:

Tog said...

It clearly burns Batshit's ass that Bill Clinton remains active in politics, and remains incredibly popular, despite being the Antichrist and all that.

Meanwhile, Junior Bush has released "Decision Points" to reviews that range from pity to bellicose laughter that it's an actual book rather than a two-page pamphlet with crayon pictures.

ajm said...

Next week it will have been a full decade since Clinton concluded his Presidency. And Tinsley still can't quit him.

Anonymous said...

In that case, debates between Hillary and you-know-who would be very interesting, particularly on the subject of foreign policy.

Rootbeer said...

We all know that Bruce doesn't understand how ellipses and scansion work, but the ignorance of capitalization is something I've just noticed.

If we categorize the letters in this "poem" as upper or lowercase based on glyph shape, and not relative size or placement, then it reads:

I RESOLVE tO StAy iN tHE SPOTLiGHT....
AND iF THINGS WORK OUT WELL, I JUST MIGHT....
..BE HERE ON yOUR T.V....
...WHEN My WIFE, HiLLARy....
...WiNS tHE 2012 PRIMARy FiGHT.

This is how schizophrenics write. I particularly like the inconsistent capitalization of the I's and T's.

Kip W said...

I see somebody's resolution was to cheap out the first month of the year with one single, crappy drawing surrounded by repeating clip art and clubfooted verse that must have taken longer to letter than it did to write.

Kaitlyn said...

Oh, so that's how we were supposed to read it. I could not figure out anything but the first and last lines.

Wait - are these supposed to be limericks? AABBA?

Oh lord.

rewinn said...

On the plus side, this appears to be the first "Mallard Fillmore" in weeks expressing a positive emotion.

Otherwise: the lazy drawing and cr@ppy writing (as y'all noted) is totally overwhelmed by the stupidly incompetent layout. In a panel, humans read left-to-right and then up-and-down, in a Z shape, completely spoiling the intended order of reading today's "comic".

dlauthor said...

Don't lower the bar on Drinky's account, rewinn. He's being a smug, snide choad here. If that's a positive emotion, then Rush Limbaugh's downright jolly, rather than the karmic black hole he truly is.

Save the assessment of positivity for the next time Tinshley's genuinely happy about something, like if there's a Veronica Mars marathon on or he gets his license back.

Neo Tuxedo said...

In the immortal words of Mark Twain on Belton Townsend, "Let us hope there is a Hell, for this poet's sake, who carries his bowels in his skull and when they operate works the discharge into rhyme and prints it."

WV: arduck. Mallard on September 19.

MartyRotten said...

Bruce Tinsley's Resolution:

I resolve to do even still more
bad episodes of Mallard Fillmore.
And ever be snide,
and always deride
liberals who I want to kill more.

Okay, it's not great but it's better than the Vogon poetry that Tinsley's been foisting upon us for the past two weeks.

James Murton said...

I hope Clinton's not on our TVs, if only because I don't think I can stand another month of duck crotch.

Tog said...

Side note: long, long ago, when Batshit wanted to convince everyone he didn't hate black people, he used to praise Stumblin' Michael Steele as the guy who would save the Republican Party, bringing fiscal and moral responsibility to Washington.

Well, that's all over. Links tend to make my posts disappear now, but Talking Points Memo has a review of Steele's embarrassing "gaffetastic" reign in the RNC.

How'd things work out, Batshit?

DiR said...

LOLOLOL HILLARY IS AMBITIOUS!!!!!!!

It just burns your ass that Clinton was the most popular president in the past two decades, doesn't it? Hell, if people weren't dumb enough to fall for Reagan's folksy charm act (well gee golly, I shore nuf had no idears that my administration was SELLING WEAPONS TO IRAN TO FUND SOUTH AMERICAN DEATH SQUADS!), he would be the most popular President since Kennedy or FDR.

Sorry, high treason makes me punchy.

Madpuppy said...

@DiR-

Also, despite what the conservatives would have you believe, Ronald Reagan did not leave office with the highest approval ratings of the late 20th century, Bill Clinton did. (and Clinton's were rising in the last few months of his term, while Reagan's were falling.)

And 2 years into his first term, Obama's ratings are higher than Reagan's were at the same point.