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Sunday, January 30, 2011

That damned Question

What's Mallard raving about today?

Himself, The Media, Unemployment.

Hey kids, remember how Mallard was unemployed? Well, he still is apparently, although he spent all week bitching about stuff rather than looking for a job.

But don't worry, it's not his fault. It's because he's conservative. Or because Gays will be allowed to openly serve in the Military. Or something...frankly, his logic is kind of hard to follow.

But suffice it to say you fucking hippies are to blame for something!


Factinista said...

Or maybe, just maybe, Mallard could try to separate his politics from unbiased journalism? Nah.

Tog said...

Let's see; Mallard was a conservative* commentator in the mainstream media for years--just as long as Batshit's been a beneficiary of the sort of thinking that someone needed to "balance out" Doonesbury. Mallard only got fired because of some nonsense Batshit ginned up that bears no resemblance to reality.

Ergo: Mallard and Batshit are full of it. (Yeah, shocking, I know.)

...And of course the average corporate media conglomerate has absolutely NO patience with wrong-wingers. It's not like they have whole NETWORKS devoted to spinning lies or anything!

This is like listening to some actor who became a "9-11 conservative*" and then lost half their friends because nobody wants to hear their psychotic rantings. The instant their career starts to wane, they bawl that it's not because they're washed-up hams, but because they're unafraid to speak the truth about ____s, _____s, and especially those goddamn _______s and their conspiracy to control America!!!11

(Oh, hi, Patricia Heaton and Dennis Miller, we were just talking about you.)

*Ha ha, not even close. Neither Batshit nor Mallard nor any "9-11 conservative" would understand a real conservative value if it bit them on the balls.

Bill the Splut said...

Juan Williams. Iraq War. "Why do you hate America?" Socialism! "Some people say..." Birthers. Tea Party. Breitbart. There's yer librul media!

If wingnuts stop pretending that they're not an oppressed minority but really an oppressive tool of corporations, their selfish and prejudiced worldview just collapses. So they keep lying to themselves and the world.


Kip W said...

Right-wingers can't let go of martyrbation: it's all they have.

They'll only do it until they require glasses. Dark glasses. And a cane. And a dog.

DiR said...

Silly Mallard.
They aren't refusing to hire you because you're conservative.
They're refusing to hire you because you won't shut. up. with your obnoxious, bitter, self-pitying persecution complex.
See, you're like this:
except you aren't doing it to be funny.

rewinn said...

A reporter and a pundit are two different things.

In the same way that a doctor's diagnonsis of your condition does not depend on whether he's a Libertarian or a Communist, a reporter's description of current events does not depend on whether he quacks left or quack right.

That's different from a pundit, editorialist, etc. The inability of Mallard, Tinshley, Fox "News" and the reichwing media in general to understand this distinction or to put it into practice is the secret humor behind today's "comic".

Brucey: we're not laughing WITH you. We're laughing AT you.

ajm said...
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ajm said...
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ajm said...

Note to Bruce: The long-term unemployed might also "need a break instead of a lecture."

Frank Stone said...


Oh, but thanks for that genuine knee-slapper in panel 2, Mallard. Thinking you've done journalism -- priceless!