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Sunday, September 02, 2007

Those damned essays

What's Mallard raving about today?


This reads literally as an indictment of children as dangerous free spirits. Which would definitely be the most curmudgeonly interpretation possible.

But it's hard to believe this isn't just another in a long string of indictments of the school system. Although that requires us to believe that, despite the fact that Mallard decries education standards, he views the lack of running and playing in the classroom, and preventing wanton trips to the bathroom to escape class as a flaw in the education system.

Of course, I doubt anyone actually cares which of those it is; what really matter is the question of how long he plans to keep up this rant?


exanonymous said...

My older sister and I loved to go to the library from the time we could read (or listen to books on tape). We told our teachers so.

They were not offended, afraid, or even surprised. The only care they showed was the positive supportive sort.

To answer the question: until he is placed in charge of all public education. Or until he retakes elementary school and realizes that students and teachers are smarter, more tolerant, and generally happier than him.

BillyWitchDoctor said...

Using a pencil the size of a dil--um...a Coke bottle, and hanging his tongue out the side of his mouth, Rush seems less like the voice of FREEEEDOM!!1 than...well, the pathetic idiot he was named after.

I went to the bathroom went I wanted! I felt alive!

Oh Lord, Tinny's basic problem suddenly reveals itself like a brown smear across white tile. I never knew potty training could traumatize someone so.

Man, my teachers would've been thrilled if a student was that excited about writing! (...Less enthusiastic about abstract filler meant to eat up space on the paper. Name one of those books, Rush. Did you breathe the air of freedom outside, or did you breathe it watching cartoons and FOX News all summer? Did you ever "feel like it" without taking your pants down?)

nkfweh said...

Most people grow out of the whole FUKK SKOOL thing soon after they graduate.

Oh wai

Kaitlyn said...

I read books I wanted during the summer... I read books I wanted during the school year too, along with whatever else was assigned.

The teachers were always thrilled.

I was quiet when I finished working.

Going to the bathroom when you want - meh. If it's an emergency, they'll let you go.

No, what sucks about school (and jobs) is having to get up before the crack of noon.

Who the hell thinks of the bathroom as something... anything... worth writing about - especially an elementary school student!

Kaitlyn said...

As for your question - until he dies.

Mallard may be canceled one day, but he'll keep saying it.

Larry Craig said...

It's important to be able to go to the bathroom whenever you want.

Kaitlyn said...

A more important question - why is the teacher's mouth open?

12xuser said...

If it were any other strip, it would just be your standard "compared to vacation, school sucks" cartoon, and who can disagree with that? However, given Mallard's antipathy towards that kind of hippie mentality, I don't know how to interpret this.

It is hard to believe that an elementary school student would think of his school as a "mire of mediocrity". Then, contrasting mediocrity with freedom is just incoherent.

I'd like to see him make the same point about getting up and going to work every goddamn day of your life.

dlauthor said...

Tinshley doesn't know what it's like to have to get dressed in the morning and go to a job. He rolls over, grunts, scribbles a duck on a napkin and shuffles off in his bathrobe to find a bottle of Jim Beam without any chunks of puke floating in it.

Anonymous said...

I'm curious about these "books that were actually interesting" as I found that I was often stuck reading "Dead White Men" books, even in middle school. I can't imagine old Tinsley is implying that those books are boring. Of course, in Tinsley's imagination, I'm sure the public school reading lists are all lesbian memoirs and diverse fiction.