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Wednesday, May 28, 2008

That damned coffee

What's Mallard raving about today?

Coffee, Red States, Blue States.

One little indefinite article and you have Comedy Gold.

All at the expense the elite...which is a pretty hypocritical remark coming from a member of the Party of Ungodly Wealth and the Preservation of Wealth at the Expense of Everyone Else.


ajmilner said...

If how different people describe drinking coffee is the greatest trauma Mallard's currently enduring, he's living a charmed existence.

ajmilner said...

I suppose all those Iraq vets with PTSD can stop with their self-indulgent, petty sniveling in the face of the continued unmitigated horrors which constitute Mallard's day-to-day life.

It sucks to be him.

Starshark said...

I can't work out if the liberals are the ones who have 'coffee' or if they're the ones who have 'a coffee' explain it to me Bruce I need your guiding light to show me the way.

nsunqid said...

Needs a third panel that just says HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

12xuser said...

Or maybe states where the president is "evil" vs. "an evil".

Where do they say "have a coffee"?

dlauthor said...

Why are there three completely different badly drawn ducks in this strip? Why does Mallard lose his hat and change color repeatedly? Is Tinshley so far gone now that he can't even keep his characters straight from one panel to the next?

Kaitlyn said...

So Mallard acknowledges that starbucks have spread beyond the liberal elite.

But it's how you refer to your daily caffeine jolt that determines what kind of person you are.

And I don't drink coffee.

Randall said...

dlauthor: Why are there three completely different badly drawn ducks in this strip? Why does Mallard lose his hat and change color repeatedly?

Mallard had the brown acid?

My first thought on looking at the art: that duck is trippin'

Then I read the text: 'coffee' versus 'a coffee' ha-ha-ha!

Definitely, that duck is trippin' on something.

Dave Robidenza said...

What next, we'll separate the good old patriotic Americans from the dirty commies by whether they order "pop" or "soda"?

Of all the pointless crap that has wormed its way into the political process, this obsession with a candidate's palate as Rorschach test is the most trivial and useless, especially considering that any politician who gets to national prominence has pretty much left his man of the people credentials behind a long time ago. Who cares if Candidate X chows down on hog jowls and Pabst if he then hops on his private jet to whisk him away from the good common folk?

sourbelly said...

All I can figure is this:

Red State Small Town Wholesome Diner--
"Sumpin' t' drink, honey?"

Blue State Starbucks--

"What'll you have?"
"A coffee."

Except, there are diners in Blue States and Starbucks in Red States. So, I guess I just don't get this at all.

GeoX said...

Is this the most inane, petty thing Mallard's ever whinged about? Almost unbelievable.

Celia said...

Which is which and who the hell cares? Also, where does "a cup of coffee" fall on the scale? Oh god, I outed myself as a foreigner!

exanonymous said...

Only in America would you have elite = bad.

It's wrong to make money and be intelligent and a leader. Unless you're a conservative. Then you just do the first thing, and pretend to be an everyday guy.

This nation would go a lot further if intelligence determined suitability for office, not just money.

Me, I have "no coffee" so what does that make me?

ianrey said...

" Now even as we speak, there are those who are preparing to divide us, the spin masters and negative ad peddlers who embrace the politics of anything goes.

Well, I say to them tonight, there's not a liberal America and a conservative America; there's the United States of America.

There's not a black America and white America and Latino America and Asian America; there's the United States of America.

The pundits, the pundits like to slice and dice our country into red states and blue States: red states for Republicans, blue States for Democrats. But I've got news for them, too. We worship an awesome God in the blue states, and we don't like federal agents poking around our libraries in the red states.

We coach little league in the blue states and, yes, we've got some gay friends in the red states.

There are patriots who opposed the war in Iraq, and there are patriots who supported the war in Iraq.

We are one people, all of us pledging allegiance to the stars and stripes, all of us defending the United States of America." Barack Obama

It hardly needs to be said, Tins lives in the obsolete America of the past, and revels in the divisive, polarized politics of the 20th century. The rest of us are moving on; we will try and wait for you to catch up.

Anonymous said...

Do people actually say "a coffee"? I live in a notoriously liberal city in a very blue state and have never heard it.

Andrew said...

This is where illustrations could help. If one had been accompanied by a Strabucksian styrofoam cup and the other by a good ol' honest mug o' joe , even us poor ignorant foreigners would have got the joke.

Not directly related, but it puts me in mind of a British writer who was very disappointed with how literal his American friends were about indefinite articles. They'd take him out for "a beer", and insist on leaving after one.

Marion Delgado said...

This is so Tinsley'd up it deserves a new prize category.

Least important Fillmore Whine.

Anonymous said...

Earth to Tinsley: Whiskey Charlie Foxtrot, over.

Anonymous said...

Correction: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over.

David Weisman said...

What Mallard needs is a plot. Instead of having to try and keep the strip going via speeches to an invisible audience, characters should live, grow old, and die like in Doonsbury. Rupert Murdoch is taking over the station where he works. At last Mallard thinks he'll have his day in the sun, but he gets laid off. It's not that Murdoch has anything against ducks, he just doesn't believe in affirmative action, and waterfowl-Americans have been protesting how he never defends their habitat, so Murdoch can kill two ducks with one stone. He applies for a job with Fox news - but they say he's too liberal.

GeoX said...

I could be misremembering, but I feel like in the early days--yes! My local rag ran MF from day one!--Tinsley at least gestured towards actually sorta kinda having characters and storylines of sorts--not very highly-developed ones, certainly, but I think he might have been making some minimal effort. But now, alas, inertia has set in, and all we get is incoherent, fragmentary, barely-comprehensible rage flung indiscriminately leftward.

Starshark said...

anonymous said...

Correction: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over.

Correction again: Whiskey whiskey whiskey. Out.

Regular Guy Rockefeller III said...

Yeah, damn those elites! Rich snobs are always deomcrats. Whoever heard of a snobby, pampered, wealthy, private school, fancy-coffee-drinkin' Republican?

Andrew said...

You know what else is good about this - Mallard's looking very smug in that last panel. As if he's saying something along the lines of "You know why I'm looking so smug? It's because an arbitrary cultural signifier means I'm [i]better[/i] than you. You elitist.