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Thursday, March 26, 2009

Golden Ellipses: Ray Bolger Award for Invention in Straw Men

Oops, I forgot to finish this up! And the winner is...

Obama Voters are Dumb!

The Nominees for the Ray Bolger Award for Invention in Straw Men are:
  • Smug and Superior - "So many voters" think this, do they? I suppose it must be true, of course, since your caricature of Senator Clinton agrees.
  • Off Limits - Given that voters don't seem to care about any of these criticisms, perhaps I can criticize President Obama for declaring criticism off-limits. The fact that this is simply a product of my fevered imagination is no impediment.
  • Straw Jesse - It would be so cool if Jesse Jackson didn't support President Obama! I can't let the fact that it is not true stop me.
  • Obama Voters are Dumb! - Need proof? Just listen to the Obama supporter I invented. He totally confirms my worst suspicions.
  • Ahmadinejad's Candidate - You would not vote for a candidate supported by President Ahmadinejad, would you? Well, let me tell you who he supports.


plonste said...

It is literally impossible to choose.

rewinn said...

What I loved about "Off Limits" is how it assembled a team of straw men (Obama has FRIENDS! he has a WIFE!!!!) and combined them ... like some demented Power Rangers monster ... into the Devastating SuperMegaStrawManOTron!!!

Also noted: the topics of Iraq, the economy, or anything else important to the future of America ... were not of interest to Mallard.

Anonymous said...

It's super close between Off Limits! and Dumb! Off Limits! certainly contains the sheer volume of making-stuff-up, but on the other hand, Dumb goes the extra mile to LITERALLY fabric a man for which to make a fake argument.

Jazzbumpa said...

It's off limits for me. I find the combination of arugula and gutterballs to be simply irresistable.

WV: moded, as in What Mallard is out-

Michael said...

I like "Straw Jesse" because Jesse Jackson literally cried when Obama got elected. However, my vote goes to "Dumb!" because it's made of 100% pure distilled straw.

NotannonNotcow said...

Wow. What a collection. I'm going with "Off Limits." And rewinn, it would be a SuperMegaStrawManAZord. (My son is at the age where he's "into" Power Rangers.)

BakaHoushi said...

I vote, instead, that we create a new term for the drunk duck: Crazy Strawman, for when his argument goes every which way to avoid having to face reality.

12xuser said...

I have to give it to Straw Jesse, because first he makes up a straw problem, then he puts straw words into Jesse's mouth to prove it. Two strawmen in one!

wavydavy said...

Gotta go with Off Limits! simply because of the volume of stupidity, with extra panels for extra nonsense because is was a Sunday strip.

I mean, "tweezers"?! Really? Aside from the fact that Obama never indicated that anything was off-limits (unlike, say, Caribou Barbie), would he really say "tweezers"? Then again...

WV: binger (honestly!) -- do I really need to add anything to that?

As someone suggested a while ago, even the WV seems to be sending messages regarding the strip and/or its author.

rewinn said...

Thanks, NotannonNotcow, for the "zord" update.

IIRC the Mallard Fillmore movie features Mr. Noseworthy, ugly-NOW-woman, Hillary Clinton, Al Gore and the Compact Florescent Bulb joining together into LiberalZord! It plots to put Karl Marx in the White House, beats up on D.T.'s sidekick Token Minority Kid, and kidnaps his girlfriend Chantel.

All seems lost until D.T. finds a Magic Crayon that turns him into a duck.

Watch for it!