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Sunday, March 29, 2009

That damned Average Guy

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Bailout, Average Guys, Congress.

No, Average Guy. No you may not have a bailout.

Those Republicans you put in office because President Bush seemed like a "regular guy" screwed you over when they eliminated sensible regulations for financial institutions, allowing those institutions to treat Wall Street like Las Vegas, except that they kept all the wins while your 401k absorbed the losses.

Next time, don't be such an idiot when you vote.

Oh, and given Mallard long history of spite towards "Average people" it's highly amusing for him to suddenly cast himself as their spokesduck.


Factinista said...

Another possibility is that he lives in a state with a GOP governor who refused stimulus money. Which means it's just going to go somewhere else.

GeoX said...

As I've probably noted before, he's able to simultaneously despise and champion "average people" because he doesn't have anything that could be considered a coherent political philosophy--he'll say anything to bash whatever he perceives as "liberal" or "Democrat," and if the best way to do that involves contradicting what he said five weeks or five seconds ago--not a problem!

Michael said...

I'm a little tired of the "why doesn't X get a bailout too?!" jokes. Some things in life just aren't fair; especially when the banks are facing systemic risk. It's like a child complaining that their brother got taken out for ice cream and they didn't, just because he went to the hospital again.

fuckreagan said...

Michael, your simile, only, works if one brother is a billionaire and the other wallows in poverty while the former laughs at the latter and forces him to do his work.

Tinsley, you cannot have this both ways. We know you hate anyone who is not rich and a worshipper of your heroine, Ayn Rand so do not claim to be some sort of hero of the working men.

BakaHoushi said...

Maybe it's just me, but when I think "average American" I don't think "hard working" "family man" "pays taxes on time" or any other myths he wants to portray. I think of ignorant, wasteful, thrice-divorced salary men whose only dreams involve getting a bigger TV/house/car/penis who would also screw most people over for monetary gain given the opportunity and whose apathy helped put us in this mess as well.

Now that's not to say that I think foreigners are better (we're all people and people, for the most part, are the same everywhere). Or that I think ALL Americans are like this. Or that I think the "average" American (a term that makes the statistician in me cry) is wholly to blame for the economic breakdown. Nor do I claim to not exhibit none of the problems I listed above. But I am merely pointing out that the very notion that there is somehow this pure, wholesome, perfect, hardworking, and honest middle class, making up the majority of the country, who is 100% innocent of any and all blame and is merely being victimized by "elite" "liberal" wallstreet/congressional fat cats is, at best, ignorant, and at worst, willfully ignorant of reality.

dlauthor said...

Tinshley A: Where's my money waaaaaaah.

Tinshley B: Regulating financial markets = teh eeeeevil.

Someone needs to sew both these guys into a bag and throw them in a river, along with Tinshley C, otherwise known as "Anonymous."

wavydavy said...

I have to agree with BakaHoushi here. It is so utterly tedious, and completely wrongheaded, for politicians, talk-radio hosts, wingnuts, Tom Brokaw, et al. to posit this paragon of virtue, morals, common sense, and good ol' wonderfulness known as the "average man" (sometimes referred to as the "common man").

This results in such nonsense as "The Greatest Generation", wherein all the good things (defeating Nazis, expanding the economy, going to school on the G.I. Bill, etc.) were all "done" by the "Greatest Generation", but all the bad things (racism, McCarthyism, etc.) just sort of "happened", without the existence of an active agent.

WV: tholynit. "Holy shit!" as pronounced by Tinkley when he's in his cups.

rewinn said...

This would not have happened if Walter Williams had won in November!!!

Anonymous said...

Sorry to bring facts into this, but the Glass-Steagall Act was repealed by the Senate by a vote of 90 to 8 and by the House by 362 to 57. And Bill Clinton signed the repeal into law. So it wasn't just "those Republicans" who got us into this mess, by any stretch of the imagination. Only a handful of Ds and Rs opposed the repeal, most of them thinking it was a great idea.
''The concerns that we will have a meltdown like 1929 are dramatically overblown,'' according to Senator Bob Kerrey, Democrat of Nebraska.

''If we don't pass this bill, we could find London or Frankfurt or years down the road Shanghai becoming the financial capital of the world,'' said Senator Charles E. Schumer, Democrat of New York. ''There are many reasons for this bill, but first and foremost is to ensure that U.S. financial firms remain competitive.''
Darn that NY times for keeping archives!

BakaHoushi said...

By no means was I attempting to insinuate that democrats are free of guilt in this mess. To even attempt to point fingers at this point is childish and mostly bullshit ("Finger pointing solves nothing, [i]STEVE[/i]").

Robert said...

I agree that members of both parties are culpable for this mess. After all, in 1998 we were only 2/3 of the way through our 30-year failed experiment in supply-side economics and deregulation.
The difference today is that only one party seems willing to reverse the mistakes.

rewinn said...

Since AnonyTinkley didn't even try to relate today's trolling to today's "comic", in the spirit of his non sequiturs, let me introduce
Darrin Bell's take on Steele

Anonymous said...

What, does Ducky think that Congress has some sort of speakerphone hot-line?

exanonymous said...

Logic time!

Some suppose the following:
Bush has kept us safe all these years with his strong stance of terrorism. We have not had a single terrorist attack on American soil since 2001.

What are the chances that for logically consistency, they also believe the following?:
Bill Clinton has kept us safe all these years with the repeal because none of the listed places are financial capitals of the world replacing the American currency as dominant.

exanonymous said...

bleh, *logical*

rewinn said...

exo- I love it!

"Bill Clinton kept us safe from financial terrorism after Glass-Steagal's repeal!"

Now if I can only get it short enough for a bumpersticker!

(p.s. did you notice that there have been NO terror attacks on American soil during Obama's ENTIRE presidency?)