What's Mallard raving about today?
Valentines Day.
Example of truly exceptional writing ability: 17 words in the panel and two of them are "actually."
Depite the overuse of that word, doubtless meant to convice the reader that this is something which really happened, the story is still not funny, interesting, and only underscores that Mallard is an idiot who is unable to recognize junk mail when he sees it.
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Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
That damned Obama
What's Mallard raving about today?
Barak Obama, Hillary Clinton.
You gotta hate folks who come to the political spotlight without hard work. Folks who come to prominence by marriage, or, say, birth.
Barak Obama, Hillary Clinton.
You gotta hate folks who come to the political spotlight without hard work. Folks who come to prominence by marriage, or, say, birth.
Monday, February 12, 2007
That damned Hillary
What's Mallard raving about today?
Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama.
Whereas a Valentine is usually an expression of affection or friendship from one person to another, a Mallentine appears to be a self-evident statement of no particular insight, import, or wit, set to an irregular rythym and sophomoric rhyme scheme, apocryphally attributed to a person in straw man fashion.
In case you were wondering...
Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama.
Whereas a Valentine is usually an expression of affection or friendship from one person to another, a Mallentine appears to be a self-evident statement of no particular insight, import, or wit, set to an irregular rythym and sophomoric rhyme scheme, apocryphally attributed to a person in straw man fashion.
In case you were wondering...
Sunday, February 11, 2007
That damned St. Valentine
What's Mallard raving about today?
Valentine's Day.
I have to confess that I am not sure why Mallard wears his unsenimentalsm like a badge of honor. Because, in truth, it seems more like just being an asshole that taking a faux-principled stand on an idiotic non-issue.
The winning detal in this particular panel is his use of the phrase "that stuff" to reference back to things which have not been previously mentioned. Unless Mallard is planning to purchase smarts, beautifulness, and smell, of course.
And yet, I am a big fan of this panel, if only because it marks a respite from the Walter Williams "plotline".
Valentine's Day.
I have to confess that I am not sure why Mallard wears his unsenimentalsm like a badge of honor. Because, in truth, it seems more like just being an asshole that taking a faux-principled stand on an idiotic non-issue.
The winning detal in this particular panel is his use of the phrase "that stuff" to reference back to things which have not been previously mentioned. Unless Mallard is planning to purchase smarts, beautifulness, and smell, of course.
And yet, I am a big fan of this panel, if only because it marks a respite from the Walter Williams "plotline".
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Those damned newsrooms
What's Mallard raving about today?
A newsroom near you, the media, black conservatives, liberals (presumably) , sraw men.
Well, that straw man has certainly shown me the light. I'm a changed person; I will never listen to the media again because, apparently, they don't know any conservatives.
A newsroom near you, the media, black conservatives, liberals (presumably) , sraw men.
Well, that straw man has certainly shown me the light. I'm a changed person; I will never listen to the media again because, apparently, they don't know any conservatives.
Friday, February 09, 2007
Those damned disappointments
What's Mallard raving about today?
A newsroom near you, himself.
Okay, idiot duck, let's be clear about this.
You never threatened Walter Williams with a flood of emails or anything else. You said you were going to threaten him. But you never actually threatened him. Instead, you published the man's email address without warning of any kind after giving him 3 days to announce his candidacy for President.
I can't even find the strength to comment on the fact that Mallard thinks anyone, anywhere, cares what he has said or done this past 2 weeks...except us, of course.
A newsroom near you, himself.
Okay, idiot duck, let's be clear about this.
You never threatened Walter Williams with a flood of emails or anything else. You said you were going to threaten him. But you never actually threatened him. Instead, you published the man's email address without warning of any kind after giving him 3 days to announce his candidacy for President.
I can't even find the strength to comment on the fact that Mallard thinks anyone, anywhere, cares what he has said or done this past 2 weeks...except us, of course.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Those damned skeletons
What's Mallard raving about today?
Walter Williams, Howard Dean, skeletons in the closet, murder, molesting interns, Bill Clinton (obliquely).
Mallard hits the trifecta. Abortion joke...check. Slavery joke...check. Pedophilia joke...check.
Still, you have to admire Mallard for the total dishonesty of this panel. Note how he deliberately muddles the Mark Foley scandal (in which underage interns were preyed upon by a Congressman) and the Monica Lewinsky scandal (in which President Clinton had consensual sex with an adult intern).
He's also probably referencing President Clinton with the murder reference, unless you doubt that Mallard believes Bill Clinton murdered Vince Foster, probably with his bare hands.
Walter Williams, Howard Dean, skeletons in the closet, murder, molesting interns, Bill Clinton (obliquely).
Mallard hits the trifecta. Abortion joke...check. Slavery joke...check. Pedophilia joke...check.
Still, you have to admire Mallard for the total dishonesty of this panel. Note how he deliberately muddles the Mark Foley scandal (in which underage interns were preyed upon by a Congressman) and the Monica Lewinsky scandal (in which President Clinton had consensual sex with an adult intern).
He's also probably referencing President Clinton with the murder reference, unless you doubt that Mallard believes Bill Clinton murdered Vince Foster, probably with his bare hands.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Those damned slaves
What's Mallard raving about today?
Walter Williams, The D.N.C., the Black Vote.
I suppose if you need to top an abortion joke, a straw man joke involving slavery is about your only option.
Walter Williams, The D.N.C., the Black Vote.
I suppose if you need to top an abortion joke, a straw man joke involving slavery is about your only option.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
That damned scream
What's Mallard raving about today?
Walter Williams, Howard Dean, waffling, Iowa.
Even if I were to grant that syndicated columnists were prevented from waffling by their paper trail (a claim which I do not grant), based on the fact that Mr. Williams directly compared environmentalists to mass-murdering communists, I would think that being waffling-challenged was the least of the problems his column presents.
Painting himself as a fringe element is probably more to the point.
Sadly for Mallard, the fringe is no longer in control here in America. In fact, I think what we're seeing over the last 2 weeks is actually a delayed reaction to the Midterm elections. It is the frenzied release of months of pent-up frustration over suddenly finding himself marginalized politically.
And yet, the idiocy of all that is actually overshadowed by the tired scream reference and applying the "waffler" sobriquet to Dean when it was actually used to tar Kerry.
You've got to hand it to the duck; just when you think he can't go any lower or get any stupider, he finds that extra gear.
Walter Williams, Howard Dean, waffling, Iowa.
Even if I were to grant that syndicated columnists were prevented from waffling by their paper trail (a claim which I do not grant), based on the fact that Mr. Williams directly compared environmentalists to mass-murdering communists, I would think that being waffling-challenged was the least of the problems his column presents.
Painting himself as a fringe element is probably more to the point.
Sadly for Mallard, the fringe is no longer in control here in America. In fact, I think what we're seeing over the last 2 weeks is actually a delayed reaction to the Midterm elections. It is the frenzied release of months of pent-up frustration over suddenly finding himself marginalized politically.
And yet, the idiocy of all that is actually overshadowed by the tired scream reference and applying the "waffler" sobriquet to Dean when it was actually used to tar Kerry.
You've got to hand it to the duck; just when you think he can't go any lower or get any stupider, he finds that extra gear.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Those damned doctors
What's Mallard raving about today?
Walter Williams, Howard Dean, the D.N.C., Doctors.
There's so much wrong with today's panel it's hard to know what is the most irksome.
The fact that he didn't stop his Walter Williams inanity?
The fact that he believes his one week effort will have led to a groundswell of support?
The fact that he keeps publishing the man's email address?
The fact that he believes Howard Dean almost became President?
In the end, however, I have to choose the fact that Mallard makes an abortion pun and implies that every doctor in the world can't help but looking at all things through the prism of abortion, presumably because all physicians are dratted abortionists.
No matter how you consider today's panel, the phrase "Have you no sense of decency, sir?" seems the appropriate response.
Walter Williams, Howard Dean, the D.N.C., Doctors.
There's so much wrong with today's panel it's hard to know what is the most irksome.
The fact that he didn't stop his Walter Williams inanity?
The fact that he believes his one week effort will have led to a groundswell of support?
The fact that he keeps publishing the man's email address?
The fact that he believes Howard Dean almost became President?
In the end, however, I have to choose the fact that Mallard makes an abortion pun and implies that every doctor in the world can't help but looking at all things through the prism of abortion, presumably because all physicians are dratted abortionists.
No matter how you consider today's panel, the phrase "Have you no sense of decency, sir?" seems the appropriate response.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
That damned Super Bowl
What's Mallard raving about today?
The Super Bowl, Experts, Valentine's Day, Male/Female relationships.
I have to assume, because it's really not clear, that Mallard's point is that men couldn't be bothered to observe Valentine's Day if it falls on the same day as the Super Bowl, which would cause a rift between men and women so serious that every single male-female relationship would be called off on that very day, all human procreation would end, thus providing the final nail in the primacy of Homo Sapiens on planet Earth. At least in America.
What's really got me curious, however, is the following question: Who the hell are all the cross-looking folk in the panel's center, staring at sheaves of paper and computers? I'm guessing they are supposed to the "the experts" but that, also, is not clear.
The Super Bowl, Experts, Valentine's Day, Male/Female relationships.
I have to assume, because it's really not clear, that Mallard's point is that men couldn't be bothered to observe Valentine's Day if it falls on the same day as the Super Bowl, which would cause a rift between men and women so serious that every single male-female relationship would be called off on that very day, all human procreation would end, thus providing the final nail in the primacy of Homo Sapiens on planet Earth. At least in America.
What's really got me curious, however, is the following question: Who the hell are all the cross-looking folk in the panel's center, staring at sheaves of paper and computers? I'm guessing they are supposed to the "the experts" but that, also, is not clear.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
That damned media
What's Mallard raving about today?
The media, African-American Presidential candidates.
The Media keep saying that we're not yet ready for an African-American President?
Care to provide proof for that audacious statement, Mallard?
And simply raising the question does not count, given the fact that the next African-American President we elect will be the first.
The media, African-American Presidential candidates.
The Media keep saying that we're not yet ready for an African-American President?
Care to provide proof for that audacious statement, Mallard?
And simply raising the question does not count, given the fact that the next African-American President we elect will be the first.
Friday, February 02, 2007
Meta-Post: Walter Williams
Any of you who emailed Mr. Williams (politely & respectfully, I assume), please let the rest of us know what you find out. I know I'm curious what he thinks of all this.
For those of you wanting some sort of data point on who exactly Walter Williams is and what kind of person Mallard desires to be President, I offer the following from an article he wrote on January 24, decrying The Weather Channel (stop laughing, I'm serious...The Weather Channel) for a series entitled "It Could Happen Tomorrow:"
For those of you wanting some sort of data point on who exactly Walter Williams is and what kind of person Mallard desires to be President, I offer the following from an article he wrote on January 24, decrying The Weather Channel (stop laughing, I'm serious...The Weather Channel) for a series entitled "It Could Happen Tomorrow:"
The environmental extremists' true agenda has little or nothing to do with climate change. Their true agenda is to find a means to control our lives. The kind of repressive human control, not to mention government-sanctioned mass murder, seen under communism has lost any measure of intellectual respectability. So people who want that kind of control must come up with a new name, and that new name is environmentalism.I feel comfortable saying that level of discourse speaks pretty much for itself.
That damned email address
What's Mallard raving about today?
Walter Williams, the Secret Service, using the bathroom.
We may finally know what Mallard meant when he said he was going to "threaten" Walter Williams. That said, Mallard skipped the step where you actually make a threat and just published the email address without warning.
What's truly disturbing is not the idea of Walter Williams being drafted into the election but the sudden realization that this actually represents a serious effort by Mallard to start a political movement. It's actually quite uncomfortable to watch someone with such delusions of grandeur publish them in comic form.
This week cannot possibly end soon enough.
Walter Williams, the Secret Service, using the bathroom.
We may finally know what Mallard meant when he said he was going to "threaten" Walter Williams. That said, Mallard skipped the step where you actually make a threat and just published the email address without warning.
What's truly disturbing is not the idea of Walter Williams being drafted into the election but the sudden realization that this actually represents a serious effort by Mallard to start a political movement. It's actually quite uncomfortable to watch someone with such delusions of grandeur publish them in comic form.
This week cannot possibly end soon enough.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Those damned pies
What's Mallard raving about today?
Walter Williams, Rush Limbaugh, YAF, fundraisers, pies.
You know, when this week started I knew it would be dreadful. I never imagined it would be so goddamn boring.
Wake me when this is over.
Walter Williams, Rush Limbaugh, YAF, fundraisers, pies.
You know, when this week started I knew it would be dreadful. I never imagined it would be so goddamn boring.
Wake me when this is over.
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