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Monday, February 12, 2007

That damned Hillary

What's Mallard raving about today?

Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama.

Whereas a Valentine is usually an expression of affection or friendship from one person to another, a Mallentine appears to be a self-evident statement of no particular insight, import, or wit, set to an irregular rythym and sophomoric rhyme scheme, apocryphally attributed to a person in straw man fashion.

In case you were wondering...


Scanman said...

One thing I have always hated about this duck is how the quotes he puts in his enemies' mouth never comes close to ringing true. "I'm old enough to be your mother" Um, that would make her 15 years old when he was born and no woman would admit to that!
At least when Doonesbury puts fictional words in the mouths of real people it sounds like something they would say.

Chuck said...

And shouldn't he have illustrated it with a picture of either Hillary or Obama instead of... I dunno... Benjamin Netanyahu in a wig?

fagadaga said...

This is going to go on all week, isn't it?

slappy handstrong said...

Let's hope this is #23 out of a series of 23.

john said...

Well, at least Mallard has dropped that Walter Williams nonsense and conceded that a Democrat will be elected president.

Mysterio said...


I'm afraid this is going to last all week, and possibly into next week. Mallentines are a annual theme for Tinsley, similar to the New Year "resolutions".
BTW, when do you think Tinsley is going to get to Sen. Binden's infamous comment re: Obama? Whereas I agree that Biden's statement was idiotic and he deserves to be called on it, I'm sure Tinsley's take on it will manage to avoid all humor and wit.

Anonymous said...

"Barak"? Come on, man.

Kaitlyn said...

That was Hillary?

I flipped through the channels today, saw CSPAN - she was doing a Townhall meeting... the only thing the actual human being had in common with the "drawing" is the hair color.

I swear, he'd do better with pictures cut out from magazines...

john said...

From John to Barack Obama:

Your candidacy is a sterling showing
of something we are all born knowing
that when a black man is graced with charm
and a gift to keep sweet words a-flowin'
All the whitest guys around
will have silly racial thoughts abound
and guys like Biden will express 'em
'cause he likes to hear his voice's sound
And tho' they think that they've paid you
a nice white compliment or two
really all that they have done
is reveal what we already knew
That old time attitudes prevail
and are repressed to make the sale
and tho' treated like a hero now
they'd all love to see you fail

Worry not, O open-collar'd one
they are the stars, you are the sun
and all the gas that they emit
is exactly that.
But you'd better run, and better win
this is your best chance to get in
Because if it's you and Spitzer
he will knock you flat.

luke said...

I can't think of anything to comment about this boring crap other than to ask if this the first time we've ever seen Mallard naked.

I know he's just a duck, but it's still bothering me.

Mysterio said...

It's not up yet, but Tuesday's installment?




And given Bruce's track record, that's saying quite a bit.

Scanman said...


Tuesday strip has Obama saying "Let's try to keep this a CLEAN fight" so maybe he IS commenting on Biden's statement.

aquna said...


Kaitlyn said...

I think I'll beg one of my former English teachers to write to the paper to complain about the poetry. ;)

And my sister's art teacher to complain about the drawings.

And my history teacher and my government teacher to complain about the mass stupidity.

Or hell, "We, the teachers, at XYZ, feel that Mallard Fillmore is a terrible influence on our students. The writing is shoddy, the attempts at poetry are grotesque, the caricatures need labels, the non-caricatures are an affront to the eyes, and the information he gives out is incredibly wrong and outdated. Please pull this tripe."

Ha! Like any high school student but me ever read this thing.

Nathan said...

Is it just me, or did he decide to try to turn this thing into a limerick halfway through it?

Watchdog said...

That pic of "Hillary" was a cut and paste from one of his earlier strips, this guy barely rates as a real artist.

Jordan said...

Hey! Another High school student! I think it's just you and me, though.

I've actually done quite a bit with poetry, and I really have to hand it to Mallard...

...until I read this blog, I didn't even realize that there was poetry in the strip. I thought Tinsley just had an odd way of writing. No, he just sucks at rhyme.