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Thursday, August 16, 2007

That damned Rush

What's Mallard raving about today?


OK, first things first, since you all probably had the same question I did...who the hell is Rush?
Dave's little boy. Lives to play basketball. Wants to forgo his 4th-grade eligibility and go straight to the pros. His teacher, Ms. Carp (pronounced Mizzzzzz Carp), is also president of the local NEA chapter. She started disliking Rush immediately upon finding out he was named after the talk-show host, not the band. Other kids want to know where babies come from; Rush wants to know why there are no Asian-Americans in the NBA.
After getting that out of the way, I have to say I'm shocked to be reminded this comic has been taking up space in newspapers for over 12 years.

Though I suppose it's worth asking Mallard the following: Are you even trying to be funny anymore, or have you given up completely?


Mysterio said...

IIRC, there was also some mention in the strip that Dave's wife divorced him after he named Rush..Rush.

Yuk, yuk! Those wacky Liberal feminists! Thinking that they should have some say about who their kid is named after!

connection said...

It's like he's trying to emulate Doonesbury by having lots of characters. But without the character depth, coherent plot, or humor it just makes him seem schizo.

BillyWitchDoctor said...

Rush hasn't appeared for a lonnnng time. Rush and his Daddy--an immigrant from Vietnam and a cook--were props for Tinsley to hide his bigotry (and attack teachers, who are all stupid liberal hippies in Tinsworld). Let's review some keywords:

No Asian-Americans in the NBA?

Yeah, you can figure out why Rush hasn't been in the strip a lot lately.

In the meantime, Tinny's been busy reminding us that Asian cuisine involves animals that Real Americans do not consider food ("CHINESE EAT DOGS!!!1").

Were Dave real, he would be so proud. From Dave's description:

"Dave is one of those rare Americans who still believes in the American work ethic and can quote our Founding Fathers. This may be because he's from Vietnam."

OH, SNAP! Did Tinny just insult the entire NATION? Why do you hate America, Bruce?

Nick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nick said...

Weird. Yao Ming has been the NBA's best center, and one of the best-known NBA players, for the past five years.

That is, since Rush has been three years old.

12xuser said...

Other than Noseworthy (Balding Liberal Guy has a name?), I don't think I've ever seen any of these characters in the year or so I've been reading Mallard. You'd be hard-pressed to call them regulars. Where's Angry Sun? Al Sharpton? Hillary?

Anonymous said...

She started disliking Rush immediately upon finding out he was named after the talk-show host, not the band.

Because, you know, liberals all love that Canadian Socialist rock band, with their... 20-minute song based on an Ayn Rand story.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, early on he tried to some narrative work using characters to spout out his right wing junk. He found out he sucked at it.

He created a sympathetic Asian character to prove he's not a racist but put himself in a hole when he went on his anti-China rap.

He wishes he were the right wing version of Garry Trudeau, but he looks more like the right wing non sports version of Bill Gallo.

Truce Binsley said...

So let's see... If Rush has been in third grade for 12 years, he must have been born around 1987... when Rush Limbaugh was not yet broadcasting nationally and could be heard only in Sacramento.

Anonymous said...

Yao Ming isn't Asian-American.

Anonymous said...

I think Rush is a young third grader, being that he's Asian and thus smarter than us and especially African Americans.

He probably was born around the time Rush began nationally but before Rush ever exercised his right to vote.

Nick said...

Tinny, pretending to be anonymous, said: "Yao Ming isn't Asian-American."

Ummmmmmm -- yes, he is. He was born in Shanghai, has lived in the U.S. for nine years (a third of his life), and has adopted the American lifestyle as his own.

That makes him Asian-American.

Or do you feel that he cannot be called "Asian-American" until he becomes naturalized? And -- let me guess -- once a citizen, he can't be called "Asian-American" ANYHOW, because he becomes plain "American"?

Michael said...

What "anonymous" meant was that Yao Ming isn't of Asian descent; he is sasquatch.

Anonymous said...

Can you imagine naming a child after Rush Limbaugh? I can't say I'd dislike the child but parent-teacher conferences might be a little weird.