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Sunday, July 03, 2011

That Damned Bad News

What's Mallard raving about today?

U.S. History, Americans

First two pieces of bad news are both uncited and as likely pulled from cloaca as based in actual fact.

The second, especially, sounds very much like a Fox fact (e.g., a Lie).

The third, is notable because 100% of these High School Students spent their Elementary and Middle School years under policies from the Bush Administration during a period in which Republicans controlled virtually all the levers of Government.

Which is to say that I am sure this is all the Democrats fault.

By the way, on this 4th of July, Mallard would prefer you have a lecture, rather than a break.


Tog said...

Batshit always whine about how Johnny is dumb, but has never uttered a single peep about those horseshit-filled, Republican-agenda-based Texas textbooks.


DiM said...

And we go down the list thusly:
1) Why quantify that with "began"? You -do- know that it began, played out, and concluded in the same century, yes?
2) What good would that do a math, engineering, medical, or any other degree that isn't History-based student? Isn't' one of your favorite things to bitch about how useless college is? Were you born this stupid, did you really have to work for it?
3) Look, I enjoy me some history, and being from Virginia, I gots me more then my share of pre-industrial US History knowledge in me. And you know what? 90% of it is useless. There's a lot of varied important information that students should know to have a broad spectrum of knowledge for career choosing. The names of the delegates at the second Constitutional Convention is not one of them.
4) Actually, the Founding Fathers, being the New England Elitists that they were, had very dim views of your average citizen's grasp of what's going on in the world, and built the structure of the nation to involve them as little as possible.
So, no, I don't think they'd be very shocked that your average person doesn't know much about US History, a subject with precious few practical applications.
5) Ah yes, who can forget our greatest founder: Rotten Robbie from the Lazytown delegation.

TL,DR: Tinsly is a whiny idiot. Who can't draw.

exanonymous said...

Maybe Mallard is just ticked because 13% means that 87% don't buy the shiny revised "we are perfect" version to pass certain proficiency exams.

For instance, Sarah Palin's version of history is appalling. I'm quite certain I couldn't pass a test she made.

ajm said...

Speaking of those Founding Fathers who Mallard claims are spinning in their graves, Michelle Bachmann just erroneously declared that John Quincy Adams was one.

Scanman said...

What Mallard doesn't want you to know is that History majors are some of the most useless of all. Right above "undeclared". Not many job openings in the private sector for it. It doesn't create wealth for one thing.

Anonymous said...

Togshit...a brief education even you may understand...yesterday.

rewinn said...

Since most Americans don't go to college, American history should be taught in primary or high school. Lifestyles and careers that don't require a college education (e.g. the military, plumbing) are perfectly valid choices and indeed extremely valuable to our nation and society, so I don't see why Mallard thinks that history should be reserved for the college elite.

And ... as DaveyK points out, our current crop of high school students got that way under George W Bush. EUW!

I'm not sure who Anonymous Coward may be but ignoring it is the obvious course since its comment is even more irrelevant than usual to today's "comic".

You know what would REALLY have our Founders spinning in their graves? Torturing prisoners. Today's quote:

“Should any American soldier be so base and infamous as to injure any [prisoner] … I do most earnestly enjoin you to bring him to such severe and exemplary punishment as the enormity of the crime may require … for by such conduct they bring shame, disgrace and ruin to themselves and their country.”
- - George Washington,
Sept. 14, 1775

Taquelli said...

I think only 65% know what century the American Revolution began because it's a trick question. Pretty much all Americans know when the United States was founded, 1776, but asking them to take two more iterative steps to come with the century is just a trap to make them look like an idiot. Sure, it's not a huge leap in logic, but asking people to do it when they're being harassed on the street or on the phone with a crap survey will fluster people, and hey, they make mistakes.

But sure, use this fact to prove that all the poor people are stupid anyway, so why would they need social services or education or tax cuts?

Anonymous said...

Obama's Economists: 'Stimulus' Has Cost $278,000 per job. Not good news for the liberal deniers concerning what Obama has done to the economy.

CW in LA said...

Tell, us, Concern Troll for Hire, how much of that figure comes from the unnecessary and useless tax cuts that had to be larded into the stimulus bill before conservatives would grudgingly allow the bill to be passed even in its reduced and inadequate form?

deepbeep said...

Anonymous, are you in the wrong thread? This is Duck and Cover, where we discuss Mallard Fillmore comics.

Speaking of which, is that supposed to be Jefferson? At least that 8 inch protruding chin will prevent him from spinning in any grave.

Tog said...

Oh, I get it! Anon calls me "Togshit" because it's so screaming butthurt that I call Batshit "Batshit!" How creative!

I'm late to the game, so everyone else has already done a fine job of "refudiating" Anon's assorted regurgitations of both yesterday and today.

...Although I still got a good laugh at them! Remember, OBAMA STIMULUS BAAAAAD, BUSH STIMULUS, UH, DOWN MEMORY HOLE (see also: deficits), and yes, Virginia, Obama was destroying the country even before he won the election!

God, ssfan12--I mean, "Anon"--you're such a complete drooling moron. (You will now call me a complete drooling moron. Because you're so creative! Oh, I shall be ever so devastated.)

Steve-O said...

Why does Bruce Tinsley hate Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann?

CW in LA said...

Steve-O - 'Cause they won't make a Tinsh sandwich with him no matter how much he sucks up to them in his awful little cartoon that they surely never even heard of.

I mean, Duh.

DiR said...

Hi, I'm anon, and I don't understand how stimulus spending works.

MartyRotten said...

Okay, I'm confused. Why is there a picture of Edgar Winter in the last panel.

Rootbeer said...

Remind me again which of the Founding Fathers [TM] it was that had a frizzy white Larry Fine 'do, always wore a black jacket over a striped turtleneck, and had a penis for a chin?

Rootbeer said...

"Togshit...a brief education even you may understand...yesterday."

Here in America we speak English!!! You can love it or you can leave it!!!