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Sunday, August 28, 2011

Those damned Teens

What's Mallard raving about today?

Teenagers

Shorter Mallard Fillmore: You damn kids! Get offa my lawn!

12 comments:

Frank Stone said...

Uh, Mallard? The writer asked you how he/she could LOOK like a teenager, not ACT like one. You would have understood that if you weren't such a hopeless wetbrain.

Tog said...

The Strip Batshit Should/Won't Do:

"Dear Mallard: I'm a douchebag, but I want to be an even bigger douchebag. How do I make myself the most puerile pus-wad on the Potomac? Signed, Eric Cantor."

"That's easy, Eric. Announce that you will block emergency relief funds from reaching hurricane victims unless they're 'offset' by spending cuts. Sincerely, Mallard."

Bill the Splut said...

"How do I look like an adult?"

"Wear no pants, drink heavily, complain about those stupid kids today while sneering at educated people, and scream about how you want the USA to go into economic collapse!"

Kip W said...

"Dear Mallard,
As a pantless non-human with the brain of a walnut who craps wherever he goes, what kind of advice can you give me on how to appear intelligent?"

ajm said...

And dig that high-falutin' e-mail account with Gmail that positively SCREAMS prestige. Tinsley must be rollin' in dough, amirite?

exanonymous said...

This made no sense. Typical.

Bill the Splut said...

Is the "find Canada on a map" thing meant to show how stupid Bruce thinks teens are, or is it a point of pride that he can point to a country next door, knowing that he's got a 50/50 chance of not pointing to Mexico?

Also, shouldn't it read "Pretend you know how to draw the vice president"?

WV: crobcled; "Tinny crobcled out another crummy strip again."

CW in LA said...

What I like is how ignorance in teenagers represents an appalling indictment of our public schools and of teens' own damn hippie laziness. But ignorance in adults represents noble Palinesque Teabagger Real Americanism.

So my advice to teems who don't know squat is, Stay the course. in 40 years Tinsh (or his ideological heirs) will think you're awesome.

wv: screaddl - Reading Brews' screaddl definitely get tiresome.

Tog said...

@ajm: And dig that high-falutin' e-mail account with Gmail that positively SCREAMS prestige.

Golly, whatever became of New Direction Batshit, trying to impress "the kids" with his newfangled Twitter account? Now all you see on the shelves is Classic Batshit, with its bitter BAAAAH, YEW TEENZ IZ IGNRUNT aftertaste.

rewinn said...

Today's "comic" says Tinshley hangs out with stupid people. The young people I know are smart, curious and good-hearted. All of them can find Canada on a map and, with a few seconds on their cellphone, can produce driving directions to any city in Canada - or the name of its current Prime Minister.

Now, it is true that they lack the cynicism of the old, not having yet been beaten down and betrayed by 45-year-olds trying to look like a teenager.

* How CREEPY is that letter anyway? what sort of pervo asks a cartoon duck how to troll for teens?)

* @agm is righter than right. A domain registration is about $9.95 and rerouting email from that domain to a gmail account can take up to an hour of research time. Everyone who sees mallardmail@gmail.com understands it to read iAmStupid@mallardmail.com

* Of all the cities in America to not know where Canada is, it is especially stupid for Brewsky to pick Detroit. It's the biggest American city from which you can SEE Canada! I suppose he didn't want to offend his reader base in the parts of the nation where they teach creationism, and Detroit is, you know, kinda dark so it naturally occurred to him that they wouldn't know what nation Windsor, Ontario is in.

* This is SUNDAY STRIP? the script (such as it is) would be lame for a daily and the art even more so. Wanna bet I can do better with MSPaint?

rewinn said...

OMG GREAT TIMING STRIKES AGAIN: at least ONE bunch of MIDDLE SCHOOLERS know who the VP was in the last administration: Arkansas Middle School Includes George W. Bush and Dick Cheney In ‘Top 5 worst people of all time’ List

deepbeep said...

The last person from whom you should solicit advice: the one resting his head on a lumbar support pad.