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Sunday, August 07, 2011

That damned Toilet

What's Mallard raving about today?

Toilet Seats, Feminism

Seriously? You're equating toilet seat etiquette with gender equality?

Plus, you're saying you're a man who cares where the toilet seat is left. In other words, you're admitting you're a petty douche bag.

Which comes as a real shock to me, I can tell you.

19 comments:

DiR said...

Ow, my brain.

I must wonder; just which lucky lucky lady managed to land this solid-gold catch?

Tog said...

Mallard and Batshit will go to any depth for an opportunity to put on that smug smirk; the toilet's hardly the bottom of the barrel for them.

No doubt Batshit's insanely proud of himself just for doing a Sunday strip with more than a single panel. Keep reaching for the stars, Batshit!

ajm said...

Mallard Fillmore: "Sex Takes a Holiday."

Kip W said...

Being a unicloacal duck and all, why does Mallard even raise the seat? Does he put it up and then squat over the... okay, brain, stop right now or I'm getting the pickle fork out again.

rewinn said...

The "EWWW!" in the 1st panel applies to the entire "comic".

P.S. what kind of man goes "EWWWW!" over a toilet seat?

Bill the Splut said...

Apparently, Bruce doesn't know how to go wee-wee while seated. Possibly this is because his job consists of him pissing his pants over everything that happens in the world.

You'd think Mallard would appreciate having the seat always down, as it makes it easier to puke up that 12 of Natty Ice.

WV: hypers; Bruce gets all hypers over the lamest stuff.

Frank Stone said...

Rewinn: If the previous user of a toilet has urinated all over the seat, then reacting with "EWWW!" is acceptable. If the seat is simply in a different position than a man (or duck) would prefer at that moment, however... not so much.

Oh, Christ -- now I've begun wondering if Mallard is also in the habit of taking a dump while standing up. Damn you, Tinsleeeyyyy!!!!

(One would think Mallard would be grateful that a woman was sufficiently comfortable in his home to use his toilet in the first place. But, clearly, one would be mistaken.)

Steve-O said...

In a case of art imitating life, Mallard Fillmore is drunk-dialing.

deepbeep said...

I hope she left him the upper-decker he deserves.

CW in LA said...

I assumed an upper decker meant peeing on the toilet seat. But just to make sure, I consulted that great lexicographer for our time, Urban Dictionary:

"The act of defecating in the upper tank of the toilet. When the next poor unsuspecting person flushes the toilet they get a bowl of beef stew. the upper decker is a weapon of terror and should only be used on people who deserve it."

You really do learn something new every day. But it's quite rare for that to come out of anything to do with Mallard Fillmore!

Neo Tuxedo said...

Oh, Christ -- now I've begun wondering if Mallard is also in the habit of taking a dump while standing up.

Paul Riddell, back before he shifted the focus of his writing to matters botanical, frequently described targets of his ire as either too lazy, or too stupid, to drop trou before dropping a deuce. Batshit is almost certainly at least one.

WV: butch. I swear to the frakkin' Emprah.

CW in LA said...

Why do you think Mallard doesn't wear pants?

Steve-O said...

Ok, this comment thread is the funniest damn thing I've read all day! Kudos gentlemen (and ladies if there are any here).

Tog said...

When the next poor unsuspecting person flushes the toilet they get a bowl of beef stew.

Mother. Of. God.

Kip W said...

But for Mallard, as for all ducks, there is no difference between pooping and peeing. It's all, well, Dinty Moore. Why would he possibly raise the seat, except to be a plain old cloaca hole?

Rootbeer said...

It's sadder when you realize that Mallard has pissed all over the bathroom floor, and that Chantel got sick of enabling Mallard's alcoholism and moved out months ago, and will be getting a restraining order if he keeps calling her.

rewinn said...

Wait. wait. wait. Is the "EWWWW!" from Chantel reacting to Mallard peeing on the seat because he's too lazy to put it up?

TOO
MUCH
INFORMATION!!!!!

(I pity Mrs. Tinsley, I really do!)

Kip W said...

I tell ya, ducks don't piss.

exanonymous said...

Uh... close the lid to avoid the feces mist that sprays everything when you flush.

It has nothing to do with feminism. Unless not brushing your teeth with a feces-flavored toothbrush is feminist.