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Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Those damned Executives

What's Mallard raving about today?

Penn State, Child Molesters



Marion Delgado said...

I blame liberals this never happened when Leave It To Beaver was on TV and Knute Rockne was a coach.

WV: tablecid What Tinsley provides when his GOP buddies need to conference on the economy. It doesn't have much bouquet, but it goes great with ketamine.

Marion Delgado said...

Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave (Ray Stantz voice) You never studied!

Those are recent headlines from Fox News and Andrew Breitbart's Big Hollywood.

I mean where do you get your news?

PS This also applies to whatever Mallard/Bruce does to Rush/RealNameWithheldAsMinorChild - your hollywood heroes do it too! you're preemptively prohibited from bringing it up again!

WV: crakingh - does WV read Mallard Fillmore?

ajm said...

Shorter Tins: Because Hollywood moguls allegedly get away with pedophilia, it's no biggie when a football coach is accused of it. Amirite?

Steve-O said...

Shorter Tinsley: Fucking children, it's only bad when Hollywood does it.

Rootbeer said...


rewinn said...

Who do those coaches think they are - Rush Limbaugh and his friends at Fox?.

Maybe the rule is: child rape is bad only if it doesn't involve conservative heroes.

Anonymous said...

Roman Polanski - All American.

Steve-O said...

Hey anonytroll, nobody here is defending Roman Polanski.

The point is, Tinsley seems to be defending Sandusky, JoePa, Bernie Fine, et. al. by pointing to "Hollywood Pedophilia (OMG!!!)".

Toots McGee said...

Oh come on, the real "joke" here is "Who do coaches think they are, Catholic Priests?" know because of documented evidence of abuse and an institutional effort to conceal it.

A Fox news "expose" doesn't cut it in making a valid comparison.

Polanksi? C'mon Anony, use your words.

Frank Stone said...

What we can't see (and praise be to all the gods for this) is the stubby little ducky boner Mallard is sporting.

Like Mallard/Brucie wouldn't leave skid marks on the floor in his haste to race to the west coast if some Hollywood executive* called and offered to turn "Mallard Fillmore" into an animated TV series.

*An insane one, needless to say.

Steve-O said...

Oh God Frank, how horrific would that be? I can see it now...

"Up next on Fox Business Channel, catch an all new Mallard Fillmore. In today's episode Mallard is a total dick to Chantel while sitting motionlessly watching TV and drinking Wild Turkey."

Bill the Splut said...

Wow, Bruce's Editor, you ran this? There's no way to read it as anything but "Child rape is no biggie." And Bruce, you wrote this? Just 3 days after wrapping yourself in Jesus?

Tog said...

@Frank Stone: I don't know which is worse...that you put that thought into my head, or that you might have put that idea into Hollywood's head. (Unlikely, but still.) You should be ashamed of yourself!

@Bill the Splut: In the interest of fairness, and in spite of my own beliefs about Tinsley's perversities, I don't think Batshit's actually saying it's no big deal.

Rather, because his beloved sports are "under attack by the media," he's getting his licks in against Liberal Homo Hollywood by defensively playing the "everyone is equally bad" card.

While the proportional extent of this "scandal" in Hollywood as portrayed by Batshit is questionable to preposterous (especially as it's sourced from FOXNoise and Freightfart), Hollywood doesn't do itself any favors on the subject. I'm old enough to remember that following Pretty Baby, every producer Brooke Shields worked with for years after---completely missing the point of that film---felt they had to have, at minimum, a glimpse of her bare jailbait ass.

And then there's Victor Salva, self-pitying convicted child molester, who is currently finishing up the third entry in his horror franchise about an unstoppable monster who freely feasts upon half-naked young men. (Subtle, no?) Under the sponsorship of Francis Ford Coppola. (insert Jackie Chan "My Brain is Full of F**k" meme here.)

This abuse is rampant in society in general and part of today's culture, period. (The slobbering mania over Emma Watson and Dakota Fanning that dried up when they got "too old for Pedobear" isn't Hollywood's fault.) Not trying to justify it, of course, just pointing out that Batshit, FOXNoise and Freightfart are narrowing their focus to suit their own ends. Because they are mentally-stunted ideologues.

ajm said...

Perhaps in the wake of the Penn State & Syracuse sex abuse cases, conservatives might refrain from glibly talking about having to "bend over" or "grab their ankles" in response to Obama's policies. Today's strip suggests I'm not holding my breath.

CW in LA said...

For that matter, Brews could exercise some restraint in flinging around terms like "pop tart".

Probably not much reason to hold one's breath on that count, either.

Kip W said...

Okay, if something happened (and it looks like it has) to some child actors of the 80s and 90s, then at least publicly shame those responsible. If the statute of limitations hasn't run out, then do more.

Somebody being guilty in Hollywood doesn't mean that what happened in college athletics is no big deal, which I fear is what they're trying to set us up for. Get all the bastards who do this to kids. Same with the ones the Church has been sheltering for years.

Pretty simple: let's have a single standard.

CW in LA said...

Oh gosh, I just saw Thursday's strip. Mallard's going to be on this like L'il Rush on his dust-covered floor, isn't he?

rewinn said...

Pretty simple: let's have a single standard"

That's a good idea only if you really care about helping kids and stopping crime.

If you're more interested in stoking the Culture War in service to the 1%, then you NEED multiple standards.

Hey Bruce Tinshley - here's a chance to answer the question: Which Side Are You On?

Rootbeer said...

And with Thursday's strip, it's officially moved from equivocation to full-fledged diversionary tactics.

"Hey, stop paying attention to the issue of boyfucking in college football! Instead, you should be outraged at this purported epidemic of pederasty in Liberal Hollywood, for which I provide no citations. And for which you won't find any evidence on your own, except an old Fox News piece that represents a handful of reputed incidents from a few decades ago as if they are commonplace in the present day."

"Also, try to guess what was on my word-a-day calendar the day I wrote this."

Steve-O said...

What a brave stand Tinsley is taking today! It takes a courageous person to accuse an amorphous, equivocal entity of pedophilia with no naming of names or sources provided.

It's wayyyy worse than the child-rape and molestation at Penn St. and Syracuse because.....Socialism!