What's Mallard raving about today?
24, Hillary Clinton.
"Not Shown Actual Size"
You mean Mr. Surnow does not actually measure 165 pixels from chest to head? Thanks for the clarification.
Can I also assume, therefore, that he actually exists in 3 dimensions, not 2?
Should I also assume his neck and head are not actually so obviously penis-shaped...oh, wait a minute, I think I understand what Mallard was actually trying to say.
Project Wonderful Banner
Friday, November 30, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
That damned L'Engle
What's Mallard raving about today?
Harry Potter, Madeleine L'Engle.
Everything you need to know about Mallard is encapsulated in the fact that he cannot praise A Wrinkle In Time without criticizing something else. In this case a series of books which made reading popular again...and kids.
Don't even get me started about the egomania on exhibit.
Harry Potter, Madeleine L'Engle.
Everything you need to know about Mallard is encapsulated in the fact that he cannot praise A Wrinkle In Time without criticizing something else. In this case a series of books which made reading popular again...and kids.
Don't even get me started about the egomania on exhibit.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
That damned triangulation
What's Mallard raving about today?
Hillary Clinton, Gender.
If I were a man. they'd just call it triangulation?
Unless Mallard is using the old "Men are better at Mathematics" stereotype, I have no idea what the hell he's talking about.
Not to mention the fact that this position of Hillary's is made up out of whole cloth.
Hillary Clinton, Gender.
If I were a man. they'd just call it triangulation?
Unless Mallard is using the old "Men are better at Mathematics" stereotype, I have no idea what the hell he's talking about.
Not to mention the fact that this position of Hillary's is made up out of whole cloth.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Those damned girls
What's Mallard raving about today?
Girls.
I know what you mean Mallard.
After 43 straight female Presidents, it's shameless to treat a woman running for President as something special.
What we need is a stage full of rich white guys for a change of pace.
Girls.
I know what you mean Mallard.
After 43 straight female Presidents, it's shameless to treat a woman running for President as something special.
What we need is a stage full of rich white guys for a change of pace.
Monday, November 26, 2007
That damned Hillary
What's Mallard raving about today?
Senator Clinton.
It's a measure of just how painful the past week has been that I'm actually kind of grateful to see Mallard getting back to what he does best: putting a bunch of incoherent ramblings next to a dreadful caricature of a Democratic personality.
Senator Clinton.
It's a measure of just how painful the past week has been that I'm actually kind of grateful to see Mallard getting back to what he does best: putting a bunch of incoherent ramblings next to a dreadful caricature of a Democratic personality.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
That damned commercial
What's Mallard raving about today?
Indianapolis Colts, Peyton Manning, Commercials.
If you'd spend 10 seconds away from the TV each day, Mallard, you might not be so put out by Peyton Manning making money off his fame.
Or is that the problem? Are you simply jealous because no one wants you as their spokesman?
Take heart. I'm sure the phone will ring soon.
Advertising agencies are always looking for the next cranky right-wing spokesfowl. Especially those who spend all of their free time in front of the TV, clad in pajamas, eating generic purple snacks, and sitting in a gray blob.
Indianapolis Colts, Peyton Manning, Commercials.
If you'd spend 10 seconds away from the TV each day, Mallard, you might not be so put out by Peyton Manning making money off his fame.
Or is that the problem? Are you simply jealous because no one wants you as their spokesman?
Take heart. I'm sure the phone will ring soon.
Advertising agencies are always looking for the next cranky right-wing spokesfowl. Especially those who spend all of their free time in front of the TV, clad in pajamas, eating generic purple snacks, and sitting in a gray blob.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
That damned Ethanol
What's Mallard raving about today?
Bill Buckley, Liberals, Ethanol.
You choose to honor the man by comparing him to Ethanol? I'd consider that damning with faint praise if not outright insulting the man.
How creepy is it that fanboi Mallard knows Mr. Buckley's birthday?
Bill Buckley, Liberals, Ethanol.
You choose to honor the man by comparing him to Ethanol? I'd consider that damning with faint praise if not outright insulting the man.
How creepy is it that fanboi Mallard knows Mr. Buckley's birthday?
Friday, November 23, 2007
That damned College Football
What's Mallard raving about today?
The WGA, College Football.
Today's panel has me feeling amazed in two distinct ways.
First, despite knowing how much Mallard detests both Unions and Hollywood, I am still amazed at how much attention he's paying to the WGA strike.
Second, I'm amazed to hear him say "yet another great thing about College Football" given the fact that we've never heard Mallard say a single good thing about it. His only previous references to College Football have been complaints, usually about the BCS or Boise State.
The WGA, College Football.
Today's panel has me feeling amazed in two distinct ways.
First, despite knowing how much Mallard detests both Unions and Hollywood, I am still amazed at how much attention he's paying to the WGA strike.
Second, I'm amazed to hear him say "yet another great thing about College Football" given the fact that we've never heard Mallard say a single good thing about it. His only previous references to College Football have been complaints, usually about the BCS or Boise State.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
That damned Thanksgiving
What's Mallard raving about today?
The WGA, Thanksgiving, Families.
People in glass houses should not throw stones.
The WGA, Thanksgiving, Families.
People in glass houses should not throw stones.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
That damned Sarkozy
What's Mallard raving about today?
France, Hell, Nicolas Sarkozy.
Doesn't the fact that France is suddenly on America's side mean that America is now an ally of The Terrorists?
How stupid are Mallard's actual readers that he feels the need to put the word "Hell" on the newspaper, as if someone might not get the "joke" otherwise.
France, Hell, Nicolas Sarkozy.
Doesn't the fact that France is suddenly on America's side mean that America is now an ally of The Terrorists?
How stupid are Mallard's actual readers that he feels the need to put the word "Hell" on the newspaper, as if someone might not get the "joke" otherwise.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
That damned solidarity
What's Mallard raving about today?
The WGA.
Much like when openly admitting that he is (in the words of BillyWitchDoctor) "in freefalling mental decline and decades out of touch", Mallard is also oddly not ashamed to admit his comic strip is devoid of writers.
No shit.
The WGA.
Much like when openly admitting that he is (in the words of BillyWitchDoctor) "in freefalling mental decline and decades out of touch", Mallard is also oddly not ashamed to admit his comic strip is devoid of writers.
No shit.
Monday, November 19, 2007
That damned Stephen Colbert
What's Mallard raving about today?
Steven Colbert, The WGA.
I'm pretty sure the fact that The Colbert Report is in reruns just means Stephen Colbert, who is probably a member of the WGA (having been a writer on The Daily Show), is unwilling to cross the picket line.
You see, unlike some comic strips which will remain nameless, The Colbert Report uses multiple writers to maintain some sort of standards. For example, they generally won't discuss Thanksgiving leftovers, and if they do they will be funny about it.
Steven Colbert, The WGA.
I'm pretty sure the fact that The Colbert Report is in reruns just means Stephen Colbert, who is probably a member of the WGA (having been a writer on The Daily Show), is unwilling to cross the picket line.
You see, unlike some comic strips which will remain nameless, The Colbert Report uses multiple writers to maintain some sort of standards. For example, they generally won't discuss Thanksgiving leftovers, and if they do they will be funny about it.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Those damned Cave Pilgrims
What's Mallard raving about today?
Cavemen, Pterodactyls.
Complaining about leftovers? Seriously? Complaining about leftovers? You couldn't work Hillary into it somehow? What about liberal guilt over the treatment of Indians?
"Thanksgiving...the early days" involves Pilgrims and Indians, for Christ's sake.
Also, man and Pterodactyl (more correctly Pterosaur) are generally known to not have co-existed, since the Pterosaur is extinct by the end of the Cretaceous period, with no allowance made for the claims of those who believe the fossil record is there to test faith.
This is what happens when you take a perfectly-good straw liberal construct and try to use it for something general.
Cavemen, Pterodactyls.
Complaining about leftovers? Seriously? Complaining about leftovers? You couldn't work Hillary into it somehow? What about liberal guilt over the treatment of Indians?
"Thanksgiving...the early days" involves Pilgrims and Indians, for Christ's sake.
Also, man and Pterodactyl (more correctly Pterosaur) are generally known to not have co-existed, since the Pterosaur is extinct by the end of the Cretaceous period, with no allowance made for the claims of those who believe the fossil record is there to test faith.
This is what happens when you take a perfectly-good straw liberal construct and try to use it for something general.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Those damned debates
What's Mallard raving about today?
Debates, Experts, TV Viewers.
Debates, Experts, TV Viewers.
ExpertsYou're welcome.say that they can nowpredictwith certainty that...the next presidential debate....will have more TV Viewers....thanit has people onstagedebatersing.
Friday, November 16, 2007
That damned Hard Place
What's Mallard raving about today?
Confiscatory Taxes, Profligate Pending.
For Christ's sake, Mallard, do you not understand the English language?
When one is caught between a rock and a hard place, one is in a position where you have to choose between unpleasant alternatives.
This metaphor, in no way, describes the relationship between taxes and government spending. If anything, that is a cause-and-effect relationship.
Also, how stupid are your actual readers that you feel the need to put a "you are here" sign in?
Confiscatory Taxes, Profligate Pending.
For Christ's sake, Mallard, do you not understand the English language?
When one is caught between a rock and a hard place, one is in a position where you have to choose between unpleasant alternatives.
This metaphor, in no way, describes the relationship between taxes and government spending. If anything, that is a cause-and-effect relationship.
Also, how stupid are your actual readers that you feel the need to put a "you are here" sign in?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)