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Friday, November 16, 2007

That damned Hard Place

What's Mallard raving about today?

Confiscatory Taxes, Profligate Pending.

For Christ's sake, Mallard, do you not understand the English language?

When one is caught between a rock and a hard place, one is in a position where you have to choose between unpleasant alternatives.

This metaphor, in no way, describes the relationship between taxes and government spending. If anything, that is a cause-and-effect relationship.

Also, how stupid are your actual readers that you feel the need to put a "you are here" sign in?


BillyWitchDoctor said...

So true, DaveyK, every word of it.

"Confiscatory" taxes. As opposed to what, Tinsley? Voluntary donations? Yeah, that'll work.

"Profligate" spending. Like "confiscatory taxes," the extra buzzword makes it sound so very evil and wrong, but what programs does Tinsley consider profligate? To me, it's The War With No End shoveling millions into contractors' pockets, unneeded agricultural subsidies, Republican Senator Ted Stevens' "bridge to nowhere," and all the other plots to divert government revenue to the already-obscenely-wealthy.

To Tinny, based on past strips, it's probably medical coverage for the poor, public education, and veterans' benefits.

As for the strip itself: it's not "between a rock and a rock," Tinny--but that's probably asking far too much of your limited abilities. Still, did you have to make the victim look like he's hugging the boulders?

...You know, on reflection, I think I like this strip. The two immobile boulders are easily avoidable, yet the obese Mr. YouAreHere seems to have deliberately stuffed himself into the impassible crevice between them. If you take all this as a critique of the "tax simplification reform" hailed in Tinsley's strip two days earlier, it's actually quite brilliant.

NW said...

um...I don't think he's HUGGING the boulders.

BillyWitchDoctor said...

Didn't say he was, NW--just that it LOOKS like it, because of Tinny's half-assed artwork. (Guess it was just too much trouble to draw the guy's face. Speaking truth to power through slapdash scribbling must be SO exhausting!)

confused said...

[I think NW was hinting that they guy is doing something else to the boulders... ]

I actually believe Tinsley does think his readers are stupid. He's consistantly frustrated as to why we don't all think like him.

dlauthor said...

What's with the flat surfaces on both rocks, too? It looks like someone cut a couple slices of new Pepperidge Farms Boulder Loaf.

(And that's Tinshley in a nutshell: can't even draw a rock well.)

GeoX said...

...but the real question is, could Rockwell draw a rock well?

Matt Ramone said...

You know, if no one pays taxes, there's no government. If there's no government, it's by definition anarchy. MALLARD FILLMORE IS AN ANARCHIST WHO ADVOCATES OVERTHROWING THE US GOVERNMENT OH PLEASE LOCK HIM IN GITMO!

I have an idea. If Bruce Tinsley doesn't like all the benefits he receives from all the confiscatory taxes he pays, he'll stop getting them. No police protection when people beat him useless in the streets. No fire department when his house burns down. No medical services when he wanders into the emergency room bleeding. He's also not allowed to deal with anyone who did go to public school - good luck buying whiskey from the fifth-grade droput at the liquor store, Tin Man.

I guess I can sort of understand why Tinny hates paying taxes. Since they tax the hell out of booze, he probably pyas twice as much as the average American.

12xuser said...

For this to make sense, the "profligate spending" must be the taxpayer's. Tinsley's point, one week out from Black Friday, is that we should stop our mindless consumerist overspending so that we can make way for more confiscatory taxes.

factinista said...

Oh please. Does he really think we shouldn't have to pay taxes? Three words: ARTICLES OF CONFEDERATION. There was no national tax system, and look how well that worked.

Of course Tinsley probably wouldn't care what's happening to the country as long as he doesn't have to pay his "confiscatory taxes." (Man, he loves that phrase. And yet he's the one complaining about "trite, overused phrases.")

At least he's actually talking about politics now instead of pointless rambling about electronics stores.

Dave Robidenza said...

how stupid are your actual readers

Dumb enough to not realize that the faux MF cartoon in America: The Bookwas a parody.

I'd say dumb enough to believe Mallard's GOP talking points as well, but that would be cheating.

exanonymous said...

Hey, Mallard, if taxes are so evil and wrong, there's this guy with a beard in a cave who wants YOU to join him according to his video.

See, that's how you make a rock and hard place scenario.

BillyWitchDoctor said...

confused said: [I think NW was hinting that they guy is doing something else to the boulders... ]

Oh, Lord. I...I see.
That explains Mr. YouAreHere's "wide stance."

Man, does EVERYTHING have to be sexually symbolic with Limp-Pencil Tinsley? Now I have to figure out if the boulders represent giant boobs, or if the whole thing means "getting (one's) rocks off."