Project Wonderful Banner

Thursday, November 08, 2007

That damned dog smell

What's Mallard raving about today?

Designer dogs.

"Why would anyone buy an expensive 'designer dog' when you could get one....from a shelter and save its life?"

Because this is America, Mallard. And here in America, people are entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness no matter what a sanctimonious waterfowl thinks of their choices.

Why do you hate America so much?


Anonymous said...

It doesn't happen often, but today Mallard outpoints Mr. Blogger here.

BillyWitchDoctor said...

I'm going to have to agree with Anonymous. DaveyK is correct (about both choice and Mallard's sanctimoniousness) but, astonishingly, Mallard has the high moral ground--even though it's probably the most well-traveled high ground in the universe. (Again, the worst Mutts is vastly superior to the best Mallard.) Tinsley isn't saying the choice shouldn't be available, just that the shelter option is better.

I'm still wondering what happened to Mallard's allergy to dogs.

And why Chet's chin turned into a big fat d***.

exanonymous said...

Yes, Mallard, why would anyone want to do that? Well, up to 30% of tested Americans are allergic to dogs. So to have a dog, they have to get a certain breed which requires them to go to a breeder. The other option is none at all.

Want a BETTER way to save the dogs? Donate time, money, and food to your local shelter. Takes a bit more work, but it saves a lot more lives. Instead of buying beer, buy dry dog food that isn't from China!

And Mallard does hate America. There's not a week goes by where he doesn't manage to insult his readership. I've justified buying from a breeder but I've never assumed that Americans are so whimsically stupid as to follow a few celebrities and abandon adopting dogs from shelters en mass. This is a "let's laugh at the stupid people who don't do what I did and assume it's a majority of people" strip.

12xuser said...

At the Humane Society down the road from my house, the dogs that make it to the sale area are definitely not going to be destroyed. They are going to be there until they are sold. The Humane Society doesn't want people to come in thinking that if they don't buy that dog, it's going to be killed.

This is all just Mallard's way of poking fun at people who buy expensive things because they happen to be fashionable. If he didn't take on Dick Chin and his Labrashnoowhatever, he might have to question why people buy those Godawful massive SUVs and pickup trucks when you can get to work much more economically in a little econobox. Of course, those people are his target market, and he wouldn't want to upset them.

Matt Ramone said...

I almost kind of want him to say "Ellen" and get it over with. We all know that's what this is about, and I hate waiting to know which day he's going to say it.

How come in this strip all the rich people are well-to-do straw libruhls? I mean, the wealthiest people on the planet are conservative tightwads (by and large - I'm generalizing here). How come there's never a fat cat CEO, say, buying a new summer home with the money he didn't give his employees for a Christmas bonus? I'm sure that's populist enough to appeal to his base.

factinista said...

This is probably the preachiest, most self-righteous thing I have seen in my life. Most people I know would get a dog from a shelter given the choice. Mallard just likes to make it seem like he's in the minority on this issue so he can act all holier-than-thou.

So in other words, it's just like every other MF strip ever.

Kaitlyn said...

He does have a good point.


Of course "Mutts" is so much better and less preachy and penis-y.

Anonymous said...

"But Bruce is just standing up for the poor widdle puppies!" Oh, please.

Tinsley doesn't care about homeless dogs any more than he and his collegues care about the plight of homosexuals in Iran.

Indeed, his faux concern is all the more offensive because he's coopting a legitimate issue to support his hateful agenda.

Kaitlyn said...

Volunteering at a shelter is hard - you can't afford to adopt all the dogs, and the 3 you have at home are never happy - you smell like other animals, you bring home others...

We got one dog from a shelter - our only purebred, in fact. A cocker spaniel.

Dixie - ad in the paper. This woman adopts so many strays and one of them was pregnant. I got a puppy!

Mikey and Wickett - friends didn't want them, neither do we. But they're here to stay.

Jasmine - a border collie/tailless something mix - was bought as a puppy from a breeder, I think.

As soon as we returned to the states in '95, we adopted a shelter dog.

College sucks. No dogs allowed in the dorm rooms. Species-ists!

Unless I can convince them Wickett's a fish. Harder would be convincing Wickett that he likes to live in a fish tank. Hmm.

Kaitlyn said...

Yes - his sudden humanitarianism is not like him at all and only serves to attack liberals. (Is Ellen liberal? Doesn't matter - she's GAY!)

Kaitlyn said...

And I found out I was allergic to dogs a couple months after we got Dixie.

So an allergic reaction to dogs doesn't mean you can't get one. If it's just one of many allergic triggers - pollen, grass - you may take a prescription.

And I fully believe that my immune system adjusted to my dog's dander, and only theirs, so my shelter days were followed by long showers and benadryl and sleep.

Kaitlyn said...

Difference between Mallard and Mutts this week - Mutts isn't condemning anybody, just telling happy stories.

Mallard has to have an enemy.

exanonymous said...

I'm allergic, but cats a little less so than dogs, and exposure usually lessens the impact over time. I can't breath easily or sleep in a house with dogs, even while taking my prescriptions that are supposed to keep me going through pollen, ragweed, and everything else under the sun.

My Aunt, however, is completely unable to even be in the same room with something that has dander without risking being unable to breath completely, prescriptions included. Searching shelters wasn't a great option, it had to be done by a third party and people don't just throw out purebreed poodles.

Kaitlyn said...

ex - they do throw out purebred labs and any other dog that goes from 10 pound cute puppy to 50-60+ pound behemoth.

It's sad - these are expensive purebreds, dumped for acting like... their breed.

As for allergies, everyone has a different tale.

Kaitlyn said...

I just meant allergies don't always exclude dog ownership.

I wonder if ducks are really allergic to dogs?

Ginger loved to kill birds and bury them around the yard. She once had a duck - we think it got sick and fell and hit our shed, since we saw no feathers or blood.

Mikey stalked and killed a baby bird. He's a poodle mop.

So yes, Mallard needs a lab or some other hunting dog... or does he not hunt?

His moral high ground about dogs reminds me of him riding his bike to work (ducks can't ride bikes, though I saw it on Arthur once) - he had to have an adversary. It wasn't enough that he did something good, somebody else had to do something bad.

BillyWitchDoctor said...

Totally off-topic, but relevant to one of Tinny's recurring subjects:

...ya think Tinsley will cry about THIS speaker at Columbia University?

Kaitlyn said...

Were there pies?

Kaitlyn said...

I can't believe no one has said anything about the real new dog smell - puppy breath.

exanonymous said...

Mallard is condemning people and that's why I take issue.

Adopting an animal takes serious consideration. If someone needs something specific that requires them to go to a breeder as opposed to a shelter, than that's their choice, and that the circumstances define which is better and to imply that it's because the person purchasing the dog is shallow, callous, or arrogant is a senseless punch.

Mostly, I don't personally give a damn where someone gets their animal having known people who have bought from pet stores, breeders, strays, or shelters. Shelters and strays get bonus points, but since dogs from any of those places are already born and existing and must go somewhere, the morality of the issue for me exists solely in how they keep them once they have them.