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Thursday, December 17, 2009

Those damned Exchanges

What's Mallard raving about today?

Males, Females.

Wow, what kind of hell must Mallard have put Mrs. Mallard through this year if he's gotta give her a Lexus?

21 comments:

Tog said...

Just think, in a little over one week, Tinsley will end this period of Tinsley-lite and devote one strip to the pretense that he willy, willy wuvs the baby Jeebus.

...Then, having reaffirmed his pious-Christian superiority, he'll go right back to being the hate-filled crank he's been all the rest of the year.

It's like watching a small child trying to fool Santa into believing he's been a good boy.

deepbeep said...

Also, our planet is lumpy and no longer spherical, and Africa is crashing into Florida. Xmas is probably the least of our worries.

exanonymous said...

What about razors?

Randy said...

deepbeep, just don't you go getting any crazy ideas about there being anything to that crazy plate-tectonics just-a-theory, now!

Steve-O said...

Still waiting for the Mallard "comic" decrying the fact that women make less money than men for doing the exact same job.

wavydavy said...

I dunno, maybe he imagines himself as a cross between Tiger Woods and Kobe Bryant in the studly department.

Nah, couldn't be -- they are both the wrong color (not that racism exists any more or that Tinkley is a racist).

Steve-O: Now THAT (your comment) is funny. I believe hell will freeze over, thaw, and freeze again before that will happen.

John Ball said...

To answer DaveyK's question--I don't think Tinsley remembers. I think the scenario went something like this--he woke up in a pool of sick, and his wife was crying, and there were china fragments scattered around him...

rewinn said...

DaveyK - on the evidence, there seems to be an asymmetry of affection in the Mallard household:

Mr.: "Here, honey, here's a diamond and a Lexus. That's how much I love you!"

Ms.: "Here, honey, here's a bottle of aftershave. Uhm, yeah, same back at you!"

Alternatively:

Ms.: "That's not a bottle of aftershave you dolt, it's a bottle of very expensive Scotch!"

Mr.: "That's ok, it all ends up the same way. Down the hatch!"

Steve-O said...

Maybe if Tinsley didn't smell like B.O., dried up puke, and malt liquor he'd get something besides aftershave.

dlauthor said...

We all know Tinshley gives his wife a crudely doodled duck on a damp bar napkin every Christmas. And then the real gift -- passing out on the couch and leaving her in peace.

Sarah said...

As a female, I have to wonder what planet these guys are looking at, 'cause it sure isn't Earth.

Tog said...

Tinsley isn't talking about what people actually give each other. Check the first sentence again. He's talking about the meeeeeeeedia. The evil meeeeeeeedia.

'Course, half the cars in the Lexus commercials are being given to guys, but pointing that out would conflict with Tinsley's victimhood. ...And that would mean YOU'RE racist!!

exanonymous said...

Dumb lazy males are likely to make expensive, impulsive, and ultimately dumb purchases. They are also prone to sitting in front of the television. Hence the commercials.

Females who spend money are usually more active, outgoing, and so are advertised to in the form of newspaper ads and store sales. Generally they avoid aftershave unless it's a gift for her because it smells good on him.

Or he's so busy lounging in front of the television and the only desire he communicates is for her to fetch another beer and move out of the way. Then she hard pressed to get a thoughtful gift and he ends up with aftershave.

The free market works with stereotypes.

Anonymous said...

Tinsley is looking forward to that Aqua Velva; it's 40% alcohol after all! (To be non-partisan, Kitty Dukakis endorsed its taste several years ago.)

Bill the Splut said...

Hey, that alien doesn't have a nose or mouth, just some sort of organ that sucks! I name this sucky thing a "Tinsley."

WV: raphablo; what a Tinsley is called when it's ralphing or totally blows.

Kip W said...

The only thing worse than commercial media is non-commercial media!

That said, this comic is full of win, just by not having Mallard in it. I think that's worth a Pulitzer, if there's not a Nobel for newspaper strips.

Kaitlyn said...

Does this all happen in the same commercial?

I've seen the commercials where the guy gives the woman diamonds or a car, but I can't recall a commercial focusing on the woman buying something for the man.

MartyRotten said...

Wonder how long he'll own the Lexus before he drunkenly wraps it around a telephone pole driving home from the bar.

Ducky is Right said...

If you buy your wife a Lexus for Christmas, you DESERVES to only get some aftershave moron. Putz.

Sooo, Ducky is angry that the free market is trying to get people to buy their product? I'm lost.

Rootbeer said...

Yes, the entire planet is observing this ritual... even though 2/3 of us don't practice Christianity, and at least 1/5 live in such dire poverty that we will die without having ever seen a Lexus, much less purchased one.

Get out of here, Nebulon. No one likes your style.

Kip W said...

I'm forgetting who Mrs. Mallard is again. Is she the beanbag or the TV?