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Friday, June 24, 2011

That damned Poll

What's Mallard raving about today?

NBC News, President Obama

Given that the majority of all Americans agree with that statement, results tend to be skewed in that direction anyway.

Which makes your pretend poll results a lot less shocking than my pretend poll, in which I found that 100% of Fox employees, as a condition of employment, must accept that President Obama is a Kenyan-born Marxist, who is literally bent on destroying America, probably the Anti-Christ, and even if he weren't all those things, still less qualified to be President than a boiled potato who belonged to the Republican Party.

If media bias ever existed (and truthfully the meme of Liberal Media bias can be traced back to Nixon and his paranoid brain), it is no longer a driving force behind Corporate-driven News, whose bias is toward whatever suits the parent company.

So, in summary, you're an idiot.


CW in LA said...

It's starting to bug you that none of the rethugs' menagerie of nonentities, morons, and freak shows is capturing the public's imaginations, isn't it, Brucie?

Kip W said...

I think the joke here must be that the duck is hallucinating. That would explain why his chair is melting.

Oddly enough, if Fox News only had 97% solidarity on an issue like that, the next announcement would be that they were laying off 3% of their employees.

Frank Stone said...

Obama is "a much better president than any of the Republican candidates"? So each of the Republican candidates is also a president?

It's called "writing a coherent sentence", Brucie. Learn it. (Oh, who am I kidding?)

And I see the colorist is back to doing Brucie's job for him, establishing where the floor is so Mallard doesn't look like he's floating in midair.

David in NYC said...

I dunno, Frank. Don't you think that Mallard should look like he is floating in mid-air, since that's probably how it looks to Brewski after some "research".

Tog said...

Of course, when there's a GOP goober in charge, "polls don't matter."

I think Batshit deliberately left out Mallard's chair to distract readers from noticing that the daily cocktail of crap food, radiation exposure, and his creator's alcohol consumption has caused Mallard's penis to mutate into another foot to replace the left foot, which has withered away and dropped off.

Bill the Splut said...

I think every comic strip would be improved if it consisted of nothing but a single drawing of some blank-faced and silent, apparently boneless slob staring at a TV while it narrates the strip's content!

"This just in....Charlie Brown is going to kick a football, but nope, Lucy pulled it away! He has fallen."

"According to our super-liberal MSM lying sources, a boy and his stuffed tiger are racing a sled down a hill dangerously. Then one of them said a punchline."

"Crimes have been committed, and Dick Tracy and the Phantom dealt with them over the course of several weeks. Minorities are the REAL racists!"

"Doonesbury made a reference against racism. BUT THERE IS NO RACISM IN AMERICA! And Doonesbury so sucks. A Scotsman told me."

"This just in....Mallard is watching a TV show of Comic-Strip Spiderman watching a TV show of Mallard watching TV. GIMME MONEY FOR THIS, REVEREND MOON!"

Steve-O said...

Step 1: Pull made-up poll out of ass.

Step 2: Make asinine comments about data in made-up poll pulled from ass.

Step 3: Profit?

DiR said...

Tog, don't forget, "Deficits don't matter".

Yes, yes, jewy liberal news is jewy and liberal. That stopped being obnoxious twenty years ago. Now it's just tedious and tired.

Must be nice to be this bad at your job, and know you won't be fired. He's like the Dan Snyder of political comics.

rewinn said...

Garfield minus Garfield is brilliant.

Mallard Fillmore minus Mallard Fillmore would be nothing but reichwing talking points.

See the difference?

P.S. What does it mean when a book of comic strips from which the lead character has been deleted still sells more copies than Mallard Fillmore?

CW in LA said...

It's not hard to guess how the Tinsh, his rotten little duck, and Anonymelonfucker all feel about what the great state of New York has just done. So let me be I hope the first to say: