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Friday, July 29, 2011

That damned Stand-Up

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama

Wake me when its over.

14 comments:

Andrew said...

So, Obama's teleprompter is repeating things Obama said WHEN HE WASN'T READING OFF A TELEPROMPTER?

Does Tinsley actually think AT ALL about just the simple logic behind his premises?

Oh, wait. No. No, he doesn't.

Sorry to take up your time.

Verification: nierm- where Tinsley likes to keep the bottle.

Tog said...

Second verse, same as the first. And the third, and the seventh, and the fourteenth...

Note to regular, non-ironic Mallard readers: If all Batshit's got is "Teleprompter!" and "Arugula!!," then Obama must be doing a MUCH better job than FOXPropaganda would have you believe.

Tinsley: Sociopath said...

This has finally driven me to suicide, so as I have my final dying hallucinations, let me comment on this series of pointless rants on a single subject that makes no sense with the same originality and comprehensibility as Tinsley:

JUSTDIE! TINSRRRRRRRREY! Tinsley! Bag Fuck! Tinsley is the famous purple stuffed worm in red rock space who does a raw blink on hari-kari rock! Somebody set up us the bomb of a premise! Hear is a graveyard of your terrible ideas! Conglaturation fol praying letaldation game don't see you next time!

Word Verification: Cathakin, which are crawling into my skin and eating my brain and that is fun because Mallard Fillmore has destroyed my perception of reality.

dlauthor said...

Has anybody checked the obituaries from Angry Lush, Indiana, or wherever, Tinshley's from? I'm beginning to think he may have died a month ago, and what we're seeing is the result of some kind of software that was meant to replace him, but was never fully tested and ended up stuck in Default Telepromptarugula Mode.

I suppose we could also see if there's suddenly a spate of bars and liquor stores that have had to close due to sudden lack of business, too.

Bill the Splut said...

I think Tinny's developed OCD, and strips about "Obama speak funny" are his equivalent of washing his hands exactly 142 times a day.

WV: tornst; "Odds bodkins! Methinks yon hack, well into his cups, is tornst betwixt base poltroonery and a foul brain-pox!" (exits, pursued by a bear)

Bruce Tinsley said...

OBAMA TALKS FUNNY WHY AINT YALL LAUGHIN,WHY! IT'S FUNNY! LOOK LOOK HE MADE A GOOF AND MESSED UP HAW HAW HAW, LAUGH, COME ON IT'S FUNNY!

WAIT WAIT LOOK AT THIS ERROR HE MADE TWO YEARS AGO, DATS FUNNY RITE?! *snortle,chug,chug,pass out*

Kaitlyn said...

I thought the "silly season" didn't start until August. Things happened this month. Things of a political nature.

Things a political cartoonist may put into a political comic.

Or he could do what Doonesbury does (balance) and explore the lives of his many interesting characters.

Is the "totus" replacing Rush?

Steve-O said...

My anti-Tinsley haiku:

Redundant "comics" suck
Stop fucking doing that Tinsley
Forget it Fuck off

Steve-O said...

Fail! too many syllables in first line.

Try again:

Repeat "comics" suck
Stop fucking doing that Tinsley
forget it fuck off

rewinn said...

Smith: "Ask me what's the important element in comedy?"

Jones: "OK, what's the most ..."

Smith [interrupting]: "TIMING!"

===

What sets today's "comic" ahead of so many "Mallard Fillmores" is not the mediocre graphics (they don't really add anything to the humor; note that the duck has to TELL US that it's a teleprompter...) or the middle-schooler writing (the first panel is especially wordy) but the fact that its timing is off ...

... by TWO YEARS!

Next: Obama's teleprompter tries to give away the Panama Canal!!!!

DiR said...

Mallard Filmoore: Because your newspaper deserves the political cartoon equivalent of a screaming child demanding that mommy buys him a happy meal.

Neo Tuxedo said...

It's about repetition, rewinn. If Tinsley doesn't periodically remind his target audience of some allegedly stupid thing Obama allegedly said, some of them might notice that the Republican Party leadership are a bunch of fuck-corpses who act as if they were placed on this green Planet of the Clocks for the sole purpose of shitting in every nest they could find, albeit only after robbing them and selling the babies to oil sheiks' harems.

rewinn said...

@Neo - one can imagine a sort of Church of Conservativism where the chants are, not the Latin that no-one remembers the meaning to, but bumperstickers about things no-one remembers:

"57 states clean and articulate teleprompter birth Kenyan bust of Winston Churchill AMEN!"

Kip W said...

So this roomful of GOP comedians are telling jokes by the numbers, because they know them all.
"57!" Big laughter.
"Fifty... seven." Bigger laughter.
"57!!" No laughs. He just doesn't know how to tell 'em!