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Monday, December 12, 2011

That damned Gift

What's Mallard raving about today?

Gifts, Women

Mallard continues his assault on Christmas with the double-pronged attack of
  1. Using the politically-correct "Holidays" rather than calling it Christmas
  2. Being a complete and total asshole, without a single redeeming quality

15 comments:

Tog said...

So remember, ladies, gifts for women (Batshit refuses to use the term "opposite sex" even when it's appropriate because it's just "political correction gone mad") are, like women themselves, shameful things that should be dealt with in secret and seclusion. Also, screw local brick-and-mortar mom-and-pop stores! And screw you too, America!!

Mallard Fillmore, bold champion of truth-to-power-speaking, is terrified of rude clerks. (Or at least pretends to be so that Batshit may justify his refusal to interact with other humans.)

But credit where it's due: Diana Gabaldon is, according to Wiki, an American author of Mexican-American and English ancestry, so Mallard's really taking a bullet here for the woman he occasionally fantasizes about murdering. See? He's not racist! YOU are!

Given Batshit's strips of the past several days, I expected Mallard to give Chantel a half-eaten box of his generic snack food gone stale.

rewinn said...

Why would asking for a book mean getting hit on by a gay store clerk?

Is Tinshley sharing a moment that dare not say its name?

Not that there's anything WRONG with that ...

Kip W said...

Mallard is thinking he should have gone with his gut and gotten Chantel that big box of tampons at Costco.

Toots McGee said...

Check out Tinsley's earlier, similarly themed mentiono of Diana Gabaldon (2/11/2009)

Tinsley's regifting his own insanity!

CW in LA said...

...AND his own inanity.

dlauthor said...

Between this and the whole Twilight saga, methinks Tinshley's a bit worried that other people might think he's a big girly faggy fag fag. Maybe a wee bit overly worried, actually.

Also, who wants to bet that Gabadon is one of his wife's favorite authors, and that he only knows she* exists because he sometimes finds Gabadon novels on top of his Post-It-festooned Glenn Beck "books," underneath his stale empties, or both?

* Gabadon or his wife. Take your pick.

Miss D said...

So being seen with this book is so humiliating that one should buy it online, or only emasculated men would be seen with this book? I guess Tinsley's wife had a copy of this book and refered to it as historical fiction. Tinsley then picked it up and when he got to the part about slavery, he started screaming, "Don't people listen to Michelle Bachmann! There was no slavery!"
But at least now we know why he drinks so much. It's the only way he can come out.

Steve-O said...

Couldn't Tinsley save a lot of time and just write the words "I am a massive dick" in every panel? He could even change the background occasionally just to keep it fresh.

Frank Stone said...

Now, Steve-O, that was uncalled for. You know perfectly well that Brucie can't draw backgrounds.

Steve-O said...

True Frank, but can't a guy dream? haha.

Bill the Splut said...

Aww, it's okay, Bruce. We know that the gifts you buy online to preserve your masculinity are Viagra and penis pumps.

Anonymous said...

Tinsley thinks everyone who reads, works in retail or gives to others is gay and condescending and intelligent, all qualities that he hates.

I see Tinsley has discovered video games and formulated better arguments. (https://wwws.whitehouse.gov/petitions/!/petition/immediately-ban-deadly-videogame-known-skyrim-safety-americas-youths/YmY1bLQ5) I think the numbers show how much the young and technologically-experienced support Republicans.

Anonymous said...

Word Verification for the last post: Thess, Tinsley should conthess to being a creature spawned from Hell to destroy the world.

Word Verification for this: Arrow, an arrow pointing from Tinsley's policies to the results of implementing one of those policies would lead to an endless void.

Marion Delgado said...

I hate all the bickering in the comments on this blog!

Try to get along, people!

Half of you say tinsley can't draw foregrounds, the other half insists he can't draw backgrounds.

You're both right!

Kip W said...

Marion Delgado, the problem is accentuated because Tinsley automatically excludes all the middle ground.