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Thursday, March 08, 2012

That damned Constraint

What's Mallard raving about today?

Jeremy Lin

Well, now this has veered into truly creepy territory. But, you know, I am sure Jeremy Lin was inspired by a fetishized Asian-American child character in Mallard Fillmore.


Tog said...

Batshit: "So if you think about it, Lin OWES me at least one dust angel! Pleeeeeease?"

Kip W said...

So Li'l Rush has a basketball permanently spot-welded to his right hand? Is that to cover up that he has four and a half fingers on that one as well?

Careless, lackluster drawing with no attempt to make it look like they're doing anything in particular. It's TINSANITY!

Toots McGee said...

Oh, so "comic strip constraints" are to blames for MF's shortcomings?

Steve-O said...

As usual Mallard Fillmore is as timely as ever. It seems that "Linsanity" has run its course, at least outside of New York. But let's not let that get in the way of Tinsley crapping out a few asinine "comics" full of ignorance and bordering on racism.

Rootbeer said...

"Wataru Misaka broke the NBA color barrier when he played for the New York Knicks in the 1947–48 season." [Wikipedia page: "Asian American"]


Andrew said...

Let's face it- Tinsley's just hurt he won't be able to use that joke anymore (not that it was accurate before, as noted above).

VERIFICATION: "ssenew oadmind"

"Shince you're already arreshting me fer DUI, ssenew oadmind me pissing on your shoes, right, offisha?

Worse Than Liefeld's Before Watchmen said...

I wonder if Rush's father knows his best friend is the Mary Sue of the man who has kept him a small, ignorant, vulnerable child for almost 20 years?

Comedies that have done the joke far better than someone a billion times smarter than Tinsley, and therefore only slightly retarded, could:

Family Guy

However, that is like comparing apples to a poisonous field of shit that you have to swim through to escape from torture.

Worse Than Liefeld's Before Watchmen said...

Maybe Tinsley can make a Crisis on Infinite Earths-style change that reboots everyone as old and decrepit, like himself. He would consider Crisis on Infinite Earths not as an apocalypse, but as a way to get rid of all his enemies, though.

dlauthor said...

It hasn't been a "comic constraint" since For Better or For Worse started aging its characters, which was, what, three damn decades ago?

If only Tinshley had chosen to do it that way. Ducks only live 20-something years, after all.

Anonymous said...

Aww, that's kinda cute...for Millard!

MartyRotten said...

So the real question is: How long has Bruce Tinsley been 8 years old? And how old (mentally) would he be if he quit drinking?

rewinn said...

Jeremy Lin: "I could have stayed home and played Nintendo every day, but I read Mallard Fillmore and am inspired by the plucky, if undersized, Li'l Rush."

PRO TIP: a joke has to have a faint whiff of superficial plausibility to be funny.

Bill the Splut said...

I'd just like to point out that Candorville's theme this week is literally the main character washing fungus from his asshole, AND IT'S STILL FUNNIER THAN MALLARD. And classier.

Andrew said...

dlauthor- Hell, Gasoline Alley's been doing it for, what, 70 years or more?

Of course, then Tinsley would have to let Mallard age- and ducks only live 5-10 years*, so Mallard would be long dead by now...


...sorry, I was overcome by a sweet contentment there for a minute.

Yes, I actually looked it up and sourced it. Took about 1 minute, mainly because I forgot to copy the address. HOW HARD IS THAT?