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Monday, September 26, 2011

Those damned Revolutions

What's Mallard raving about today?

Arab Uprisings

If a Republican or Fox support it, we're for it. Otherwise, we're against it. Was that really so hard?

34 comments:

Tog said...

It's like Batshit thinks he can make us facepalm ourselves to death.

"See, these are BROWN people! It'll never work! They've NEVER been civilized! I'm NOT racist!"

DiR said...

"The government's not taking any chances: this time, we're on both sides."
That is the next line from the movie Bananas, which was made 40 years ago, and is the film that today's strip is ripping off.

Tucci said...

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words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words

words words words words words words words words words.

That should about cover everything right?

Tog said...

Tucci's "I've run dry of pompous faux-intellect and nerd-snot so here's some autopilot trolling" post (he couldn't even be bothered to lay down a few repeats of "liberal" bastards on us, laaaaame) is topped with a link to unibombermanifesto.com.

So it turns out the deeply-intellectual ubermensch so concerned for his "neighbors" (regardless of what subhuman swine he considers everyone else to be) has his tongue buried deep up the rotting rectum of another long-ranting, filthy, violent, delusional, lunatic wannabe world-beater who wasn't nearly as smart as he thought he was.

Wow, I'm surprised. Really I am.

exanonymous said...

Eh, I just think someone trolled the troll.

Kip W said...

The real answer to today's strip? "Who gives a crap about either side? I just want to leer at the anchor bimbo!"

CW in LA said...

Oh goody: TWO crotches today.

Rootbeer said...

OH MY GOD THAT GUY'S ARM IS BEING CRUSHED BETWEEN THOSE TWO CHAIRS

I'd rather focus on that than address the undertone of "why don't we just back off and let the sand people kill each other off?" that I'm picking up from the dialogue...

dlauthor said...

Sorry, guys -- I'm gonna be a bit late with my screed today. Ran out of rubbing alcohol to drink and need to find a store whose business model matches my economic theories, which I will express by shouting loud epithets at the shopkeepers with my underpants around my ankles. Once I've quieted the voices in my head and rubbed one out to the Fountainhead, I'll be in prime posting-small-novellas-everyone-tldrs-on-the-comment-section-of-a-minor-blog form. Toodles!

dlauthor said...

Whoops. Admin, please delete previous comment, and this one for good measure. Got distracted by work and accidentally posted under my name under Douchie the Tooch's. Doh.

stsylces said...

I'm keeping my powder dry, waiting for Douchie to make an appearance.

Steve-O said...

Wow, I somehow replaces my name with the wv in that previous post.

rewinn said...

Passing over the lazy art and timing of today's "comic" (...did anyone notice the Arab Spring stated two seasons ago?) let we ask (sincere ... if Bruce Tinsley is around ...) what is it about the universal desire for freedom that today's "Conservatives" think is innate only to Americans?

I mean, really. Our forefathers held certain truths to be "self-evident" and that the desire to be free of tyranny was part of the heart of being human. The desire is held down by tyrannies to be sure, but springs ups whereever it can, in all humans everywhere.

But today's cons seem to think that there is something special about the DNA of white people who moved to the middle part of North America that give us a special love of freedom that we don't see in "Middle Eastern Mobs" or commercial slaves in China or the sex workers on Rush Limbaugh's Dominican Republic vacation.

Why is this?

Have they so little faith in the dreams of our forefathers?

Steve-O said...

@rewinn, the answer to your question is, "yes".

This is full-blown Natavism masquerading as Patriotism.

As Al Franken eloquently put it, and I paraphrase, "Conservatives love their country like toddlers love their mommy and mommy can do no wrong." So of course, our desire for "freedom" is put on a pedestal by the right simply because it's "ours".

P.S., I'm beginning to think Douchie isn't going to show. Maybe they don't have internet access down at the halfway house?

Tucci said...

You are all wrong,But rather then condense my main idea into a concise paragraph I'm going to instead thrill you with a 9,000,000word ramble.

DiR said...

I call fake troll. Not enough words. I've seen this sort of thing before; I can tell by the pixels.

Fake, but accurate, verily.

Bill the Splut said...

My 78 year old mother works in a library, and she breaks down the people who line up to use their free net access the most as "job seekers sending out resumes, followed by perverts, followed by crazy people."

Tucci's just waiting for the Magic Box to free up from that guy using Monster.com, and the guy searching Google for "lolita pics."

Tinsley: Sociopath said...

Who should we support: The hateful, backwards fanatics who want to destroy our country, or the Democrats who are too cowardly to stand up to those Republicans?

Tucci emailed me a response to my comments yesterday:

"Our Nigger-in-Indian-Chief be plotting against the country with that company of yours! Keynes likes Ayn Rand's wonderful fascist utopia, like in my favorite Cliff Note on Tape, Dianetics! Communist monkeys from those evil brown countries are trying to take over our mind, and all you can think about is the poor and sick, who are rich and happy! We have to go back to the Stone Age, when everyone was white and perfect, like the pure snow of Australio-India!

Word verification: Foroggi, Tinsley and Tucci are both combinations of a four year old and an old fogey: A foroggi.

deepbeep said...

I get the feeling that Tinsley's opinion of the French Revolution is, "What's that?"

wv: rentar. The only alternative to being a millionaire when living in San Francisco or Manhattan.

Neo Tuxedo said...

Okay, I've suspected for a while that "Tinsley: Sociopath" was a clever troll exaggerating the typical tone around here just enough to take it over the top, and now I'm sure of it. His Tucci parody is much too short and coherent. Sorry, T:S, but you're not so hyclevnk after all.

Tucci said...

I've got to go with our malignant "mercantilist" pseudopatriot, rewinn on the fact that this one is a buncha months behind the curve.

You pitiful needledicks are neurotically fixated on Mallard Fillmore and (not being myself either a conservative or a "Liberal") I haven't given much of a damn about the strip the way all of you dorks do. Had Tinsley paid any attention to the "Arab Spring" whoop-te-do when it was actually news?

Factinista said...

Gee, people talk about Mallard Fillmore on a blog about Mallard Fillmore. What a shock.

Steve-O said...

Douchie hasn't been around long enough to figure out that Tinsley's lack of timeliness is a feature not a bug.

Tucci said...

Oh, yeah. Keeping with the "dismal science" focus on the economic reasons why the "Arab Spring" uprisings began (and why they aren't gonna go away no matter how much regime change they bring) there's that nasty old biofuels business hitting the fungible international markets in agricultural products.

Turn arable land and other resources over to the growth of corn (that's "maize" to the Euroweenies) in these United States for the production of fuel ethanol and it means that there's not only less land for wheat and rye cultivation but also less corn available to feed meat and dairy animals. Rising prices there have pushed up the cost of getting pork and hamburger and chicken to your supermarkets, and any of you "Liberal" schmucks who don't rely on your mommies to do all the shopping for you might have taken note of how much more expensive it's been getting to put a meal on the table over the past few years.

Back in July, even the "Liberal" fascist U.K. rag The Guardian took note of the "food riots" aspect of the Arab Spring phenomenon:

"People in Arab countries have always relied on bread as a low-cost source of sustenance. In Yemen alone there are more than 20 different kinds of bread, each made and baked differently. In Egypt, bread is known as aish, meaning 'life'. It is the inseparable companion of all dishes, even some desserts. The Fertile Crescent, stretching from the Egyptian Nile to the mouth of the Tigris and Euphrates, is where agriculture began, where wheat, lentils, chickpeas, sheep and goats and olives were first cultivated. Today, that same region is the largest importer of food in the world.

"When grain prices spiked in 2007-2008, Egypt's bread prices rose 37%. With unemployment rising as well, more people depended on subsidised bread – but the government did not make any more available. Egypt's annual food price inflation continued and had hit 18.9% before the fall of President Mubarak.

"Fifty per cent of the calories consumed by Egyptians originate outside its borders. Egypt is the world's largest wheat importer, and no country in the region (except for Syria) produces more than a small fraction of the wheat it consumes. Should the global markets be unable to provide a country's need, or if there are not enough funds available to finance purchases and to offer price support, then the food of the poor will become inaccessible to them. Already, in Egypt and Yemen, more than 40% of the population live below the poverty line and suffer from some form of malnutrition. Most of the poor in these countries have no access to social safety nets. Images of bread became central to the Egyptian protests, from young boys selling kaik, a breakfast bread, to one protester's improvised helmet made from bread loaves taped to his head. Although the Arab revolutions were united under the slogan 'the people want to bring down the regime' not 'the people want more bread', food was a catalyst."

Being lying, stupid warmistas, the Watermelon wankers at The Guardian (deliberately?) didn't make the connection between "biofuels" and the Middle Eastern riots, but anybody knowledgeable about international trade got it with no trouble at all.

You jerkwads being the antithesis of "knowledgeable," of course, couldn't get it if somebody engraved it on railroad spikes ane pounded one into each of your pointy little skulls.

CW in LA said...

"You pitiful needledicks are neurotically fixated on Mallard Fillmore"

For someone yammering incessantly about how much smarter he is than everyone else, Tucc-bag seems not very bright.

Steve-O said...

You aren't impressing anyone with your endless copypasta. Go fuck yourself Douchie.

Steve-O said...

Oh and no matter how hard you try, nobody's buying the "liberal fascist" bullshit either.

Again, go fuck yourself, Douchie.

CW in LA said...

Make you wonder if Jonah Goldberg really doesn't have anything better to do than troll a Mallard Fillmore blog.

Waaaaait, silly me; of course he doesn't.

Tucci said...

Not that anybody need give a pimple's worth of pus for your opinion, CW.

Even digging superficially into the connection between international food shortages caused by American and European biofuel policies and the Arab Spring outbursts that have been resulting in the overthrow of authoritarian Middle Eastern kleptocracies gives me reason to expect that no matter how much the surface political landscape changes in the Sandbox, the real root causes of this conflagration can't be resolved or even minimally mitigated by merely throwing out the thugs at the top.

Apart from petroleum, the economies of these intrinsically failed states in the Arab world don't put enough of anything onto the world markets that can pay for the increasingly expensive foodstuffs they need to import, and it's pretty obvious that where they've got even proven arable land (the Nile River valley had been the breadbasket of the Roman Empire), they suck as farmers.

A big part of that, admittedly, is the fact that they're still in thrall to the Euroweenies, and especially with the Tranzi prohibition of genetically modified (GenMod) crop strains in their Third World client states, getting the sorts of productivity that they need - and only modern industrial agriculture can deliver - has been impossible for the Arabs.

Anybody (conservative or "Liberal") stupid enough to think that the overthrow of Ben Ali and Mubarak and Gadhafi - and the goons still hanging on by their manicured fingernails in Syria and Yemen and Bahrain and Iran - will prove to be the end of this turmoil is going to experience the next year or so with the same kind of bafflement you Tinsley-twitched twats bring to your regard of American politics.

There was an article in The WSJ earlier this month based on an interview with the chairman and former CEO of Nestlé in which the point was made pretty clearly.

"'What we call today the Arab Spring,' Mr. Brabeck-Letmathe says [...] 'really started as a protest against ever-increasing food prices.'"

His focus on turning food crops into biofuel, Brabeck-Letmathe went on to say:

""If politicians of this world really want to tackle food security, there's only one decision they have to make: No food for fuel. . . . They just have to say 'No food for fuel,' and supply and demand would balance again."

So let's say that between the corporate welfare Rotarian Socialists of the Republican Party and the Watermelon "Liberal" fascists with whom the RINOs "go along to get along," we don't see in Mordor-on-the-Potomac some kind of epiphany about how truly and literally murderous is their determination to burn food instead of going with the economic sanity of "Drill, Baby, Drill!" (especially when it comes to oil- and methane-bearing deep shale fracking).

The industrialized western nations keep turning foodstuff calories into wastefully inefficient motor fuel, world food prices continue to climb, and the Arab countries' populations continue to suffer worsening protein-calorie malnutrition until they're looking at Somalia-style mass starvation.

Now, I know that you "Liberal" fascists have nothing remotely resembling either a brain or a conscience, but doesn't this prospect - this dead friggin' certainty - so much as flicker across what we'll charitably call your teensy, crippled little minds?

exanonymous said...

"Needledick liberals"?

I'd be very alarmed if I had male genitals of any size... along with the other 57% of liberals.

Tucci said...

Tch. exanonymous (a squatter instead of a shaker) stupidly misses my characterization of you masturbating "Liberal" fascist monkeys as "Tinsley-twitched twats."

I'm perfectly happy to pay appropriate attention to the distaff side. Certainly Billary, Pelosi, Michelle, and similar split-tail'd socialist scum offer ample support for the Kipling contention that "The female of the species is more deadly than the male."

Beef Wellington said...

Tucci like the rain or an itchy STD sticks around

rewinn said...

@Tucci wrote:
"Not that anybody need give a pimple's worth of pus for your opinion,..."

Ah, but you do need our opinions, @Tucci ... by your behavior, you very much do.

You're getting your @ss kicked over at Dr. Brin's blog, although he is very kindly asking people there to play nice with you because he hasn't see your racist screeds over here. I won't show him because he's a really nice guy ... truly the last sane Libertarian.

Meanwhile, thanks for confirming the general concensus here: you "conservatives" or "Randroids" or whatever you call yourselves these days do not love our country. You have never denied that you'd be fine with America as a 3rd-world hellhole, so long as it conformed to your anarchist fantasies.

Enjoy the attention; it's a fair trade. Your impotent rage amuses me!

exanonymous said...

Tucci, I didn't miss your point. To miss it, I would have actually had to attempted to find it.

You rabidly vomited your opinion all over this blog, which is why I don't read what you write. If you don't respect your own opinion, why should I? You're being as crass and argumentative as possible.

The fact that you take pleasure in sexually explicit insults tells me everything I need to know about your morality. I'm certain treating me with disrespect does not bother you in the slightest.

Also, I'm tending towards Poe's Law. Which means I don't even think you hold the opinion you claim to hold. Not that I know what your opinion is.