What's Mallard raving about today?
Slutty outfits drive out regular clothing at department stores. The free market works its magic once again.
Aw, is the Birkenfoods "epic" over already?Oh well, at least we get to see Mallard take a break from splaying his crotch at the teevee while fantasizing about killing Chantel and watching Li'l Rush roll around his filthy carpet...to lecture us on how women and little girls are all dirty whores.Issues?And speaking of whores, OH MY GOD, did anyone watch that circus the GOP calls a debate last night? Hoo hoo hoo! If you didn't, just look at this picture; even Newt can't figure out why he's there and Michele seems to have simply trimmed the arms of her straitjacket. Cain and Bachmann wanted to raise everyone's taxes (helloooooo teabaggers!), and Romney would NEVER be so foolish to hire those nasty ol' "illegals" while he's campaigning (cough cough). There was also apparently some very unpopular guy named Perry who was once in the running at some point.
Accurate, but thoroughly overused premise: Halloween has become an occasion for women (who are so inclined) to hit the town in slutty attire in lieu of traditional "costumes".Mixed in, oft made Mallard observation: School aged girls dress like little tarts.Adds up to jokey comparison in Tinsley's mind, but yeah, basically just reinforces creep factor.The artwork makes me think of some kind of sleezy news report with our duck "anchor" reporting live from the junior miss department, leering at the customers and commenting on how slutty they're all dressing "these days". Also, dumbest drawing of a clothing department, ever.
The Junior Miss department is also where you can reliably find Mallard Fillmore costumes as well. Oh, wait, that's not a costume. It's him again.
None of the voting options are similar enough to "creeped out" for me to click on.
Aww, and I was looking forward to more "Libruls eat nutritious food, haw haw".Well, creepitude IS a core wingnut value, after all.
I get what was trying to be done, but any editor would point out that this just seems REALLY CREEPY.
In the Juniors Section at most stores ... where I practically live! Geeze, guys, am I the first person to discover this! It's a yummy Kidapalooza I tell ya. But you can only wear your trenchcoat at Halloween, they think you're part of some sort of store display. -- Mallard "Dust Angels" Tinsley
Why not go as Che Guevarra, Tinsley? You love dictators who murder and torture innocent civilians, and you hate Latinos. Maybe you should go as Stalin, who is slightly closer to your unprecedented level of evil, and is also wrongly associated with Communism.Word Verification: Kybdefu, a word that makes far more sense than any Mallard Fillmore comic.
Dang, Mallard -- now I've got this song stuck in my head:Sitting on a park benchEyeing little girls with bad intentSnot running down his noseGreasy fingers smearing shabby clothesHey aqualungDrying in the cold sunWatching as the frilly panties runHey aqualungFeeling like a dead duckspitting out pieces of his broken luck
Damn, if "Aqualung" had a line about splaying crotches, it'd be like the Mallard Fillmore theme song.
Tinsley hates anyone who enjoys fucking or does it for any reason other than reproduction, thus he assumes that anyone who is sexually active is a pedophile rapist. He also hates modern trends such as being expressive and sexually active, and he hates the young because they embody those trends. He also hates the old because they are not babies, and therefore speak to him and try to lynch him whenever he speaks to them.Word verification: Enzmez, En'sMez bag fuck flame water attack in Zhiaouhugao street walkplace through elf zone of cloud city! Vietnamese Pokemon Crystal pirates make more sense than Mallard Fillmore.
Mallard: "Officer, did you see what she was wearing? She was begging me to put my duck dick in her! Those damn liberals, allowing women to dress in a way that makes us perverted ducks get horny!"
Bruce is not wholly wrong, except that he clearly has noooooo clue what women's clothing costs, especially the stylish crap teenagers where.Also, "girls these days dressing like whores" has been going on since no later then the 1920s. You're not clever pointing it out.
Ew. You can address this tired trend without being creepy, but why bother when you can be lazy and insult children?I miss Birkenfoods. I miss racism. I miss xenophobia and lies.They don't make me want to throw up and take a shower.
I'm with Kaitlyn: "Ew." I actually looked at my voting options yesterday and thought "Ew" should be among them — but where would it end? One day, "Ew" is most appropriate. The next, it might be "We don't really need to know that much about your mother, Tin Eye."
Hahaha! Woman are all sluts, from an early age! I find this hilarious!I guess the question on everyone's mind that they want a bottle of bleach to scrub out is "what is Mallard doing in the juniors section when he goes shopping?"
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