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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

That damned Old Guard

What's Mallard raving about today?

Taxes, a brave band of Republican reformers.

I confess I was unaware there was a House Rule that enabled a small group of Congressmen to pass a bill when everyone else is laughing. Not to fear, however. The drunken sailor currently occupying the Oval Office would never allow anything that might curb his ability to spend the next 20 generations into poverty.

5 comments:

BillyWitchDoctor said...

Tax simplification isn't Tinny's usual bag; his philosophy normally boils down to two points:

(a) DEMOCRATS TAX TAX TAX AND SPEND SPEND SPEND

(b) CUTTING TAX RATES SHOOTS REVENUE UP UP AND AWAY INTO THE STRATOSPHERE, SOMEHOW, SHUT UP IT'S TRUE AND YOU'RE A FOOL FOR NOT BELIEVING IT

Sadly, after so many years of Bushinomics, Tinny's been forced to occasionally acknowledge that Republicans are also expert at pissing money away, though he adheres to (b) in spite of all evidence to the contrary; I guess he's looking for a new pie in the sky.

I thought for a minute that the figure in the center of the strip (again with the pencil that needs Viagra!) was the sloppiest congressman on Earth, but now I'm assuming it's a taxpayer struggling to complete his 1040EZ. Won't somebody roll Tinny over and tell him it's November? And stop cramming your text against the margin like that, you idiot.

This is the first I've heard of this bill; naturally, since we're getting it from Tinsley, whose ideas on other reform issues are less than savory, I'm sure we're not hearing even half the story--and certainly NONE of the bill's fine print. Maybe you could've provided us with an asterisk, Tin-Tin?

(Atchka: "I should've used a potholder." A prize of 5000 Icelandic Honeyweeks to the first person to name the genuine related cultural reference!)

Anonymous said...

Somebody should tell him that it's the deductions, credits and expenses (you know, stuff used to LOWER you taxes) that make the tax code complicated.

Anonymous said...

Where's my asterisk, dammit!

The news:
http://tinyurl.com/2rblaz

The punchline:
"Each taxpayer would have the option of choosing whether to adopt this simplified tax code or to use the current system, the press statement said."

So it doesn't get rid of any of the loopholes or special interest deductions, doesn't reduce the size of the tax code at all, and everyone is going to have to figure their taxes both ways every year, to figure out which plan is the cheapest for them. That's REAL simplification.

Anonymous said...

In my head, I'm already imagining that this passes, but is not indexed for inflation. A few years from now, we might see a bum complaining that he has to pay the high 25% tax rate on the cans he collects. I think I need a nap.

Brian said...

A simplified tax system that lets me pay more taxes than I do now, and the rich pay less than they do now? Sign me up!