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Monday, March 03, 2008

That damned Uno

What's Mallard raving about today?

Uno, Steroids, Congress.

I certainly agree with Mallard that Congress making time to investigate steroid use in Major League Baseball represents a colossal set of misplaced priorities, what with the subversion of the Constitution and all that.

But couching this rather pedestrian observation in the manner Mallard chose simply underscores the fact that when one knows who won the Westminster Kennel Club one watches way, way, way, way, way too much TV.


factinista said...

Yes, beagles are adorable. A hideous drawing of what looks to be a cocker spaniel with a very angular tail, however, is not.

I think we have a nominee for next year's Golden Ellipses!

BillyWitchDoctor said...

Tinny seems to have recovered from his heartbreak over steroids in sports pretty well. But then, like most right-wing wankers, he's had to adjust his patented moral outrage a lot in the past few years when it comes to substance abuse...

Look, Tinny...just stop drawing dogs, okay? You suck at drawing most things, but it seems that dogs aren't your best friend, but your worst enemy.

TuxedoSlack said...

"A cow will not bite me and throw me in the basement. A cow is not a big spider."

Kaitlyn said...

Don't some dogs kill ducks?

My chow mix killed a chicken and chased another to its death. (It hid in barbed wire. Chickens are very very dumb, but not dumber than a certain duck.)

Anyways... I looked at this comic and went w.t.f does this have to do with ANYTHING? Besides mocking congress (ooh, the democrats control that!) and the steroid scandal.

I guess that's enough. I was hoping for more rites of passage.

Did anyone see the first Daily Show episode after the writers came back? The first story he did was on Westminster, as revenge. And John Oliver fainted. ::nods::

I saw the commercials on USA all the time and they were awesome - just shots of dogs being dogs to various songs - including "I'm Too Sexy".

But no, I didn't watch it! I never watch dog competitions, because they make me mad and then I want to start one, as a fundraiser-type thing for the Humane Society, and mutts would be allowed and the categories would be biggest goofball, who can catch the terrorist on their butt the fastest? etc, etc.


That was long.

Matt Ramone said...

Oh lord, everyone needs to read this immediately:

Things I learned from reading this poorly written, pedantic piece:

1. Tinsley is married
2. Tinsley is married to a "liberal civil rights lawyer"
3. Tinsley has procreated. Twice!
4. Tinsley is really, really, really jealous of Gerry Trudeau.
5. Tinsley is against the Iraq War, but has opted to not discuss it at all in his strips
6. Mr. DUI frets that people are moving further away from personal responsibility. How droll!

exanonymous said...

Matt: those are LIES spread by the evil liberal media.

Tinsley is really a duck living in filth and watching TV. Alone, except for the weird pedophilic sequences with Rush.

See, the liberal media doesn't like this portrayal of ducks so they attempt to give him a human face. To protect ducks.

Erich said...

#6 and "Personal responsibility": That wouldn't be hypocritical if Tinsley had admitted "I have a problem" or even "I made a mistake" after his second arrest...instead, he blamed it on the local police having a vendetta against him! Yeah, that's "personal responsibility" for ya...

Wish I could find the article where Tinsley made that comment...

Michael said...

Tinsley, 09/10/06: "I've never supported the war."

Meanwhile, this is the only depiction of antiwar sediments I could find in Mallard Fillmore:

What a cowardly hack.

Michael said...

Actually, Erich, the biggest hypocrisy was not following his own advice to get out of the tickets:

GeoX said...

I think you will find that "cuteness" is not one of the criteria for dog shows. But carry on.

Anonymous said...

That he's at least got the rudimentary IQ and sense of moral decency to oppose the Iraq War is a stunning piece of news, but it's more than counter-balanced by his cowardly refusal to buck Bush's main piece of idiocy. It's actually worse that he (supposedly) knows the war is wrong, but doesn't oppose it publically. The number of honest Democrats and Republicans who opposed the war from Day 1 is pitifully low.

BillyWitchDoctor said...

Strange; Bruce Tinsley's bio used to list two daughters. Now all I can find is two sons?


...But yes, Tinny's not only pantscrappingly jealous of Garry Trudeau, Tinny used to try to get to him years ago by attacking his wife (TV journalist Jane Pauley) in the strip*. Yessir, conservatives are civil and nice-nice while liberals are mean and fight dirty. (After all, conservatives marry liberals! But liberals won't marry conservatives! ...Wait, what?)

*I wanted to link to some of those old Pauley-bashing strips, but Goog'ing the name and "Mallard Fillmore" just dredged up some seriously vile right-wing wankery that I don't care to wade through.

factinista said...

Tinsley getting married to a liberal was probably his inspiration for Chantel in the comic. After the "Chantelicide" statement, it makes me wonder what state their relationship is in.