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Sunday, March 30, 2008

That damned Tattoo

What's Mallard raving about today?

Affirmative action.

Sometimes following Mallard's train of thought is like attempting to read Finnegans Wake, except insofar as I doubt there's any payoff to understanding Mallard.

After 15 days complaining about other crap, Mallard returns to Affirmative Action, who is still anthropomorphized into the Junta leader of a Banana Republic, replete with a giant "A" on his cap. In this installment, we learn the unlikely detail that he allowed someone to tattoo something on his left buttock without knowing what it said but found a way to read it at a later date.

And, for the record, Affirmative Action is nothing like what Orwell had in mind. He had Bush, Cheney, and the Republican Noise Machine in mind.

8 comments:

exanonymous said...

More of this?

READ THE STUDY, TINSLEY.

Don't just blather on ignorantly based on what was probably an email rant by one of your cronies. I can't confirm that, but I do know what this tired topic is NOT based on.

Recap:
5 universities studied
Explanations given for data beyond "Affirmative action hates on asian-americans"
Conclusion pro-affirmative action

BillyWitchDoctor said...

No, you see--the results are more likely to support Tinny if he doesn't read the study, but instead simply twists a bullet statement on the results into something that supports Tinny. See? Simplicity itself!

...In that sense, Tinny is a character straight out of Animal Farm--but certainly not a duck.

Man, if I were you, Tinny, I wouldn't bandy about the phrase "collateral damage" so lightly right now. Then again, if I were you, I'd be a vomiting drunkard with a single-digit I.Q. and delusions of grandeur unfettered by the real world--so who knows?

john said...

I like the idea that the tattoo artist would choose to tattoo that phrase on that guy's ass. That's almost funny.

Anonymous said...

The key word being "almost."

rewinn said...

Didn't Tinsley already establish that Mallard
hadn't been to journalism school
... and therefore must have been hired as a TV journalist for some other reason?

Was the duck hired for pan-species bimbo purposes (which would explain his frequent seminudity) or is he himself the beneficiary of Affirmative Action?

TuxedoSlack said...

is he himself the beneficiary of Affirmative Action?

The earliest strips established that, yes, WFDR only hired him to fill their Amphibious-American quota. (You may now laugh your xsnafb off at this cutting-edge komedy [sic].)

exanonymous said...

And... today's comic features Spitzer!

*pause for shock to take effect*

Ah, nevermind, no surprise there.

luke said...

Now that it's been brought up... I again have to point out that Tinsley thinks a duck is an amphibian.

I swear that will never, ever get old.