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Friday, July 04, 2008

That damned day

What's Mallard raving about today?

Independence Day, The Revolutionary War, Eminent Domain.

I'm sorry, we revolted against the British because of Eminent Domain and Bureaucracy?

Someone needs a history lesson.

And a grammar lesson since the Declaration of Independence is not a war, which makes Dave's comment about "that war" awfully confusing.


exanonymous said...

Americans fought long and hard to be ruled, cheated, and scammed by AMERICANS. And they were darn well aware of it: there wouldn't be a need for checks and balances if they felt that men would always be good and just.

And here's for Mallard for other holidays:

My grandmother choked to death on a tofu turkey, the dog died from the stuffing. -Happy Thanksgiving!

Dave's Diner is getting ready for that holiday, but we got sued and had to take down the Christmas tree. - Merry Christmas!

Classrooms won't teach creationism and some guy died in a gruesome and prolonged manner for us. - Happy Easter!

Nobody loves me and this holiday exists merely so that feminists can be hypocrites and demand my hardearned money. - Happy Valentine's Day!

factinista said...

Wait, what now? Regardless of what we did afterward, the British still surrendered. Sure, the republic may have since become a gruesome shell of its former self, but the enemy surrendering is kinda the definition of winning a war. What an idiot.

And they're quite obviously still building the place today. So whose Independence Day will it be open for, exactly?

12xuser said...

Goddamn, conservatives complain about the most mundane things - taxes, bureaucracy, government regulation. Listening to them, you'd think there wasn't a President, Congress and Supreme Court out there hell-bent on making war on the world, legalizing torture, shredding the Constitution, and turning the government over to fundamentalist religious fanatics.

12xuser said...

Looking at the comic again, it strikes me that Dave's final statement could be reasonably made two hundred years after ANY war. Is Tinsley a secret pacifist?

dlauthor said...

I swear to God -- because the diner guy is supposedly Vietnamese, I thought he was talking about the Vietnam War. Which made the comic even more incomprehensible than usual -- no mean feat.

Anyway, if that's what he knows about the American Revolution, it's probably a good thing that little Rush goes to one of those dastardly public schools, rather than being home-"schooled."

rewinn said...

Liberals won our Revolutionary War; the Conservatives fled to Canada.

Kinda funny, really.

Oh, and Mallard: the Boston Tea Party was a protest against a tax cut. The Crown (a.k.a. all-powerful executive) imposed a Tea Tax to fund a war, then exempted its good buddy the multinational East India Company. As a result, small businessmen (like "Dave's local tea importer") couldn't compete on that basis and were being ruined; that's why the tea chest into the harbor didn't have tax stamps!

The basis of our Revolution was opposition to, basically, the same policies behind today's Republican Party. The good news: we won then, and we're winning now.

Happy Independence Day!

rewinn said...

Hey! Isn't "Dave" one of Mallard's token ethnic guys?

It's kinda hard to tell from the lousy colorization, but it looks like he looked at yesterday's "Racism-Is-Good" comic and decided it was time for a "I'm-Not-Racist-See?" strip.

More unintentional humor from the proudly worst-editted comic in the biz!

Matt Ramone said...

Eminem Domain?

GeoX said...

The most laughable thing about this strip is the implication that there's been some sort of ongoing storyline wherein "Dave"'s business was seized from him due to libruls, whereas in fact there has been no such thing; Tinsley just came up with this on the spur of the moment so he could do this lameass fucking cartoon. Pathetic.

ian morris said...

Eminent Domain was the subject of a comic before, the tinz blamed it on liberals. his diner was indeed taken by TEH EVIL LIBRULS who say the constitution is a living document.

GeoX said...

You know, I thought that might be the case when I commented, but I just had no recollection of it--when your strip is as disjointed and lazy as MF, you really can't expect readers to keep abreast of whatever limited plot devices you might have vomited up at some point.