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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Those damned Millions

What's Mallard raving about today?

Teabaggers, The Media.

Lie #1 - The Media Ignored the Teabaggers. To paraphrase what Rick Sanchez at CNN said: They covered it; they did not promote it.

Lie #2 - A couple million. Thoroughly debunked idiocy.

Truth - When an entire political Party becomes so divorced from reality that they cannot even count, there is absolutely no reason to take any of their policy positions seriously. Which is not to say that the threat they pose to the country should not be taken seriously. Because they are clearly insane.

22 comments:

GeoX said...

Oh boy! An entire week of Tinsley whining piteously that the evil librul media won't treat wild wingnut fabrications as though they were god's own truth! How delightful!

Frank Stone said...

Brucie has apparently chosen to eschew the "go for the big laugh and then move on" approach to comedy in favor of the "tell the same joke over and over again hoping it will get funnier" approach.

When your "joke" is a fatuous load of horse puke, however, neither approach holds much promise.

exanonymous said...

I agree, the media did ignore millions of Americans marching in DC. They even photoshopped/CGIed them out of the footage! And scariest of all went in and deleted them from the memories of the DC residents. Sure, they left in about 70,000 people protesting, but that was just to cover their lying butts.

I for one am outraged. I plan on going to the next tea party as soon as I can find my tin foil hat.

Tog said...

Wasn't too long ago one of our pet trolls was baying about Van Jones being a "9-11 Truther*." Now he can yuk it up at the neoconservatives' own recurring conspiracy meme: the media won't admit we had millions of participants...simply because we didn't!!

...It's unfair!!1 WAAAAAH!!!


Meanwhile, I'll yuk it up at Tinsley's desperation as he clings to something he knows is completely false. Can't you just smell the flop sweat?

*Because heavens knows nothing about 9-11 was fishy, nothing at all! ...Say, when are they going to execute Bill Clinton for trying to frame Linda Tripp after murdering Vince Foster for threatening to reveal Bill sells cocaine to pre-schoolers?!? Anal probe!

rewinn said...

Tinshley is a "912 Truther"!

Excellent, my dear Tog.

dlauthor said...

Claiming that there were 2,000,000 people protesting in DC on 9/12 is like me saying there were 450 children at my daughter's first birthday party on Saturday.

Except, of course, the 9/12 mini-protest had much more per-capita whining, tantrums, nonsensical babbling, and poopy diapers.

Kip W said...

Newsbusters?
Man, where's Mythbusters?

Maybe they could confirm that the Twelvers think their body parasites count as marchers.

I hate chuck asay said...

I think a 2,000,000 Republican march would be less of a protest and more of an ogliarchal coup. Republicans have guns, and, constantly, threaten to do things like leave the country, shoot politicians and shut down the government--if they, actually, become that organized and open, we might be in a lot of trouble.

xy said...

i think the 'couple of million protesters' is because most of the thousands of protesters have schizophrenia and they counted all the hallucinations.

dlauthor said...

Perhaps they counted all their anonymous sock puppets.

rewinn said...

Technically, "up to 2 million teabaggers" would be true, so long as we keep in mind that "up to 2 million" includes the number "zero".

CREDIT: Lampoon's magnificent Llap Goch advertizement:

* DEVELOP UP TO 38" BICEPS
* GROW UP TO 12" TALLER
* LOSE UP TO 40" OF FAT IN YOUR FIRST WORK-OUT!
* PROLONG YOUR LIFE BY UP TO 1,000 YEARS
* GO TO BED WITH UP TO ANY LUDICROUS NUMBER OF GIRLS YOU CARE TO THINK OF PROVIDING YOU REALIZE THIS STATEMENT IS QUITE MEANINGLESS AS THE PHRASE "UP TO" CLEARLY INCLUDES THE NUMBER "NOUGHT".

Celia said...

I kind of like Mr. Noseworthy.

Kip W said...

I'm pretty sure Llap Goch was in a Monty Python book. Thanks for that link!

Tog said...

Geek moment:

"Llap Goch" is one of my all-time favorite Python bits (in spite of its wordiness and the fact it was never made into a sketch), and I can attest that it comes from The Brand New Monty Python Papperbok, the cover of which appeared to be smeared with fingerprints of greenish cow excrement. (Shameful admission: as a lad, it took me several minutes of furious copy-examination in the bookstore before I got the joke.)

David B said...

"Why do you think so much of the media ignored a couple of million conservatives marching in the DC protest?"

Um, 'cause they weren't there.

Apparently, pointing that out now counts as being mean.

Rebochan said...

15 comments and nobody's noticed that Mallard seems to have forgotten he's a journalist too?

Maybe I'm just too immune to the stupid now that I can pick up on continuity errors...

Bill the Splut said...

Ask "How did Bush get over 100% of the vote in parts of Ohio in 2004, a year after the president of Diebold said he is 'committed to helping Ohio deliver its electoral votes to the president next year'*, and why did the exit polls match everywhere except in Ohio, Pennsylvania and Florida where they used Diebold machines? Why did so many people vote for Kerry and then lie about it?" and rightwingers will call you a paranoid moonbat wearing a tinfoil hat.

But, YEAHHH, every news source in the world (Fox not being a source for "news") totally collaborated on a massive lie of unprecedented scale because they're all so liberal that they killed the Diebold story. Suuure they did.

Reason for the missing 1.3 million people is obvious, if you think about Tinny's other recent obsession:
Hulk smash them!

*source: the radical libs at the Cleveland Plain Dealer)

Also, Rewinn wins again with "9/12 Truthers"!

Michael said...

Why is he calling his managing editor "big guy"? Who talks to their boss as if they're picking a bar fight?

Anyway, Noseworthy must have misunderstood. Rather than the imaginary teabaggers, he was probably referring to the 6-10 million actual protesters -- the largest war protest in human history -- in 2003 who were largely ignored by the media's drum to war.

Since Tinsley "had [his] doubts from the beginning" about the war in Iraq, I'm interested to see how frustrated he got when the media failed to adequately cover those protests. Summaries of Mallard Fillmore, taken from archives:

< 2/14: Mallentines.
2/14: Mallentine to Dick Gephardt: only people on welfare vote for you.
2/15: Global warming can't be true because winter is cold this year.
2/16: (no image)
2/17: Poor people shouldn't complain, because they all have cell phones.

Okay, hold on. It must be the two week lag. I'll continue reading until he does speak truth to power about the lack of coverage.

2/18-2/23: Universities are racist for using affirmative action.
2/24-3/02: Political correctness has gone too far; they keep changing the words on us!
3/03-3/09: "Um.... sorry.... as a professional journalist, I shouldn't have used the term 'French pansies'.... It's redundant."
3/10: Reality TV sucks!
3/11-3/16: Liberal talk radio sucks, and isn't as popular as Rush Limbaugh!
3/17-3/18: Everyone is getting tattoos and plastic surgery nowadays.

On 3/19, he mentions a protest!!

"Protesters on T.V.... imagine that.... Ooooh... apparently spelling America with a 'K' is back... except these days, it may just mean that the protester went to public school...."

Hibryd said...

Having looked at a LOT of photos from the event... some of those people *were* fat enough to qualify as 2 - 4 human beings.

Michael said...

archive link of Tinsley bravely speaking truth to power in 2003.

I hate chuck asay said...

Tinsley used periods and exclamation points in 2003? His writing has, actually, decreased in quality, from subliterate to virtually illiterate! I have to check the earlier strips--perhaps I will find double hyphens, and interrobangs around 1997! Will the '91 strips have actual grammar, coherence and sentence structure?

Kip W said...

Mallard's a journalist like a wooden painted decoy is a duck, or like Tin Eye is a cartoonist.