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Thursday, September 03, 2009

Those damned pants

What's Mallard raving about today?

Health Care, Teabaggers.

Government wears pants?

The only way it could not be people who "pay the bills" is if the protesters were made up of non-U.S. Citizens who live outside the U.S. Which would be a cool protest, in an ironic sort of way.

And remember...this rule only applies when protesting things Mallard disagrees with. Otherwise, you're just a dirty hippie.


Anonymous said...

It's official, Ducky has gone quackers. Thinking "Obamacare" = socialism is a reasonable argument immediately shows that you don't even understand what socialism is, or that "Obamacare" is not a thing that could exist, since Presidents can't fucking make bills. Congratulations, you've written a sign with only two words, and yet you don't understand a single word on it.

Michael said...

Your model citizen is holding up an "Obamacare = socialism" sign? Jesus H. Christ in a chicken basket.

From sheer force of habit, I think Tinsley is strawmanning his own side - could these people look any more ignorant?

Actually, maybe they can: is that a shadow under the guy's nose, or a Hitler 'stache?

Tog said...

Farmer Dan wielding his "SOCIALISM!!!1" sign is hilarious enough, but just to be safe Tin whips out his Negro Who's On MY Side So If You Disagree With Me You're RACIST! Black Guy (Trademark, Chris Muir).

The irony being that Farmer Dan himself hasn't read the bill, because he's equating "Obamacare" with Socialism, which means he has no effing idea what he's talking about.

GeoX said...

Shit--it looks like there was a mix-up at the syndicate and some evil left-wing DFH cartoonist's work was accidentally inserted in the middle of today's MF cartoon. Damn you, DFH cartoonist! How dare you try to make Tinsley look stoopid!

Mike said...

The most unrealistic MF yet.

No one carrying an asault rifle to the protest? Not a single image of Obama as Hitler?

Oh, yeah, these things invalidate your "argument', Tinsley.

wv: lagishly-sort of lagging.

Mr. FourDotEllipse said...

Mallard = Propaganda

wv: petamac, a meat-free big-mac-like sandwich approved by PETA

muddyriverlover said...

"Read the Bill" has been my favorite of the teabagger chants this summer: "Congressman, if you would just read the bill, then of COURSE you would see things my way!"

dlauthor said...

Seeking: evidence of actual African-American townhall protestors.

Also, evidence of townhall protestors who stand quietly holding signs, rather than bellowing like elephant seals during rutting season so as to drown out the opposition.

Word verification: dingel: (n.) according to Xanon, the tastiest of berries.

Faldone said...

What makes the "Read the Bill" slogan so fascinating is that it's coming from people who obviously haven't.

"But I read the email that said what the bill had in it. Doesn't that count?"

Anonymous said...

Why the hell is there a fake-series-numbering title on this? "Mallard's Important Things To Remember" isn't a series, it doesn't set up a "joke" or give any kind of context...

Well... I guess it does fill the space at the top of that first panel, saving him from having to redraw it to fill the (very little) space he has.

Oh, and I'm pretty sure the "pay the bills" thing is meant to imply that all Democratic protests are by filthy non-tax paying freeloaders and welfare queens.

Hibryd said...

You know who "pays the bills" in reality? Blue states. The states that provide more federal revenue than the benefits they take are mostly liberal-leaning.

You know who doesn't "pay the bills"? You know who takes more money from the government than they provide? Seniors and uneducated people who make lower incomes. I would bet Tinely's monthly whiskey budget that the anti-socialist protesters at town hall meetings are the biggest recipients of "socialist" programs.

exanonymous said...

Well, to be fair, #1-33 probably weren't newspaper-safe.

But yeah, my response to the Obamacare = socialism sign:


It proves nothing other than the fact that I'm supposed to have a Pavlovian response courtesy of a cold war long over.

But on the bright side, whoopee! Us liberals don't have to pay our taxes this year because protesters are going to do it all for us!

Rootbeer said...

I believe the "Important Things To Remember #43" is a bald attempt by the author to make this strip qualify for this year's "Most Interminable Series" award. Don't fall for it.

Why is every character in this fucking strip always clutching a fucking sheaf of papers?

rewinn said...

After the USSR did its best to make "Socialism" a dirty word, here comes Mallard and the Reichwingers trying to make it popular again.

Ask your average young voter: Do you think all Americans should have health care?

They'll say "Yeah".

Then say: But that's Socialism!

They'll say "So?"

Marion Delgado said...

Where does Mallard live? all his black people are fascists, and almost all his fascists are black. Here in Eugene, it's a pretty straightforward all-white crowd of Tea-baggers, and they look like a bunch of Pluggers and Plugger-children. He must be neighbors to the Day by Day guy.

Factinista said...

He lives in Mallard World, where straw minorities are always ready to rally for Tinsley's cause.

Seriously, has anyone else noticed how often Tinsley uses minorities to make a point? You've got Mallard, the "Amphibious-American," Dave and Rush, who are purportedly Vietnamese, and now this guy.

Kip W said...

Hey, duck!

Shut your bill!

dlauthor said...

He's far from the only one. Scott Stantis's lead character in Prickly City is Hispanic, and of course there's Chris Muir and that nonsensical hentai strip he draws. And, of course, the Pluggers are all dumpy furries. It's almost as if conservative cartoonists are ashamed of being white.

Actually, they use surrogate minorities as their mouthpieces in an attempt to deflect charges of racism and non-inclusivosity -- after all, Tinshley's "Chinese eat dogs hurr hurr" strips can't possibly be racist if he has named characters who are purportedly Vietnamese, can he? And he can't possibly be accused of depicting an overwhelmingly white-male viewpoint if that one guy one time with the protest sign was ZOMG black.


Michael said...

I think that's supposed to be a black woman. Since there are so many young black female teabaggers, they need to be represented here.

Tog said...

Even Bruce "Truth To Power" Tinsley is not so stupid as to openly advocate overthrowing our fairly-elected government on the basis of there being a black guy in the White House, so he must settle for "scaring the pants off" of it.

Farmer Dan enjoys government subsidies and Medicare, and repays society by actively seeking every tax loophole he can get to avoid paying taxes. So naturally, he's enraged about a bill he hasn't read. See? It all makes perfect sense! ...If you're the sort of neocon schmuck who knows it's all about What's In It For Me.

Thank God there's a convenient black man for Farmer Dan to stand next to. That's how you know he's not merely racist!

Ezola Foster didn't exactly convince the world that Pat Buchanan was no longer a mouth-foaming hatemonger, but still, it might be a real boost to the economy if more racist assholes hired "minority strawmen" to stand next to them to show everyone they're not racist assholes. And who knows, they might learn something by accidentally talking to "those people."

Anonymous said...

There are numerous postings on liberal blogs about conservatives bringing guns to townhall meetings. I have seen news clips showing guns on two occasions. But, do we know if these men were conservative or liberal? We could guess but does it really matter?

In both instances the states where this occurred allow "open carry" if one has a CCW permit. There was no violation of any law. If one had intentions of doing harm to someone would they open carry, an assult rifle?

So, I include this example of liberal bias. This is in reference to MSNBC. The skewing of a story they used on air. The so called reporters/talking heads are quite pleased with themselves to push this story and play the "race card". Certainly Media Matters will investigate this right?

Fair and balanced reporting. MSNBC clips black man with assault rifle from town hall video and talks about "white people showing up with guns." Dan Rather wannabes. (Two videos)

p.s. Wednesday, one of your pro-Obamacare buddies in L.A., got tough with an anti-Obamacare 65 year old man and bit half of one of his fingers off. Nothing wrong at all with the Obama followers. All very bright folks.

GeoX said...

If one had intentions of doing harm to someone [sic] would they [sic] open carry [sic],[sic] an assult [sic] rifle?

Likewise, if anonycoward were really a gibbering idiot, would he be wasting his time with this moronic, barely-literate trolling?!? Quod erat dumbasstrandum, libz!

CW in LA said...

The "no laws were broken" argument is dumb as dirt, and dishonet to boot. The obvious reason go go toting around a giant kill-machine at these gatherings is to intimidate and frighten people out of participating in our democratic processes.

PS - Going back to last week or so: Anyone see today's Lio? If you're going to do a "Skool suxz, hur hur hur" strip, that's how.

MartyRotten said...

So who does Tinsley think paid for Bush's Iraq war? I protested the war because I was (and am) against it and resent my tax dollars being used to pay for it. (especially since very little of that money went to actually equip the soldiers so they'd, I dunno, survive?0

Ducky is Right said...

Ducky is right; this is the first time ever in the history of our nation that people have protested something.

dlauthor said...

I wonder if Anonycoward lives in an open-carry state, and would mind overmuch if someone stood around outside his house with an assault rifle, day and night. Not breaking any laws, of course. Maybe they could shout hateful invective aimed at him while they're at it.

Sorry, did I say house? I meant sad studio apartment that smells like fried chicken.

Oh, and MSNBC didn't do anything illegal, so by the Coward's own standards, STFU.

Factinista said...

Yes, MSNBC is liberal, that's plain as day. It developed into that as a counterpoint to Fox News' shameless propaganda. But something tells me you're still thinking that Fox is a bastion of truth, am I right? Don't play the victim here, coward.

GeoX said...

...and yet in spite of MSNBC's purported liberalness, they still employ nobody's favorite neo-nazi. Hmph.

WV: waysting

Waysting away again in Mallardfillmoreville,
Laughing at the dumb teabagging loons.
Anonymous claims it's the libruls to blame,
But we know that they're really just goons.

Anonymous said... all seem to be a bit more angry than usual. If you want your party to pass Obamacare now, have them vote for it as soon as they return from their vacation. The Republicans do not have the votes to stop it.

Also, I see a few polls which show Obama's approval rating at 45% after 8 months in office. What do you believe has caused this drop? I can only imagine the lies he will spin on September 9th.

Just to lighten the mood for the Duck and Cover "regulars", I include two photos. BHO aka "The One" caught by a photographer
admiring another young lady. When Michelle saw this, there had to be some serious shit hitting the fan.

In this photo, Michelle does not appear to be a very happy first lady. I believe I can read her mind.

CW in LA said...

Hey, anonytroll: FUCK YOU. That photo was roundly debunked when it came out. The fact that you tell lies so shamelessly does not make you an expert on the subject.

What the fuck kind of person hangs out on a Mallard Fillmore blog, knowing his foul waterfowl idol is indefensible and therefore spinning whatever random lies he can pull out of his butt?

Wait'll we've mobilized ACORN and Americorps into our own army; you'll be dreading a midnight knock on the door when... oh, wait, did I give away too much?

Ah, well: FUCK YOU.

Anonymous said...

CW in LA...quite the intelligent person. Much thought goes into "It's" comments.

DaveyK...30 hits today, would that be a record? If not I could take it over 35 :).

Michael said...

Well played, anonymous. Well played.

CW in LA said...

Never mind, Anonytroll, I might as well spell it out: All the delusions and weird shit Glenn Beck have been pulling out of his surgically reconstructed butt are true.

I've just reported you to the Snitch Site, and soon the full weight of our glorious commie fascist nazi Marxist socialst state will come down upon your ratty head. Happy FEMA camping, loser. You better hope you can impress the Death Panels.

And if you have kids, the president will tell them to stay in school and study hard. And there won't be a damn thing you can do about it! Muah ha ha ha ha ha.....

Seriously, though, you're what's wrong with this country.

Tog said...

Michael, I know you think standing up to the trolls give them a victory, but let us have our fun. all seem to be a bit more angry than usual.

I don't know where Anonyknob's getting that from, other than his belief that if we're angry, then he's won--therefore, we must be angry. Q.E.DERP.

If anything, I'm a little pissed that we might lose health care reform once again because of a blatantly deceitful Republican campaign propped up all the way by the supposedly "liberal" media. (Note that Anonyknob does not address that deceit. That's what makes you a coward, not your anonymity.)

I can only imagine the lies he will spin on September 9th.

Well, yes...a lot of the objections to Obama and his policies exist only in the imagination. Hey, since when does a GOP troll care about poll numbers and lying? ...Oh, right, a Democrat's in the White House.

I believe I can read her mind.

I don't believe you can read, period. The fact that you post a link to a context-removed non-controversy that was debunked AGES ago (by video, no less), rather than anything related to the subject at hand, reveals the lack of real issues in your arsenal, and of brain cells in your skull.

Class dismissed, fool. Your short bus is here.

Anonymous said...

Oh, sure, you may have debunked Oglegate, but there is still Mustardgate and Telepromptergate and Baseballgate! Impeach now!

rewinn said...

Shouldn't OgleGate be named "Obama Is HeteroGate"?

I mean, I know the picture misrepresented what went on, as the video clearly shows. BUT the lovely young lady is indeed a lovely young lady, and I would not be ashamed for looking at her in public.

Meanwhile, idiots on Fox are urging parents to keep the kids home from school to protect them from the President of the United States. I can't wait for Tinkley's comment on this, early in October.

exanonymous said...

Shouldn't the anon be more concerned with the number of people who ogled this: