What's Mallard raving about today?
The duck saw his shadow last weeks, folks. Now three weeks of Mallentines! Which means endless terrible Tinshley poetry. It's called meter, Bruce. Have some, won't you?
So we have the first Mallentine, and it's #16. He counts strips every bit as well as he tracks metric feet in his verses, and with as much concern for how it sounds.Any early betting on how many times we'll see this particular drawing of Mallard? Tin Eye seems to have taken a lesson from all those framing gags in Marvin that use the same first panel for a whole week. (Ah, remember when using a drawing for a whole week seemed like a lot? Simpler days.)
uSuSuuSuuSuuSuuSuSuSuSuSSuuSuSThere's not a single metric property of this "Mallentine" that's consistent with the limerick form.And word-a-day calendar vocabulary like "internecine" sticks out badly when the rest of the strip is written at a sixth-grade level.word veri: CALOST. What the NY Post's headline will be when Newt divorces his current wife.
Aww, fer phauk's sake, Mallentines?TS Eliot had no idea what he was talking about when he called April the cruelest month. And I imagine Brews and his crotch-duck won't get that reference, either.
"Newt and Mitt and RickAre each a little sick.They ape each other's liesSo it is no surpriseThat even Red States thinkThat all of them just stink."
Oh. My. God.This looks like someone vomited on a piece of paper and submitted it as a "comic". Does he have any pride in his work whatsoever? Overly wordy "poem" so badly scripted it's difficult to read, I can't imagine anyone making it to the end of this garbage unless, like us, the plan is to make fun of it.
"We've clobbered each other with bats;We've bitten and clawed just like rats.This fury and fuss,Among friends like us,Is a Valentine to Democrats."-- Five minutes, it actually scans, and it has some distant connection to "Mallentines".If I could draw a duck, I could be a reichwing cartoonist!!!
You don't have to be able to draw, even; just look at Prick City.
Lay off Prickly City! While the artwork is certainly not great, and the best parts of it are those aped from superior strips, there's at least a basic competency in the medium there.More than I can say for Xeroxed Duck Head Daily here, or (shudder) Day By Day.Do you think Chris Muir has any awareness of what his strip's fetishization of Sexy Women Holding Babies and Cool Black Guys says about his own psyche?word veri: apome. What Bruce thought he was writing.
Dear Tinsley,I am a representative of the American Society of Zoologists, a prestigious body dedicated to the biological classification of unusual species. We have been contemplating a certain unprecedented action regarding your taxonomy, which is both and good bad news for yourself.First, the bad news: Your latest comic has demonstrated such stupidity and mental inconsistency that you can no longer be considered a human. We have deemed you to be a super-intelligent gorilla, far below the members of what was previously assumed to be your species. This disqualifies you from human rights, social services, medical services and education--but since every example of your comic proves that you hate every example of those things, that should not be a problem.Now, the good news: Gorillas are endangered, and as such, they are given protection by the government. We will have teams of soldiers and policemen monitor your habitat, ensuring that the millions of lynch mobs threatening to torture and kill you will never succeed.Word Verification: Hersubag, the new genus which is solely made up of Tinsley.
Zoo Doctor! Do not denigrate gorillas in this way!Bruce is clearly more related to the red-state-assed baboon.
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