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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

That damned Fat

What's Mallard raving about today?

Jeans, Fat People

I think Mallard Fillmore is unfamiliar with the concept of "jokes" and "humor".


Tog said...

And here I've just run through my entire Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist DVD set. I can't remember which stand-up-comic-posing-as-patient told that joke, but it wasn't particularly funny then, either.

Dr. Katz ran through 1999 on Comedy Central.

dlauthor said...

Yet another example of the private hell that must be marriage to Bruce Tinshley. No wonder she lets him drink till he passes out.

Kip W said...

It's the old switcheroo! See, people see a comic strip in the paper and think, "Oh boy! This is going to be humorous, or at least make some sort of sense..."

Steve-O said...


Mallard provides the perfect blend of comics, it brings us the humor of "Mary Worth" combined with the incoherence of "Snuffy Smith".

Anonymous said...

The persistent mental block and lack of original, new ideas is starting to be funny in itself, while his "comics" are not.

rewinn said...

I blame Obama for reducing the world's most celebrated and contentious conservative cartoon to limping along on fat jokes.

D@mn you sir! D@mn you to h3ll!!!

Worse Than Liefel's Before Watchmen said...

Jeans are often made in sweatshops by slave labor. Clothing corporations are rich and powerful and horribly overcharge customers for their products. Tinsley saw this joke which made a very mild and inane slight against the clothing industry and became enraged that his heroes were being insulted. He made this comic in an attempt to complain, but his retardation and incompetence led to the usual result.

Word Verification: Tachon, Tinsley's evil is to the evil of a genocidal dictator as the speed of a tachon is to the speed of sound.

Anonymous said...

Tinsley, Mallard Fillmore does not make you look like Hitler, it makes you look like--Hitlest! (Puts on sunglasses while the Who plays in the background, or so I assume because generic procedural are overused and boring.)

Word Verification: NgeTeris olinal, olinal, Tinsley loves slurs even worse than nigger, like ngeTeris.

Toots McGee said...

Hey, what's the deal with airline peanuts?

Kids sure do pay a lot of money for "distressed" jeans when they could find good old fashion worn jeans at a thrift store?

Y'ever notice how dogs are like "hey man, what's up? what are we doin'?, are we gonna do something?, I'm right over here if you wanna do something. Huh? I thought you were talkin' to me, still over here if you wanna do something!" and cats are like "whatever"?

Frank Stone said...

What would really be funny is if Brucie thought he made up that joke himself.

Worse Than Liefeld's Before Watchmen said...

Tinsley's stand up act:

Airline food is so disgusting, like foreign food. Everyone should eat American food, like pizza, pasta, burritos, hamburgers and egg rolls.

My wife takes my credit cards and spends all my money. This would be OK, as it would remove the temptation to spend it on charity and technology, but she spends it on foreign goods!

My mother-in-law is so ugly, stupid and annoying, she must be an Asian! I should lynch myself for miscegenation!

Ever noticed how when White guys drive, they are all like, "I am driving perfectly because Aryan supermen are superior." Black guys, on the other hand, are all "ah's gon' run ova yous 'cause ah's on' drive highs on crack and P.C.P, doodah!

Newfangled technology never works right, or so I assume, because electricity is the tool of the Devil. How can a cellphone get proper reception when it is made by lazy Latino whores in sweatshops, which are the only good workplaces, because proper conditions are for Nazi Communist moderate Christians?

I hate the lines at the D.M.V, but what can I do when violent, oafish Europeans are always there goofing off instead of going to the window?

Bill the Splut said...

A week of "butt dial" non-jokes is to be followed by a week of "fat butt" non-jokes. Well, his mission statement is to be the polar opposite of Doonesbury. Success there, Brucie.

Next week's theme: "You're ugly and your butt smells and you kiss your own butt that smells."

MartyRotten said...

So now he's stealing jokes from MARRIED: WITH CHILDREN.