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Friday, February 10, 2012

Those damned Stars

What's Mallard raving about today?

Reality TV Stars, Viewers

Apparently, ordinary Americans deserve a lecture, not a break.


Tog said...

Which blows your mind more?

That Tinsley, who now openly copypastes seventy percent of the total-crap "content" of the average strip, is wailing about the dearth of quality on TV?

Or that Tinsley is one of the very people he's bitching about, who can't seem to stop watching the crappy TV he's always bitching about?

Or that he's insulting Sarah Palin's daughter like that? (When Momma Grizzly becomes President of the United States of Alaska your duck is f***ed, Tinsley!)

dlauthor said...

Looks like Tinshley continues to be butthurt that he can't fap to new episodes of Veronica Mars any more.

Kip W said...

Famous people he never can name
Are so handy for Mallard to blame!
He loves wagging his bill—
Such a trivial skill—
Which he only employs to defame.

rewinn said...

Unintended irony: the ads in "Duck and Cover" link to a webcomic that is funnier, more relevant and just plain better than "Mallard Fillmore" in every way.

It's as if Brewsky is still using a landline, and can't make the jump to smartphones. Probably something to do with the conservative mindset.

Toots McGee said...

Think what you'll see
In a market that's free
and appeals to the masses
those ignorant asses,
just what will they show
when standards are low
and sensation sells
and Bozell bozells
'bout the Hollywood scheme
appeals to extremes
and sells beauty creams
and lotions that flatten
tummies that slacken
Wait, what was I sayin'
Bout the shows that are playin'?
Oh nevermind
It's just Mallartines.
My rhymes are strained
'cause I pickled my brain.

Toots McGee said...

I said Bozell, but was thinking Brietbart. "Easier" rhyme, but different blowhard.

Rootbeer said...


Probably a side-effect of being timewarped back to the year 2001, when the backlash against "reality TV" was timely.


The closest attempt yet! I like how each of the 'A' lines is a syllable longer than the previous one.

Zoo Doctor said...

Think about this: Survivor, the Jersey Shore, Maury Povich, Jerry Springer, 16 and Pregnant, the Republican debates and a bunch of other shit that I cannot name because the thought of watching them causes brain aneurysms, contain all the horrible monsters who would appear on such disasters. Tinsley, however, has never been offered a "reality show" role.

Tinsley implies that all television is complete bullshit and worthless. Well Tinsley, here is a thought: Have the illegal immigrants you enslave and force to use electricity for you so you can complain watch these programs:

House, The River, Terra Nova, Happy Endings, Person of Interest, South Park, Grimm, etc.

Those unpaid Guatemalans you keep shackled in a storage locker would soon have a much higher opinion of television, and your attempts to destroy all the technology and fun in the world would be stalled. Everyone wins, except you, who deserves nothing but punishment and loss!

Word Verification: Pelit, the opposite of polite in the same sense that Hitler was the opposite of Martin Luther King. Tinsley is extremely pelit.

Frank Stone said...

"Weird Al" Yankovic did it better in 1993.

Bill the Splut said...

Awww, Bruce, it's so cute that you've found a new sock puppet name! "Zoo Doctor: Sociopath"! We'll certainly fall for it this time!

And if we don't, how about "Talentless Moonie Welfare Whore" as a nick?

CW in LA said...

While I've no doubt that Brews dutifully helped stuff Dancing with the Stars' ballot box on behalf of Brisdull Palin, I'm equally certain that if asked about it he'd claim Brisdull is a true artist and not one of those famous for being famous people.

In, in fairness, Brisdull is a better dancer than Tinsh is a cartoonist.

Kip W said...

Zoo Doctor, we... well, we've had bad experiences in the past, but welcome anyway.