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Monday, February 20, 2012

That damned Tech Support

What's Mallard raving about today?

Tech Support

Why do you hate capitalism, Mallard? This is just a by-product of your beloved job creators exercising their right to make a profit by whatever means they choose. Do you suggest we regulate the free market? Why don't you just take your business elsewhere?

Also, exactly how long do sit and listen to mistaken calls? You have nothing better to do with your time?

The thing that's so maddening about Mallard Fillmore sometimes is it can't even be internally consistent in what he whines about. And since whining is all he does, Mallard is 100% maddening.


dlauthor said...

Actually, Mallard, they're just not talking to you because they know your voice after all those times you dialed at 3 am to rant drunkenly about brown people. Like everyone else you interact with, they hate you like your last name was Romney.

Kip W said...

What seems to have happened here is that somebody wrote in about the butt-dial strip last time, and the only other time that happened recently was with something about tech support, so now he's trying to recapture past glories in an otherwise autobiographical strip about lying around on the floor in a state of semi-consciousness.

rewinn said...

What a sad, angry, impotent world does the modern "conservative" inhabit!

Worse Than Liefeld's Before Watchmen said...

Hello, and welcome to Mallard Fillmore technical support! Our operators are out lynching black and gay guys, but when they have cleaned the blood and scorch marks out of their Klan robes, they will be sure to respond. Please wait for the following options:

Press 1 to complain that racism is not dead.
Press 2 to point out that if racism is dead, then it is impossible for everyone except the white to be racist.
Press 3 for libel and slander lawsuit. Please note that Tinsley is extremely rich, and has an army of lawyers to ensure that you will lose.
Press 4 to demand that Tinsley actually use any technology made within the last 500 years before complaining about modern technology. This recording will be destroyed by the guy who uses technology for Tinsley.
Press 5 if you are a skinhead, and then press 1 if you are a Neo-Nazi skinhead who thinks Tinsley is far too extremist, or press 2 if you are a Nihilistic Anarchist skinhead who feels Tinsley's policies would cause too much chaos.
Press 6 if you are not a White Christian from a part of the Deep South which happily agreed to join the Confederacy during the Civil War. Our operators will be sent to lynch you at their convenience.

Frank Stone said...

Behold, America: The product of 80 - 90 hours of research per week into the pressing sociopolitical issues of our time.

Oh, no, wait -- that's something else. This is the product of giving wingnut welfare to a physically and intellectually lazy right-wing cartoonist.

Tog said...

"You commie-rat racist n*****s at Duck and Cover complain about my crotch shots and fixation on butt-calls, so I made this especially for you! U MAD BRO?"
-- Trolly Trolly Tinsley

Anonymous said...

"Why do you hate capitalism, Mallard? "
Can we please come up with something different, lest we be as tedious and repetitive as the duck himself?