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Thursday, May 24, 2012

Those damned Horizons

What's Mallard raving about today?


At first, I was tempted to say that, at Mallard's age, using a laundromat is a sign that your life took a wrong turn somewhere.

Then I was tempted to say that Mallard is an elitist dick.

But, then I realized that, since watching Fox "News" makes you actively more stupid, I realized that there's no joke here. Getting away from his house and watching something, anything, other than Fox is broadening Mallard's horizons.

So, you know, kudos for that, Mallard.


Kip W said...

I think he just kept on too long. It would have been fine if he'd stopped at "Nothing broadens my cultural horizons." Then he goes and complains that the TV isn't always on Fox News, which will be grinding out the same dreary trivia, only mostly about politicians, and maybe some movie stars they don't like.

MissD said...

Pardon my Palinese, but what a retarded comic.
Yes, it's true, when you go to the laundry, and are waiting for the clothes to dry, instead of watching sophisticated television like Mr Ed reruns, you are forced to watch the horrors of Fox News or Montel Williams.
What's bullshit about today's comic is that Tinsley would never go to a laundry. If he was too cheap to buy a washing machine, he would merely take off his belt and beat his wife with it until she agreed to do his laundry. So how would he know what's on the television at the laundry?

Tog said...

Mallard believes that Public Television is elitist and socialist.

Mallard believes that Commercial Television is stupid, except for Veronica Mars, which was cancelled by elitist socialists, and probably 24, because Yay Torture 9/11 Changed Everything.

Mallard keeps watching and watching and watching.

Draw your own conclusion.

(Note of protest: Hey! I'm "that age" and I use a laundromat because the laundry in my apartment building is crap.)

rewinn said...

What a sad, cheerless world today's conservative inhabits, in which today's "comic" is a "contentious and celebrated ... conservative viewpoint ...consistently addressing hot-button issues..." like laundromat TV.

Truly, crushing depression is a right-wing value!

DiR said...

Do you suppose newspaper editors ever lay awake at night, staring at the ceiling, and think to themselves, "I'm paying -money- for some moron to complain about TV in my paper"?

CW in LA said...

My first thought is that Brews' Moonie/Koch sponsors are offering a substantial discount for his wares.

Either that or the pitch is more along the lines of "Nice funny page youse got heres. Be a shame if it wuz to be accused of havin' a librul bias. But we can sell youse pertecshun against such an unfortunate occurrence befallin' youse..."

Neo Tuxedo said...

Two things, CW:
1) I'm pretty sure that second version is more like it, but the first may figure in.
b) Will that internets be carry-out or delivery?