What's Mallard raving about today?
Michael Jackson, Racism.
Wow, a double Straw Man. I'm pretty sure that's a Mallard first.
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Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
That damned Mozart
What's Mallard raving about today?
Mozart, Michael Jackson.
This Straw Series has officially reached the completely unhinged state. Mallard's Michael Jackson fever is fueled not by an actual event but by the mere appearance of a prominent Black Man in the news.
On the plus side, I am pretty sure we're looking at a string contender for the 2009 Golden Ellipse for Most Interminable Series or Running Theme.
Mozart, Michael Jackson.
This Straw Series has officially reached the completely unhinged state. Mallard's Michael Jackson fever is fueled not by an actual event but by the mere appearance of a prominent Black Man in the news.
On the plus side, I am pretty sure we're looking at a string contender for the 2009 Golden Ellipse for Most Interminable Series or Running Theme.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
That damned Larry
What's Mallard raving about today?
Michael Jackson.
Oh, geez, I'm so sorry.
Larry agrees with Mallard, so I guess...well, frankly I don't know what that proves.
Michael Jackson.
Oh, geez, I'm so sorry.
Larry agrees with Mallard, so I guess...well, frankly I don't know what that proves.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
That damned expansion
What's Mallard raving about today?
Michael Jackson, Racism.
Anyone else notice that Mallard is attempting to gild the lily more and more, adding phrases like "wisely added" and "perpetually expanding" to this standard construct?
Unfortunately for Mallard, it has the opposite effect from what he wants, making him seem more unreasonably strident and petty rather than making his point stronger.
Michael Jackson, Racism.
Anyone else notice that Mallard is attempting to gild the lily more and more, adding phrases like "wisely added" and "perpetually expanding" to this standard construct?
Unfortunately for Mallard, it has the opposite effect from what he wants, making him seem more unreasonably strident and petty rather than making his point stronger.
Monday, July 27, 2009
That damned List
What's Mallard raving about today?
Michael Jackson, Racism.
A Black entertainer dies, Mallard seizes the opportunity to decry charges of racism which are tossed around too loosely.
Meanwhile...Mallard tosses around charges of racism.
I believe Republicans greatest achievement is the ability to withstand their own cognitive dissonance.
Michael Jackson, Racism.
A Black entertainer dies, Mallard seizes the opportunity to decry charges of racism which are tossed around too loosely.
Meanwhile...Mallard tosses around charges of racism.
I believe Republicans greatest achievement is the ability to withstand their own cognitive dissonance.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
That damned Health Plan
What's Mallard raving about today?
Health Care, Government.
Maybe I've been at this too long. But I have no idea what the hell Mallard is talking about anymore. I mean, I know he's complaining about plans for a Public Insurance Option. But, what relevance does "buy one get one free" have for the Health Care debate?
Or is this just one of the most sophomoric metaphors ever?
Health Care, Government.
Maybe I've been at this too long. But I have no idea what the hell Mallard is talking about anymore. I mean, I know he's complaining about plans for a Public Insurance Option. But, what relevance does "buy one get one free" have for the Health Care debate?
Or is this just one of the most sophomoric metaphors ever?
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Those damned brands
What's Mallard raving about today?
School.
It's July. A back to school comic in July makes as much sense as the content of this comic.
School.
It's July. A back to school comic in July makes as much sense as the content of this comic.
Friday, July 24, 2009
That damned spending
What's Mallard raving about today?
Congress, Spending.
Paid cash for their houses, did they?
Everyone racks up debt, Mallard. There is good debt and bad debt, of course. But I wouldn't expect someone who can't even comprehend this simple fact to understand that.
Congress, Spending.
Paid cash for their houses, did they?
Everyone racks up debt, Mallard. There is good debt and bad debt, of course. But I wouldn't expect someone who can't even comprehend this simple fact to understand that.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
That damned panel
What's Mallard raving about today?
Celebrities, Global Warming, President Bush.
"I'm Mallard Fillmore, and I just wanted to prove that there was no depth to which I would not sink."
Celebrities, Global Warming, President Bush.
"I'm Mallard Fillmore, and I just wanted to prove that there was no depth to which I would not sink."
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
That damned memo
What's Mallard raving about today?
President Obama, Vice President Biden.
And, far better than the 8 years of President Bush & Vice President Cheney, by far.
President Obama, Vice President Biden.
And, far better than the 8 years of President Bush & Vice President Cheney, by far.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Those damned Advisors
What's Mallard raving about today?
Foreign Policy, Hugo Chavez, Daniel Ortego, Fidel Castro.
Only in Mallard's fevered, Fox-fueled, imagination.
Foreign Policy, Hugo Chavez, Daniel Ortego, Fidel Castro.
Only in Mallard's fevered, Fox-fueled, imagination.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
That damned GPS
What's Mallard raving about today?
Auto Makers, Government.
Mallard is very vocally opposed to the US Government takeover of the Auto Makers.
He's a lot less vocal about our takeover of financial institutions.
Discuss.
Auto Makers, Government.
Mallard is very vocally opposed to the US Government takeover of the Auto Makers.
He's a lot less vocal about our takeover of financial institutions.
Discuss.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
That damned TV
What's Mallard raving about today?
The Media, President Obama
I have no idea, unlike Mallard, who Jon and Kate are.
But I want to remind you that Mallard thinks Michael Jackson fans have no life.
The Media, President Obama
I have no idea, unlike Mallard, who Jon and Kate are.
But I want to remind you that Mallard thinks Michael Jackson fans have no life.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Those damned Cows
What's Mallard raving about today?
Cows, Climate Change.
Michael Jackson fans have no lives, but Mallard is the one titillated by the thought of cows belching.
Cows, Climate Change.
Michael Jackson fans have no lives, but Mallard is the one titillated by the thought of cows belching.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Those damned lives
What's Mallard raving about today?
Michael Jackson Fans
Michael Jackson, in his career, changed Music, Dance, and Marketing forever.
And yet a duck, who has done nothing for over a decade but repeat what Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, and Glenn Beck tell him during his 80+ hours per week sitting inertly and watching Fox, is criticizing his fans for mourning his passing.
That said, I look forward to finding out later this week how the fans of Michael Jackson are the real racists in American society.
Michael Jackson Fans
Michael Jackson, in his career, changed Music, Dance, and Marketing forever.
And yet a duck, who has done nothing for over a decade but repeat what Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, and Glenn Beck tell him during his 80+ hours per week sitting inertly and watching Fox, is criticizing his fans for mourning his passing.
That said, I look forward to finding out later this week how the fans of Michael Jackson are the real racists in American society.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
That damned Culture
What's Mallard raving about today?
Pop Culture, Michael Jackson
A duck sitting inertly in his armchair, a brown box of generic snacks beside him, staring with glazed eyes at the TV is criticizing American society and pop culture.
With no hint of irony.
Pop Culture, Michael Jackson
A duck sitting inertly in his armchair, a brown box of generic snacks beside him, staring with glazed eyes at the TV is criticizing American society and pop culture.
With no hint of irony.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
That damned Ideal
What's Mallard raving about today?
Colorblind Society.
Aside from one statement, taken largely out of context and hardly even controversial when considered in light of statements from past Supreme Court Nominees, Mallard has not presented one shred of evidence to suggest that Sonia Sotomayor is not qualified nor the best person available.
His entire argument against her is, quite literally: She's a Latina, therefore she must not be a qualified candidate.
It's really hard to understand why Republicans have a 5% favorable rating among Latinos.
Colorblind Society.
Aside from one statement, taken largely out of context and hardly even controversial when considered in light of statements from past Supreme Court Nominees, Mallard has not presented one shred of evidence to suggest that Sonia Sotomayor is not qualified nor the best person available.
His entire argument against her is, quite literally: She's a Latina, therefore she must not be a qualified candidate.
It's really hard to understand why Republicans have a 5% favorable rating among Latinos.
Monday, July 13, 2009
That damned study
What's Mallard raving about today?
Kevin, America.
This just in from Mallard Fillmore: Education does not have the power to change race and gender.
Meanwhile, Republicans continue to demonstrate that their party has no interest in receiving another Latino vote, ever.
Kevin, America.
This just in from Mallard Fillmore: Education does not have the power to change race and gender.
Meanwhile, Republicans continue to demonstrate that their party has no interest in receiving another Latino vote, ever.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Those damned options
What's Mallard raving about today?
Education.
Always interesting when fiercely anti-education Mallard Fillmore brings his proud-to-be-ignorant mind to bear on Education issues.
Today's episode is particularly fascinating insofar as:
Education.
Always interesting when fiercely anti-education Mallard Fillmore brings his proud-to-be-ignorant mind to bear on Education issues.
Today's episode is particularly fascinating insofar as:
- "c" is not really borne out by reality (but let's not let that get in the way of our talking points)
- "Spending More on Education" is not among the available options.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
That damned Silence
What's Mallard raving about today?
Senator Boxer
In Mallard world, Senator Boxer requesting the correct form of address warrants two days of bleating.
In the real world, this was such a non-event that no one even heard about it.
The slide continues...
Senator Boxer
In Mallard world, Senator Boxer requesting the correct form of address warrants two days of bleating.
In the real world, this was such a non-event that no one even heard about it.
The slide continues...
Friday, July 10, 2009
Those damned things
What's Mallard raving about today?
Senator Boxer, name-calling.
The Republican slide into complete irrelevance due to their insatiable focus on petty incidents and infantile name-calling continues apace.
Senator Boxer, name-calling.
The Republican slide into complete irrelevance due to their insatiable focus on petty incidents and infantile name-calling continues apace.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
That damned Miss Viable
What's Mallard raving about today?
Progressives, Torture, Abortion.
Shorter Mallard Fillmore: Progressives are in favor of terminating as many completely viable late-term fetuses as possible.
What surprises me most is how many people willingly swallow this line of obvious horse crap, designed to turn political opponents into sub-human monsters.
Progressives, Torture, Abortion.
Shorter Mallard Fillmore: Progressives are in favor of terminating as many completely viable late-term fetuses as possible.
What surprises me most is how many people willingly swallow this line of obvious horse crap, designed to turn political opponents into sub-human monsters.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
That damned Genuflection
What's Mallard raving about today?
President Obama, Fox Network.
Of course Fox are not genuflecting. Former President Bush is not around.
President Obama, Fox Network.
Of course Fox are not genuflecting. Former President Bush is not around.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
That damned Test
Whats' Mallard raving about today?
Kim Jong-Il, President Obama, Fox Network.
Having spent the past 8 years ingesting a steady diet of Fox News and Rush Limbaugh, Mallard has, quite literally, forgotten that criticism of the President occurs.
Kim Jong-Il, President Obama, Fox Network.
Having spent the past 8 years ingesting a steady diet of Fox News and Rush Limbaugh, Mallard has, quite literally, forgotten that criticism of the President occurs.
Monday, July 06, 2009
Those Delusions of Grandeur
What's Mallard raving about today?
President Obama, Blogs, Twitter, Fox, Talk Radio.
Wow. Simply breathtaking.
Breathtaking in its stupidity in comparing citizen-driven journalism to talking points-driven propaganda outlets.
Or breathtaking in its delusion of grandeur in comparing Mallard Fillmore's importance to Fox and Rush Limbaugh.
Either way...breathtaking.
President Obama, Blogs, Twitter, Fox, Talk Radio.
Wow. Simply breathtaking.
Breathtaking in its stupidity in comparing citizen-driven journalism to talking points-driven propaganda outlets.
Or breathtaking in its delusion of grandeur in comparing Mallard Fillmore's importance to Fox and Rush Limbaugh.
Either way...breathtaking.
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Happy 4th of July!
Happy Independence Day!
I say this knowing the risk that a specific small-minded waterfowl will create a straw man insinuating that my patriotism is not sincere, unlike his own.
I say this knowing the risk that a specific small-minded waterfowl will create a straw man insinuating that my patriotism is not sincere, unlike his own.
Friday, July 03, 2009
That damned Pride
What's Mallard raving about today?
President Obama, Michele Obama.
Right Wing Talking Point since the campaign: The Obama's hate America.
How's that working out for you so far?
President Obama, Michele Obama.
Right Wing Talking Point since the campaign: The Obama's hate America.
How's that working out for you so far?
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Those damned Journalists
What's Mallard raving about today?
Journalists.
Some 400 newspapers are running a "comic" today which would not be significantly altered if you just scrawled the words "Journalism sucks!" in crayon on the page.
But it's OK because a bitter waterfowl must hold fast to the belief that he is the spokesduck for the "average American" despite the fact that his views are currently shared by approximately 20% of the population.
That could all change quickly, however, if only the wishes of the folks at Fox would be granted.
Journalists.
Some 400 newspapers are running a "comic" today which would not be significantly altered if you just scrawled the words "Journalism sucks!" in crayon on the page.
But it's OK because a bitter waterfowl must hold fast to the belief that he is the spokesduck for the "average American" despite the fact that his views are currently shared by approximately 20% of the population.
That could all change quickly, however, if only the wishes of the folks at Fox would be granted.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
That damned Involvement
What's Mallard raving about today?
Big Government, The Economy.
Mallard demonstrates once again his sophomoric command of issues and his lack of intellectual nuance.
In Mallard's world you start from a existing premise (Government is bad) and any isolated and specific instance which illustrates that point, proves the point.
But, does Mallard really think the Government can be uninvolved in the economy? Should we allow the Military (and all of its spending, including salaries for soldiers) to be subject to the free market? How about the Fire and Police Departments?
At any rate, it made me wonder how long before we see Mallard take on Health Care reform, using the schizoid Republican talking points: Public health care would be a bloated inefficient behemoth...and the private insurance companies just can't compete with that.
Big Government, The Economy.
Mallard demonstrates once again his sophomoric command of issues and his lack of intellectual nuance.
In Mallard's world you start from a existing premise (Government is bad) and any isolated and specific instance which illustrates that point, proves the point.
But, does Mallard really think the Government can be uninvolved in the economy? Should we allow the Military (and all of its spending, including salaries for soldiers) to be subject to the free market? How about the Fire and Police Departments?
At any rate, it made me wonder how long before we see Mallard take on Health Care reform, using the schizoid Republican talking points: Public health care would be a bloated inefficient behemoth...and the private insurance companies just can't compete with that.
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